onsdag 14. mai 2014
The Worlds Happiest Woman
Its me today, i wondered how it is possible beeing so happy and beeing hospitalisised. I have to come with an excuse for my writing in english, but i hope it is understandable. Today i was waking up and felt tired and with fatigue. I did not want to go on hiking today, because i did not think i would manage to get to the top. I went anyway, but thought it is impossible that i will make it to the top. But i did !!! I got so happy i started to talk about everything and nothing, and realised i was not psycotic, but just me and happy again. It was like a blessing found me and just saied to me : " Hey, you are okay ! " It is not easy to value youreself like a person, but i did. I thought : " You were a cosy woman before so why not be that again. " I started to talk and be more sosial and not beeing afraid of telling something wrong or doing something wrong. After the hiking i had a meeting with my doctor and he and I came down to trying another week without medication to see if i get better from fatigue. And i am so happy to get less medication. I will go on a very lowe dose of medication. It felt good beeing heard. I went home to my house ( for a while more ) and cleaned the house, made dinner and wrote on a book. My brother heared me reading from the book and saied : " You have to write this finished and give it out as a soundbook. " I got so happy, because my brother always tells what he means. And he is so kind that he gives me his old mac. So now i have a computer tomorrow. I vistied at home also my sister and her daughter and the two dogs in the family. One dog is my sisters and one dog is my mothers. They are so happy and kind when i arrive that it is anti depressiva to be together with them. My sister, my aunt child and my brother have just been in Paris at Eurodisney and to see the city to make my aunt child happy. And she had thought of me when she was there and bought me the " La tour eiffel. " ( i dont know if that was right spelled i need a dictionary, but i hope you have patientse with me ) in glass filled with shimmering candys and a keyring around the top of the La tour eiffel. She gave it to me and hugged me. She was so proud and happy to give me a present. I have people that loves me, and it dont need to be the whole world that loves me. But people close to me wich cares for me, show me the way they feel for me, and that is that i am loved.
My son played gitar and we talked a lot, and he is such a strong, good and kind young man. That starts higher education this year. I am so proud and happy that my heart skipped some beats today. I am overwhelmed in happiness and love. And realise that to give also is a present so see other people get happy is also a present to you.
I had also coffe together with my aunt today and we talked and laughed. Her grandchild came home from school and she has birthday on Sunday and i gave her to small bags with balloons in the colours of the Norwegian Flag. She got so thankful that it moved my heart. I thought i wanna be St. Claus this coming christmas. It is just a joy to be me again and function on the mental stage again with following my heart. And my heart is home and beeing kind to other people.
Today was a simple day with a lot of happiness even though the day did not start good. Everything changed to the better, and i take notes to see that i have very good days so if i should feel depressed or with fatigue I will know that it goes over and that i am me again. I hope you have a good and happy day and turn out to have days that you feel like the luckiset and happiest person on earth. Write a diary so you know that days are good and it often starts to be a happy life when you keep it all simple and dares to believe, and i know the secret works, and also walking with the cross. I have prayed everyday to have a good life and a good life to other people to.
" Life is always worth living, have a happy time "
My son played gitar and we talked a lot, and he is such a strong, good and kind young man. That starts higher education this year. I am so proud and happy that my heart skipped some beats today. I am overwhelmed in happiness and love. And realise that to give also is a present so see other people get happy is also a present to you.
I had also coffe together with my aunt today and we talked and laughed. Her grandchild came home from school and she has birthday on Sunday and i gave her to small bags with balloons in the colours of the Norwegian Flag. She got so thankful that it moved my heart. I thought i wanna be St. Claus this coming christmas. It is just a joy to be me again and function on the mental stage again with following my heart. And my heart is home and beeing kind to other people.
Today was a simple day with a lot of happiness even though the day did not start good. Everything changed to the better, and i take notes to see that i have very good days so if i should feel depressed or with fatigue I will know that it goes over and that i am me again. I hope you have a good and happy day and turn out to have days that you feel like the luckiset and happiest person on earth. Write a diary so you know that days are good and it often starts to be a happy life when you keep it all simple and dares to believe, and i know the secret works, and also walking with the cross. I have prayed everyday to have a good life and a good life to other people to.
" Life is always worth living, have a happy time "
mandag 12. mai 2014
How The Secret Works
Today i have been home nearly the whole day. I made pasta for dinner and was happy under the meal to share it with my son and my mom. I thanked the Lord above to make dinner and stand in the kitchen again. I have not had fatigue today and went for a walk earlier today and took in the beautiful landscape and the mental pictures of spring. It is good to see how the nature wakes up after a long dark winter ( even though i like winter ). Today i got a present from my mom, a good body lotion without parabens, and it smelled good. I thought about it : " Hey, the secret works." I just needed a body lotion, my body lotion was empty yeasterday. So someone thought i needed a new one. I dont have much money, but i seldom complaines. I get what i need. Unless now on the house and appartment market, it is expensive here to live, so i really dont know what to do. But i leave it up to the secret. The Lord knows i need a house or an appartment. So it will be exiting to see what comes up.
When my mom gave me the bodylotion i thought about how i forget the secret, because i dont practise it all the time. With illness and fatigue it is easy to forget that someone still cares for you, and the Lord above and family and friends do. I started to think all i have gotten the last month :
1. A bag full of pencils and pens, and magic coulours crayons.
2. 10 packets of cigarettes.
3. Free exercise and physical therapist with the unit.
5. 10 clothings for under half the price, i saved over 250 usd.
6. Free writing paper.
7. A book.
8. A sweather, chocolate and sigarettes as a present.
9. Real Pearls and a bracelets from Fiji ( a present from my son :-) )
10. I found again the swarodszki crystall cross.
11. A free magazine.
12. What i buyed in the grocery shop was cheaper than i expected.
13. I have smoked less.
14. The doctor is lowering the medication and i have less fatigue.
15. Blueberry as a present.
16. Seeing again my grandma on 104 years old.
17. My son had a fantastic and safe journey around the world.
18. My son shared all the pictures and videos with me from the journey around the world.
19. Today i have been active the whole day without sleeping.
20. I am better in all today.
This is only the last month, and it is enough to be happy over and live a happy life. I have so much to be thankful over and is. I think the secret is to be greatfull and say thank you to the Lord above and people. Now i go soon to bed and is ready to have food education tomorrow ( all free that to ). Just look around in youre life and see if the secret works for you. And remember the Lord above is in for suprises.
" Look forward to surprises- there always is surprises. "
I thank the Lord above for the gifts in my life :-) I have so much to be happy for and is today :-)
When my mom gave me the bodylotion i thought about how i forget the secret, because i dont practise it all the time. With illness and fatigue it is easy to forget that someone still cares for you, and the Lord above and family and friends do. I started to think all i have gotten the last month :
1. A bag full of pencils and pens, and magic coulours crayons.
2. 10 packets of cigarettes.
3. Free exercise and physical therapist with the unit.
5. 10 clothings for under half the price, i saved over 250 usd.
6. Free writing paper.
7. A book.
8. A sweather, chocolate and sigarettes as a present.
9. Real Pearls and a bracelets from Fiji ( a present from my son :-) )
10. I found again the swarodszki crystall cross.
11. A free magazine.
12. What i buyed in the grocery shop was cheaper than i expected.
13. I have smoked less.
14. The doctor is lowering the medication and i have less fatigue.
15. Blueberry as a present.
16. Seeing again my grandma on 104 years old.
17. My son had a fantastic and safe journey around the world.
18. My son shared all the pictures and videos with me from the journey around the world.
19. Today i have been active the whole day without sleeping.
20. I am better in all today.
This is only the last month, and it is enough to be happy over and live a happy life. I have so much to be thankful over and is. I think the secret is to be greatfull and say thank you to the Lord above and people. Now i go soon to bed and is ready to have food education tomorrow ( all free that to ). Just look around in youre life and see if the secret works for you. And remember the Lord above is in for suprises.
" Look forward to surprises- there always is surprises. "
I thank the Lord above for the gifts in my life :-) I have so much to be happy for and is today :-)
søndag 11. mai 2014
Happy Day
Today is a relaxing day with sunshine and dogs. I was home for some hours today and the dogs at home greeted me as if i had been away for years. Last time i saw them one of the dogs tried to drag me inside the house after one of my ears. She was gentle, but did not know how to get me fast inside. Today i have walked one of the nurses dogs and managed to get him to walk heel after only some minutes. It is a beautiful Nova Scott Tolling Retreiever, and now i have been searching the net for a dog to myself. I need someone to get me into routine when i get home. But maybe i wait for one more year before i buy a dog, but i found a great kennel that breeds Flat Coated Retriever, they socialise the dogs early and was very good with the dogs. I havent forgot myself with dogs and they get me to remember that i am still here and is myself and that dogs like me. It is so happy to be together with dogs.
Last evening my cousin was here, with a present and a good happy smile that i recover from psycosis, and is free of psycosis now. But i have days with fatigue and they have taken me down on medication. Experience based training is good, and to even have dogs in the unit is something that gets the patients better. My cousin and i talked for two hours, and she saied : " Get well again an i book you a room in Rome. " She is a hotel director and they have hotels in Rome, but first i want to go to Dublin this autumn to celebrate my 40 year birthday. It is quite a step to really understand that I reach 40 in September. I hope i will manage to do a lot of travelling when i get well again. It is a step to get healed to have people around you that loves you and appreciate you and just accept you for the person you are. They have walked beside me since i got ill the first time in 2002, but i did not get a diagnoze before 2007. And did not get very ill before 2011. It is hard to work out of psycosis and into the world again, but i love life and all there is to it. And work everyday with my mental status to heal. I have strong side effects of medication and need to take Akineton that is medication against side effects and it helps.
Today to walk a dog got me out of fatigue, i manage to walk braver and have a happy time and not at least be me, and the dog accepts you for who you are. To use dogs with patients is healing and can save lifes. This week has been a good week, and the weather is good. I hope you all have happy days and if someone who reads this have a mental illness, never give up. There is always hope.
" Hope everyday for recovery and never give up. "
Last evening my cousin was here, with a present and a good happy smile that i recover from psycosis, and is free of psycosis now. But i have days with fatigue and they have taken me down on medication. Experience based training is good, and to even have dogs in the unit is something that gets the patients better. My cousin and i talked for two hours, and she saied : " Get well again an i book you a room in Rome. " She is a hotel director and they have hotels in Rome, but first i want to go to Dublin this autumn to celebrate my 40 year birthday. It is quite a step to really understand that I reach 40 in September. I hope i will manage to do a lot of travelling when i get well again. It is a step to get healed to have people around you that loves you and appreciate you and just accept you for the person you are. They have walked beside me since i got ill the first time in 2002, but i did not get a diagnoze before 2007. And did not get very ill before 2011. It is hard to work out of psycosis and into the world again, but i love life and all there is to it. And work everyday with my mental status to heal. I have strong side effects of medication and need to take Akineton that is medication against side effects and it helps.
Today to walk a dog got me out of fatigue, i manage to walk braver and have a happy time and not at least be me, and the dog accepts you for who you are. To use dogs with patients is healing and can save lifes. This week has been a good week, and the weather is good. I hope you all have happy days and if someone who reads this have a mental illness, never give up. There is always hope.
" Hope everyday for recovery and never give up. "
tirsdag 6. mai 2014
The World Most Beautiful Women
Today i want to share a secret. So everybody can feel pretty and beautiful. It was a trick i found out in 1999. But remember to stay youreself or turn into youre real self again or for the first time in youre life. To turn to be a woman.
I came out of a break up with my fiance for ten years, and it hurted a lot. And i felt ugly, fat and boaring. I was not. I just felt that way. Sometimes youre feelings is not the reality. But i had to change, for my son and for myself to not go under in grieve over the litle lost family, wich i thought should be more of litle people. My x-fiance found a new woman, and i wanted not to be threatened about that and just wish them well. It did not work out so i would not make a mess in his life or in my life and in the most important part of it all not my sons life. And i have managed to keep it that way for many years.
But i changed after a while into something else. You can laugh of this, i turned into a very beautiful woman. And had a trick. I thought I wount be threatened " on the market " and saied to myself after reading a lot of psycology and popular psycology that i could trick my mind into something got real. I thought could i trick my mind into beeing the most beautiful woman in the world and believe it ( and keep it a secret ) nobody could threaten me with their looks, theire money, theire education etc... I grew strong and beautiful into this believe with a litle twist. I was reality orientated that i not was the most beautiful woman in the world, and started to say to myself : " I am the most beautiful me in the world. " And it worked. I did the best out of myself and the strange thing was, i started to be totally different, clothes and things didnt bother me, it was not the interest, but staying with my son and friends. Have a dog and live slowly. I was totally different, and got a lot of compliments from men. Some even saying they rather wanted me than a movie star. I was sometimes in shock of all this and i did not get quite used to it, because i am not the one wanting so much attention. But remember to all mankind : " You are the most beautiful you. " It works like magic. I stopped using this affirmation and things went wrong, and i have to use it again, because of all the changes in my body. I have gained weight and shaved of my hair right before christmas. It was a protest against all the beauty focus. It only gets people depressed, to feel never good enough. But i realised i was good enough for some men even with a lot of over weight, it is the carisma and the charme. But i realised something. Far more beautiful women than me never threatens me. I like them, and love them for theire kindness, but remember you can feel ugly and turn faboulusly beautiful. I even got question to go underwear model in 2002. But i did not want to.
About beeing beautiful, the real thing is youre eyes and youre smile. Men - Real men, loves a woman for what she really is, not the surgery or all the diets. The best men like a woman with a litle weight. They want a strong woman. I have met some men. And can write a book about self confidence. It works to feel beautiful and in harmony. By saying : " I am the most beautiful me. " You go away from all the beauty queen contests and en up naturally and in harmony. Just try it for 3 months and be happy, try it for 6 months and you get stronger, try it for a year and you have a new life. And most of all, maybe you end up with true love :-)
" Smile - youre beautiful. "
I came out of a break up with my fiance for ten years, and it hurted a lot. And i felt ugly, fat and boaring. I was not. I just felt that way. Sometimes youre feelings is not the reality. But i had to change, for my son and for myself to not go under in grieve over the litle lost family, wich i thought should be more of litle people. My x-fiance found a new woman, and i wanted not to be threatened about that and just wish them well. It did not work out so i would not make a mess in his life or in my life and in the most important part of it all not my sons life. And i have managed to keep it that way for many years.
But i changed after a while into something else. You can laugh of this, i turned into a very beautiful woman. And had a trick. I thought I wount be threatened " on the market " and saied to myself after reading a lot of psycology and popular psycology that i could trick my mind into something got real. I thought could i trick my mind into beeing the most beautiful woman in the world and believe it ( and keep it a secret ) nobody could threaten me with their looks, theire money, theire education etc... I grew strong and beautiful into this believe with a litle twist. I was reality orientated that i not was the most beautiful woman in the world, and started to say to myself : " I am the most beautiful me in the world. " And it worked. I did the best out of myself and the strange thing was, i started to be totally different, clothes and things didnt bother me, it was not the interest, but staying with my son and friends. Have a dog and live slowly. I was totally different, and got a lot of compliments from men. Some even saying they rather wanted me than a movie star. I was sometimes in shock of all this and i did not get quite used to it, because i am not the one wanting so much attention. But remember to all mankind : " You are the most beautiful you. " It works like magic. I stopped using this affirmation and things went wrong, and i have to use it again, because of all the changes in my body. I have gained weight and shaved of my hair right before christmas. It was a protest against all the beauty focus. It only gets people depressed, to feel never good enough. But i realised i was good enough for some men even with a lot of over weight, it is the carisma and the charme. But i realised something. Far more beautiful women than me never threatens me. I like them, and love them for theire kindness, but remember you can feel ugly and turn faboulusly beautiful. I even got question to go underwear model in 2002. But i did not want to.
About beeing beautiful, the real thing is youre eyes and youre smile. Men - Real men, loves a woman for what she really is, not the surgery or all the diets. The best men like a woman with a litle weight. They want a strong woman. I have met some men. And can write a book about self confidence. It works to feel beautiful and in harmony. By saying : " I am the most beautiful me. " You go away from all the beauty queen contests and en up naturally and in harmony. Just try it for 3 months and be happy, try it for 6 months and you get stronger, try it for a year and you have a new life. And most of all, maybe you end up with true love :-)
" Smile - youre beautiful. "
søndag 4. mai 2014
Getting Goals
Today i have been home for some hours in pure happiness, my son is back from his around the world journey, and he had a great time. I am very proud of him managing everything all over the world. He still have jetlag so he sleeps and stayes with friends that have missed him when he has been away. And i have missed him so much it has hurt, I am happy he is home and relaxed that all went good. It is something to let ones own kid go out into the big world. We come from a litle island on the west coast of Norway so it is a challenge to managing the world on his own ( he travelled with a friend ) and met people from all over the world. I am so happy he is home again, and cleaned the house and baked home made bread and bought a lot of fresh food to his arrival at home. The one thing he missed the moust when he was away was fresh and clean water. We get our water from a mountain lake, it is fresh, clean and good water. So he drinks water all the time :-)
Today is the big day for me here about setting goals. I have got my exercise diary in the mail and it is good. It shows all i need to work with : strength, condition and food. I am now 89.3 kilos so i have lost some weight. Today i need to sit down and work with what i need to do to get to 60 kilos and have muscles and be in good condition.
To get goals you need to have a plan, and the easiest way is to have an exercise diary and work with it every day. You need to have clear and concrete goals and they need to be measurable. You need to be devoted to youre plan. I have a weakness in fatigue from the medications, but i will work with goals anyway. I am devoted to the plan and today i form down every goal to get to 60 kilos ( again ). I have earlier been in very good shape and condition and worked with it on an easy way. It was 2-3 hours of exercise every day and i could eat whatever i wanted and still loose weight. I ended up at 54 kilos. I had a dog that needed a lot of exercise, so the best advice i have to be in good shape is to get a dog. But get a dog only if you love them.
I dont know how long it will take me to reach 60 kilos, but i guess 30-40 weeks, maybe more. I go down slover because of the medication so it is not good to be on medication when you are going down in weight, but i can not quit medication yet. I have to go on medication for a while. To quit with medication you have to do together with a clever doctor. I write a book about experiensed based learning to recover from psycosis and i hope it will help a lot of people back to life. You need to find out what you want in life and go for it together with people that want you to be normal, healthy and happy. Life gets meaning when you find out what you want and put down goals. It can be so easy as wanting to everyday look good and stay healthy. It is to take the basal care for youreself and know that just a litle is enough in the start.
" The impossible is possible - it takes just a bit longer time. "
Today is the big day for me here about setting goals. I have got my exercise diary in the mail and it is good. It shows all i need to work with : strength, condition and food. I am now 89.3 kilos so i have lost some weight. Today i need to sit down and work with what i need to do to get to 60 kilos and have muscles and be in good condition.
To get goals you need to have a plan, and the easiest way is to have an exercise diary and work with it every day. You need to have clear and concrete goals and they need to be measurable. You need to be devoted to youre plan. I have a weakness in fatigue from the medications, but i will work with goals anyway. I am devoted to the plan and today i form down every goal to get to 60 kilos ( again ). I have earlier been in very good shape and condition and worked with it on an easy way. It was 2-3 hours of exercise every day and i could eat whatever i wanted and still loose weight. I ended up at 54 kilos. I had a dog that needed a lot of exercise, so the best advice i have to be in good shape is to get a dog. But get a dog only if you love them.
I dont know how long it will take me to reach 60 kilos, but i guess 30-40 weeks, maybe more. I go down slover because of the medication so it is not good to be on medication when you are going down in weight, but i can not quit medication yet. I have to go on medication for a while. To quit with medication you have to do together with a clever doctor. I write a book about experiensed based learning to recover from psycosis and i hope it will help a lot of people back to life. You need to find out what you want in life and go for it together with people that want you to be normal, healthy and happy. Life gets meaning when you find out what you want and put down goals. It can be so easy as wanting to everyday look good and stay healthy. It is to take the basal care for youreself and know that just a litle is enough in the start.
" The impossible is possible - it takes just a bit longer time. "
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