lørdag 31. desember 2016
The Norwegian Kings New Year Speech (?)
I am thankful over still being alive after being through torture in Norway.
I was from 2012 to 2015 isolated for these years without communication to the outer world.
I did not get information about the outer world and was refused to read papers and magazines.
Even the Bible was taken away from me at one incident of shielding.
It is against the law and i suffer from post traumatic depression after the treatment.
I have been under forced treatment for 5 years and i do not think it is legal when a person is kind.
It went so far in shielding that health care workers talked to me about personal problems and what to do in life.
Is the patient so very ill when this paradox occurs in the treatment.
I also was threatened by one doctor to stop blogging.
He wanted to keep my free voice off the line.
I have never been a threat against my country or against persons.
I only tell the truth.
I have lost all my social network and understand that there are few people being true in friendship.
They create fictional stories to protect they're own integrity and trustworthy behavior.
I have experienced mental picture manipulation.
Last time in an psychiatric open institution.
I chose to leave the institution after a day.
The media does not cover the story i have and it is not fame seeking or attention.
But to show how they can ruin a nurse and a single mom that understand a lot.
Today i watched the King of Norways new year speech.
He talked so much about granting people they're wishes from a wishing tree they have had in the norwegian castle park. He wanted to grant the wish for a free life to all citizens.
It was a lie.
People are being treated so bad in the psychiatric treatment and hospitalization that it takes life.
Norway is Europe`s worse country to be under forced treatment in.
Norway has had several complains from The Europe Council.
They have been put under the question on why and to give people human and professional treatment.
I have been controlled to suicidal thoughts and behavior.
I have written to the King for help and treatment for PTSD after isolation.
I have filed my novels about my treatment and personal journey through the mental institution landscape and treatment.
My conclusion is that people seldom give they're best at work.
The dialoges in the units is mostly between health care workers about they're own interests and very little communicative towards the patients.
I have been sitting in silence for a long time hospitalized without communication.
Subjective language and ways of communication should be heard by the people working in the units.
Observation in behavior dont give you the right picture because people are not mind readers.
I am ruined mentally and physically after these 5 years.
I need treatment for the treatment.
The Kings Speech was not related to the truth about Norway.
A gouvernent attorney did not help me in court.
She was against me.
The doctor lied and was aggressive and it lead me to a suicidal attempt.
It should be illegal to put patients through this during hospitalization.
Norway is not a country where you can start over new with a new day to hold in faith that things can change if you have been under forced treatment.
They used all against me.
A doctor from Hungary gave me 10 months in security unit with high medication of writing that i looked for my son in my suitcase.
The reality was that i was well and looked for a picture in a frame taken of my son by the time i gave birth to him.
I did not understand this before i read my journal months afterwards.
The doctor should have been given prison for writing this about me.
She did not understand the language and held back information i gave her about ideas i work with.
I have had so hard times that it is a miracle that i live.
The King is informed about my case and i have also called the castle to get help.
But i got refused in an aggressive way by the woman taking the phone.
I take out case against the state of Norway for controlling me to suicidal behavior, suicide attempt and ruin my physical health.
The police is informed with that i have sendt them my novels in what is really going on.
My journal was taken away from me by law, that there is danger for my life if i read the journal.
If doctors and health care workers write a journal that is a threat against a patients life the law has been broken.
I plan to give out my novels and my journal as a book.
The journal will be commented by me in what is the reality.
When Russia attached Ukraina i got a panic attack.
The doctor wrote then that i thought i could control the world.
It is a lie and pure fiction in the imagination of a person that do not manage to communicate with patients. I have never believed i can control anything.
No lawyer help me.
They refuse to take the case and the one i had with last time did not do a good job.
The King of Norway does not understand the real picture of Norway.
You dont see the ground and the realism before they make you crawl.
I am always thinking new thoughts and is not paranoid schizophrenic.
If i had been i had reacted very bad on an overdose of medication given by a nurse.
I should have 5 mg Abilify because i already was on heavy medication.
She gave me 25 mg Abilify.
I nearly died.
My blood pressure went down to 64/43
and it probably was lower.
I heard a voice from God in what to do for surviving.
I have never done anything so destructive as this nurse.
I wonder why i am under treatment and why they dont talk to me.
I have no psychologist to talk to.
I need to understand and forgive.
It is really a murder case against the health system.
5 years on forced treatment.
Stolen freedom.
Torture.
Threats from Doctors.
Lying and fictional thinking in doctors.
I need help from a good human right attorney.
I know the reality for the people under forced treatment.
It is not human.
A 20 year old innocent boy was sent to 3 months isolation and controlled treatment.
He did not have the health to it after having had three heart attacks.
He was without examination from medical unit and had no heart medication.
He was sad because he did not want to have his last time in life under psychiatric treatment.
I pray for the patients of Norway.
The council that shall help patients through rough and wrong cases do not want to help me.
I go into a new year very sad about the state Norway are in with forced treatment and isolation.
Isolation is very dangerous for peoples minds.
There are a law that it only shall be held for 24 hours because of the danger.
With me it was 3 years.
I am a big question but know that there are people helping out.
But it is hard to forgive meaningless and harmfull treatment.
I hope someone understand what is going on and give us that suffer a lot a way of hope and a road to a free life.
I live in a small sparkle of spirit and hope for this to come through.
Freedom to all people and a way to start over new.
It is a human right to have
Right to life.
Norway has not given me this.
Nanopersonality
When you dont find the answers from the people you are closest to, you start to seek.
" Seek and You Shall Find. "
I found www.theschooloflife.com.
It is a web place that teach you what you dont learned in school.
Life teach you the right way to walk.
I understood Michael Jackson for several of years ago.
" Bad " means " Bath " in norwegian.
People tend to use different object relation theory for what they are.
The crucial thing is why should we need to show the world who we are all the time.
But you can come into a place you have to show the real you.
I found out that i am a nano personality.
Probably the first one in the world to have it.
I place my ego behind to fulfill other peoples dreams and pursuit of happiness in life.
I have to live with the term ego to make the personality understandable.
The true thing is that i dont need much in life to feel happiness and i give away a lot of domains on twitter to help others to get into a business plan for life.
Nanopersonalities want to save the world.
This means i sell all my material stuff and give the money i rise to UNICEF.
I have to get into a eco plan of living
and find my way
knowing that i am small in my personality.
Famous people can be examined by the country they live in and they're true purpose in life.
Robbie Williams show this in the song " Feel. "
Rihanna in the song " Stay. "
You can find out that there is a communication between different artists and it is exploring to understand.
I will not write about this much now.
But will come back to object relation theory.
Maybe all the pain you are going through is just to make you ready for a better road in life.
Soul Identity System
Everyday i face problems, and know i face a new year.
2016 has been hard with a lot of hospitalization of suicidal thoughts.
But i live still.
And want others also to live and reach they're potential.
I guess i am going through the state of mind of being an adult and the transformation of the mind to face another periode in my life.
When you grow up many things can be easy and without problems.
But the problems in life and struggle will find you.
The meaning of it all is experience and i am finding my way through the problems, experiences and the way of communication with people evolve.
I wrote my own nursing plan for the psychiatric team to follow.
It is a basal simple plan with realistic and easy goals to follow.
But the true thing is that they dont manage to follow the plan and do not work well with me.
I thought i would come out of forced treatment in court by this.
But i did not.
The power other people can get over a person and a human scares me.
I show highly qualified proffesjonalisty in writing my own nursing plan and skills to organize me.
The sense of a self you need to have to make it through in life.
If people diagnose you, and it dont feel right, you can organize yourself to show them that you are kind and loving and have skills that can be developed and polished to a true talent.
I make it through with working on my goals alone.
It also have the goal of writing a novel.
About the power of love in a best friend.
Soul Identity System i write about to get people to organize well.
The ego and you're illness can be measured in the way you organize yourself and you're feelings.
It is that we have more than a ego.
We have a soul that always reach after something higher, even if it is not the entire world.
I dont want much in life.
But i find meaning in helping other people in finding experience and meaning in problems and suffering.
And find a way to develop an identity that holds out the life and what other people might do to you.
To develop a clear identity you do with following you're best emotions and feeling of love.
It gets you in a state when you dont copy other peoples material things or they're set of thinking.
You think alone and stay always true to yourself.
You will also begin to laugh with knowing that you are in control over you're life no matter what you face in life. You see the humor in situations and feel a lot of empathy.
It is the way to become a healthy human.
A healthy human feel empathy and care for others.
This is the reason why i write my blogg.
To help others suffering and trying to find meaning in the meaningless.
Life gives you questions to find a solution on.
You grow older and with that experience comes.
What i have experienced is that there is more care and empathy in fellow patients than in health care workers in the psychiatric field.
The madness in people i am not afraid of.
It is a reason and with being seen and listen to even the most complicated life problems can go away.
There is hope for us all.
I start this year on studying a MBA in Psychology to find out what i can do to be my own teacher in life.
People tend to say :
" When the time is in the master will occur. "
But be you're own teacher.
Dont wait.
There are so many possibilities for you that can give you a new direction in life.
It is never to late.
Happy New Year.
Love and Feel.
Hope is created in love and when you have hope you have the way to reach you're full potential.
Hold on.
tirsdag 27. desember 2016
mandag 26. desember 2016
torsdag 22. desember 2016
søndag 4. desember 2016
Someone Does Something
I can't take anymore.
I was just hospitalized for one and a half week because of suicidal thoughts.
I got overdose medication the last time i was there and was scared and alerted, i nearly died. I had blood pressure 64/43 and racing heart. I nearly fainted out.
The same nurse came on duty and said that the doctor was to blame.
I said that the doctor blames her. She said : dont do anything with this.
But on the evening medication, she came with overdose anti depressive.
I reacted strongly and dont trust nurses or doctors at the unit.
Nobody apologized the happening and just talked it away.
It was the same nurse.
Overdose medication in the way the nurse did it, it can be looked on as the same as if the police shoots someone.
I am afraid.
Somebody Kills Me
I die soon of peoples mental state.
I suffer from suicidal thoughts of all i have been through in life.
My fiancée i had from 1990-1999 and he is educated as a nurse killed me sexually and scared me so much with what he did that i dont dare to be together with a man.
The health care system dont give me a psychologist and only medicates me.
My ex fiancee made love to me in the end of the relationship.
He had already gotten a new lady but wanted me back.
He just fucked me and went out of bed with me lying in tears of what he did and he said :
" Now I Am Done With You. "
And threw me away. I was not done with the love making.
I reacted with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and the way people react after a rape.
I sat in the shower for a long time every day after this for over two weeks and cried.
I can't write anymore.
But people has fooled the world and manipulated me to wanting to die.
He is not kind towards me.
Soon I die of all happening.
Nobody helps me.
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