onsdag 22. juni 2016
An New Idea For The World Made It Through With All In The Unit
I have had economically problems. Not much because there is not much money in my welfare money to do so very much. I can't bribe people.
26 million norwegian krone is away from " Helse Midt Norge " ( Health Middle Norway ).
It has been written about in the papers and the Health Minister has asked for investigation of this use of money.
As that is said i had to go to the ATM Machine to check how much money i had.
After this was done i sat in the unit and told how backwards it all was to check how much money i had on my bank account.
I then got an idea for new payment machines in all the stores all over the world.
A payment machine to just punching in you're numbers and then push a button to check the amount of money on you're bank account.
I really dont understand why it has not been done before.
All in the unit agreed with me and wanted me to write to a bank.
But i write it here for someone to find it.
It had been relaxing with an easier world.
I am home today and loving and kind.
I know the world can be saved.
torsdag 16. juni 2016
An Life In Madness
I have had a hard day.
I called the hospital unit yesterday to talk with a doctor to be signed in.
I have headache and nose bleeding of stress.
Somebody do something to me and i can't understand the reason why.
To play games with you're closest ones is dangerous when somebody suffers. In the good life nobody should do that.
I did not get a call from doctors over the phone, and called the unit twice today.
I did not get a call before late in the day from a nurse from another unit.
It is an open unit in the district psychiatric that takes me in.
They shall start medication free treatment in september and i think i stay there to save my life and get of medication.
I am sad and tired and worn out of to much of wrong treatment, but there is one good thing with hospitalization, i sleep good.
It is sad to say goodbye to the summer here on the islands and the beach to get treatment during the summer.
I dont know why it should be so hard to treat me and listen to me when i know myself what is wrong.
I need a good psycholog to talk to.
Even in all this i have managed to get a good day after all.
I have had visitors and been out shopping a few things.
I am not mad, but i understand that quite a lot people is not well and do something to others.
I write so my own truth comes out and not only rumors by people telling things about me that is not true. I suffer from this and knows that i will somehow make it true.
But it is hard nearly all alone.
Peter James " Not Dead Enough "
Peter James is a good crime author and i recommend his books.
This book is : " Not Dead Enough "
A rich woman get killed,, she is beautiful and young and all the evidence points to her husband. The problem is that he has alibi.
The man the book is about is Roy Grace.
onsdag 15. juni 2016
Garth Brooks - When You Come Back To Me Again - LYRICS
Life is kind :-) Sometimes God helps out in ways you dont understand :-)
tirsdag 14. juni 2016
mandag 13. juni 2016
This I Have Written About Came Out of My Hospitalization
I have written about what i wrote to Barac Obama about, and i did not use my time in hospitalization to work out a plan over revenge over all they put me through.
I worked for mankind to get a better planet to live on.
I Also Wrote About Vitamin and Mineral Treatment
I also wrote to Barac Obama about an invention idea that could change the world and discover Leukemia in children at a early stage.
The technology for the invention is in USA by a woman there.
It is an machine that measures the vitamins and mineral levels in the body for home based use.
It is finger pricking blood sample and you scan it in a machine.
You follow you're own vitamin and mineral levels and go to the doctor if it is something wrong.
It is working together with apps.
It is a more simple idea that to have a car without a driver that is possible today.
To talk about this i got sendt to a high security unit and screened.
I have nearly been killed in the treatment and i can't take much more.
I thought a kind, funny and bright head could make it through with inventions that can change the health care and make people live longer.
To have natural balance with vitamins and minerals does that the body works optimal all the time.
I am educated as a nurse and understand a lot.
But i dont know why they have harmed me so much.
I never heard a thing.
Barac Obama
I really believed in Barac Obama.
I did not get help for innovative ideas in Norway and the doctors treated me for it.
I wrote to Barac Obama to get help and to give him the inventions ideas.
It was a hand held safety alarm for the police to get the society safer and get down gun sales and give the society a chance to get safer.
I also wrote to him about www.whiteflag.one.
about a organization for peace that was up for negotiations and to symbolize with a white flag pin to carry that it is not allowed in war to kill a person carrying a white flag.
It was to be a swarofski crystal on the flag pin to symbolize that it is just one of us in the world and that we have nobody to lose.
I also wrote to him about :
www.worldbureauofscience.com
to get all the world to work together with new science and health because we dont need competition to be the best, but to work together in kindness.
It is something different than to just work together for warfare and economics.
I did not get any response on this.
On my last hospitalization they told me that Barac Obama knows about me, and also a whole lot of others.
I can't write more about this since i know very little about it.
But...
In this hospitalization it got written in forced treatment that i was very ill and can't get better.
They took away all my hope
and it is illegal to take away hope from humans.
I Am Preparing For A Walkabout
I have not been traveling since 2007 and that summer we drove through nearly all Europe.
I want to se the world and find people to trust and have a good time with.
I am sitting in the sun and looking at my life with welfare money.
The system could have given me a job, i have wanted to work all the time i have been ill.
So no i am wondering in doing a walkabout in Scandinavia as a start, to find out what the world and the meaning is all about.
I think i go for a walkabout in July and see what i want to see and a bit more.
I will trust the Lord above to guide me and see me well of.
I think i am safer on a walkabout than in my own home.
I manage the world and want to travel.
My first wish is to see whales.
There is whale safari in the northern part of Norway.
I will walk and take the train and hitchhike.
I will be up for more of this.
I just want to feel free for a while from the system.
It has costed 50 million norwegian krone to treat me.
For a less amount they could have given me personal trainer and spa.
I really dont know how the health care system works.
They told me i could not get any better.
So i think i take a walk on the wild side with my australian cowgirl hat.
I will use my legs and just hang out in scandinavia.
Dont Delay What You Really Want To Do
I today started to read " The Illustrated Hobbit " by J.R.R. Tolkien.
I am exited to do this because i wanted it for years, but set the reading aside and read psychology.
Sometimes you can find good psychology in fantasy fiction also.
There is different characters in us human beings, and finding you're own way is the key to life.
But i recommend reading J.R.R. Tolkien for all.
søndag 12. juni 2016
The Key Master`s Secret
I write a Fantasy Fiction called " The Key Master`s Secret "
and i have to start writing for my life about the hidden truth about humans.
There is an endless way to rediscovery in all humans and fantasy can save the planet.
I can't reveal what the book is about - but there is a secret garden in all of us.
That maybe some will never understand.
I started to write this book when i was 19 and i take back my life and it is in the genre at the same thing as : Lord of The Rings.
There is courage in all of us, and you can find you're inner strength at the weakest if you only rest and sleep good.
I am kind and work for the people that is not easy to understand.
But moves us to a higher place with that they understand love, and love and kindness nearly all people understand.
I write for my life.
Natural Flow And The Meaning Of Life
This book about " Flow " i read now in gorgeous and kind sunlight.
The Birds are singing from the trees and work hard for their babys in their nests around the house.
I got an uplifting realization reading this book :
Years of treatment has sendt me through a state where i am done scared.
I have been so worried and scared over things happening that i had to lead all the worries away.
Psychiatric treatment dont scare me anymore.
I might be seen on like someone who dont manage the world.
But the truth is that i do.
But has changed into thoughts and into a perception on life that tells me what is the most important things in life to do.
It is not living on the edge all the time and be the most popular person.
It is to be free.
To find flow is not as hard as it seems.
It is to follow you're heart and you're true feelings to people, animals and situations and relationship you love.
It can also be a relationship with nature.
The meaning of life come to you when you find flow and happiness occurs as a gift from this.
It is not to be the best person all the time.
We have to accept that we have limits.
And when you know yourself you have much more freedom than the once not knowing themselves and are playing games with you.
It is to be free from social believes in a pack or a family that dont support the true you.
Mental illnesses are created in a social frame with either to much attention or to little attention.
People want different things in life. Why should you put up with people who treat you not nice and dont support you're dreams and what you are doing in life ?
Freedom and meaning of life comes to you also through darkness, because you learn true kindness in people through this. And there are few true persons.
But you learn and live.
Dont give up on yourself fighting for a better life.
There is so much to do.
It is just to walk past you're fear and be free to do what you really want.
It can cost a lot in the beginning but nobody is entitled to tell you what is the best for you're life.
Findind flow in a mental institution is nearly impossible because of how they are built and how people work.
But a good advice for me is to pray to the Lord above.
He gives you peace in you're mind by changing you're thoughts and resent science tells that prayer changes the brain to a better state and lead you to peace.
It can be good health to use the time in a mental institution finding you're really true way.
The realistic view on the society is that most people are a bit crazy.
The most of the population goes through a mental illness once or twice in their life.
I dream of a world that includes people and say like Metallica says :
" So What ? "
Life is new in every single second and you can start over again wherever you are and find more meaning than what you thought was possible if you just hold on to life.
It is for me a good day to stay alive even if i suffer from severe pain from side effects of the medications i go on.
But i have found the meaning for my life and it lead me to this by a lot of darkness.
Just hold on and read to educate you're mind and know that you're soul is pure all the time.
lørdag 11. juni 2016
Natural Exercise In The Sunset By The West Coast Of Norway
I have had a great day even if things has gone a bit wrong.
We face problems everyday and life is to solve problems.
I went down to the beach and the sea here by the west coast of Norway on the location the island Vigra.
I walked down in peace and joy.
But a bit sad because i face a body that has been in very good shape before and is now in ruins.
I know i have reached an age that i have to wait for that pain and muscles dont work in the same way as in my 20`ties.
But i found a good place to work out and trained my whole body with natural exercise out in the nature. It gives you a better experience than in a gym and make you feel more in balance.
I worked out for an hour and my body is still strong.
I found happiness and peace in this that i am still able to move and work out good.
I did not feel anything of side effects of medication and my headache is gone.
Tonight writing this i am all healthy again.
No thoughts bothers me and i am in a state called ataraxia.
It is a place where you are peaceful and happy.
Even though you have problems.
I think together with finding flow you need to find the state of ataraxia and it is by accepting that life is problems and that you by self confidence and a strong identity knows that life is hard but manage to find a zone of peace in all this by accepting that life gives you suffering.
I am in a good mood and in all my troubles i manage to get very happy.
I feel free tonight and is relaxed by the scenery.
I was not alone on the beach.
A lot of people was there to barbecue and kite surfing.
It is a friendly place.
And more loving by the picture of Benjawan hanging there,
to tell people that even if you die and leave this life, you can give life to others.
Benjawan donated 5 organs to other people so they can live healthy.
It was a life in great courage.
I walk in the life that we never knows what happens and that it is not party and fun all the time.
But by peace in you're heart and in you're mind you open up to find love everywhere.
Finding Flow and Meaning In Life
The world is a chaotic place.
There is so much to do, and so much to see.
It is always said that we shall write down our goals and follow them in a realistic way.
I have not written down my goals, because i am at a breaking point in my life.
It is how i can form a life again after hospitalization and in the treatment of psychiatric treatment in my home.
I am not pleased by this. I have to accept this treatment to stay at home. I am not so very crazy, but have lived a life in action. Even if there has been dead ends that i can not walk into my past again.
By leading my heart to horses i get in the state of flow, and get healed by nature.
Finding Flow is to do you're favorite things.
I read a book about Flow and it is of a psychologist not believing in God and i know he has did a lot of thinking around the universe and how it act in our lives.
We live on a planet with a lot of action and information.
It can be hard to find the best way for you in a world always promising that to follow desires is the best way. Desires dont give you happiness, it gives you only a quick satisfaction and then the moment is gone. The book i read about flow search happiness, but write very little about love.
Love is what turns the light on in us humans.
There is a huge variety in what love is.
You have to search the meaning of love to get into flow.
With love there comes flow.
It is found in the most simplest ways with that you go for what you love to do and the people you love. Healing is formed in persons and animals that gives you love and happiness. Then the meaning of life occurs. And find you for life.
There is always battles in our life we have to fight us self out of.
It can be done in a very easy way of letting go.
Not always put up action.
To go for a easy solution sometimes can be the best.
You dont need to climb the highest mountains in order to be the best person.
The meaning is given to you maybe just in a good coffee cup.
I have to admit that i managed one day without cigarettes.
I had to take two today to get the abstinence out of my body.
I think i have to go down on cigarettes with just to lower the amount in a while.
I have been smoking for years.
But i find happiness in quitting smoking in that i get control over my habits and i work with something that has bothered me for years.
I am on my way and am in a state of flow by being together with horses.
Go and follow you're heart and i get back to writing down goals and work with them in a good way.
Remember that i have diet down 25 kilos on medication, and that is nearly impossible.
Because the medication puts down my metabolism.
I have worked hard and is on my way to a better life.
The Smartest Horse Ever Have I Met
I went back to the horses with bread to them. They like that better than carrots.
All the horses got a piece of bread and it always gets me in a better mood.
Ryvar is the leader of the three horses and is very kind towards me.
They like the smell of me and relaxes.
I am going riding together with my son soon. He wants to learn how to ride.
It will be a good time.
I get to be myself again with horses and shaking in my body disappears when i am with horses.
It is a place in nature where i can heal with my favorite thing in life to do.
The Horse Detective
This horse is Ryvar the north land horse.
Something happened here in my house. Sometimes people move thing in my house and a chocolate was placed in my kitchen closet today without no one telling me so.
It was to lead me to a better life.
But to do this is mean to a person being deprived of thought in mental picture manipulation.
I got by God the message to go to Ryvar with the chocolate.
He smelled at the paper and was not happy.
He made strong breathing noises and gave me a warning.
He dont like the people who has held the chocolate.
He refused to eat it.
But Blondye wanted it.
I gave her the whole chocolate.
It was a chocolate ment to take with you in hiking in the mountains and walk by the seaside.
I am tired of this thing happening.
And Ryvar saied :
" Keep away from this people. "
He did not like the smell of the person touching this chocolate.
It has been stolen good books from me.
I read a lot and people want my way of life.
I am not paranoid.
This is things happening in my own home.
Ryvar is extremly kind to me and take care of me.
He was a detective today.
Horses smells better than dogs.
Trainspotters Lightning
I got a heart on twitter from these people.
It was pretty cool stuff on their homepage.
fredag 10. juni 2016
Billy Joel - The River of Dreams
I will look for a Ivory Ball not larger than a marble. I lost it as a child. It made me believe in miracles.
I got this ivory ball of the aunt of my grandfather. It was beautiful and impossible to understand.
Ed Sheeran - The A Team [Official Video]
I dared to dream for a home to all people in the world.
www.caseybrown.com.au
My Housedream Came By Voices From God - Casey Brown
The Lord above gave me a present for quit smoking by telling me about this architect.
Never give up.
Just laugh - The Lord gave me something better than i could picture about my own house.
I start saving money today and write my novels. One is with publisher.
Dare to believe.
Follow You're Heart To Heal
This is the heart i draw with wings and a halo.
You all have that when you follow you're heart and then it will not break.
Feel all you can in a positive way no matter how the world has treated you.
There is always a color to follow.
12 years old i hitchhike with a navy officer from USA and he called me a so nice name that i never forgot him. I draw him a green heart with the color purple to it. He saved my life.
I was in periodes suicidal when i was young.
Take care of you're children and draw them hearts for life.
The children you have is the most loving and precious humans you have in you're life.
They give you the true meaning of life with teaching you new things in life.
Give them you're heart.
I quit smoking for my son.
Love you !
Cold Case - Quit Smoking
I quit smoking right now.
I believed it was no use to quit and that it was impossible.
I have smoked Kent 100`s for years and i have nearly no wrinkles.
If i smoke marlborough i get smokers voice.
You dont get that of Kent.
But chose to quit. With all you're will power.
I quit now right away and take a cold case.
I am kind and for the readers in Norway call the quit smoking phone.
I understood today that i can still run good.
I run all the way to the store to buy cigarettes. I dont have low lung capacity.
I have to chose life and do it today.
I will put all my time in natural exercise and chose a good laughter.
It is possible to quit smoking and i have been an athlete before and can do it again, adjusted to a lifestyle in a more mature and natural way.
Sia - Chandelier (Official Video) - All Loneys Laugh
I think Sia means that we shall drink water - you flush it out :-)
There Is Hope For Us
What does not kill you makes you stronger.
I live a good life when i dont feel side effects of medication.
I paint and get healing from this,
and a positive attitude in life of making a creation of art.
This picture is painted to my son. To tell him that the tiger is not the most dangerous animal in the world. The Tigers stamina, strength and life and not at least beauty and grace tells you a history of Gods creation in this world. We are not only humans in this world. We have to think about this for the coming generations. If we dont act now to heal the planet earth, we will deliver chaos to the coming generation after us.
There is a book called : " Walking The Tiger ",
it is for treating traumas in people.
Mostly all mental illness is caused by trauma.
If you dont heal the trauma it is useless with medication. It will only make the patient worse. The drugs will only work to sedate the person and take away life quality.
As a nurse, doctor or other health care workers you need to interact and communicate with the patients. To really understand what really hurts. You need to be humble and kind and not competitive in you're work with humans. It takes the focus away from real healing.
Healing can be a miracle when love is in the treatment room.
Or the best thing to treat a patient. In the nature.
Walk or run in the nature to get the mind and the body to function again and get into the state of flow in you're soul.
Flow And The Meaning Of Life
I have written last year in my blogg about " Flow " - it is a mental and physical state when nothing else matters and the meaning of life is clear to you.
Time and all suffering goes away in flow, even if you have an illness or is in a place with problems.
I read now the book : " Flow " - The psychology of optimal experience.
By Mihaly Csikszenthmihalyi.
He has researched in the state of " Flow " and the meaning of life.
It means to have control over the mind and you're psychology and when you control you're emotions, thoughts and feelings, you find flow.
Horses are researched on to be the best way to reach flow.
It is also the state of mindfullness.
Yesterday i was with the horses in a very low state.
But the horses lead me into a happy time. It is my favorite sport, because i am not a looney that likes to be alone all the time.
The computer and the information world is our obstacle to handle. It is really not our best natural way to live and to reach flow. We stress our mind a lot by staying connected all the time.
My son came home yesterday and was together with me and the horses. It gave me an incredible feeling og laughter and love.
It is my meaning of life.
To reach flow you have to follow you're heart.
It is not like the author in the book about flow says that it is only a state of control.
It is to be free.
To feel free and feel that you are in shape of you're destiny and the true way in how God wanted you to live you're life.
The meaning of life occurs in every single second of you're life when you search love and happiness.
All sense of illness goes away.
I am going to study flow for a lot of years, to help people getting this state of mind and in the body to reflect over to others activities.
All in my life flowed like a miracle yesterday.
Today i am back in the side effects of medication and feel a bit down.
But anyway : Free to do what i really want in life.
It is to have a home.
And i have that now.
torsdag 9. juni 2016
Jolly Good Time
I took charge in myself and dared to go riding.
I have a neck injury that is not treated and have not good core muscles after long time of hospitalization. But i choosed to ride " Blondye ", her name is not " Blondie " and she is an veteran in life with being 25 years. I understood the horse would understand me.
She came to me freely and helped out getting the bridle on.
She walked with me and showed stamina and strength. The Fjordhorse is a though horse built for riding in Norway and the climate her.
She loved me grooming her and fell nearly asleep.
I took on the sadle and adjusted it to me.
I took her out, but then she started to get powerful. She just wanted to eat green grass and not me to ride her. It all looked very humorous.
I got in the saddle, and was not afraid.
But Blondye just wanted to eat green grass.
I managed to ride her a little while.
But she was very strict and strong towards me.
After 20 minutes i lead her back to the stable. And she relaxed. She wanted me to pet her and stroke my hands over her and she lowered her neck in relaxation. And showed that she was tired.
It is a practice in mindfullness being together with a horse that way.
And the most visdom in this is that i am not ready to ride so much yet.
I have to exercise yoga and train by walking before i can ride. I think Blondye understood this.
When i was finished giving her healing. I wanted to take her out of the stable. But she refused.
I wanted to take her in to the pastures before my son arrived. But Blondye refused. With all her strength she said clearly no to go out on the pastures. She gasped and wanted just to relax beside me. She was very kind towards me.
My son arrived and she looked up and after the sound of the car engine.
My son entered the stable and he got to se his mother happy but confused in what the horse was thinking. I nearly believed that Blondie was waiting for my son.
She greeted him gentle and chewed and licked her lips to him and said that she accepted him. And he got to pet Blondye and had a good time being together with a horse.
I went to fetch bread to Blondye inside the house, and my son held her alone.
He has not been together with horses since he was a child. But he was secure and strong.
Even if we wanted to lead her out with bread, Blondye refused.
She wanted to sleep. And gasped and relaxed.
We laughed a bit about this.
But after a while, I got back and lead her out with being a bit strict with her in my voice. Then she finally followed us to the pastures.
My son went in to the horses and Ryvar the northland horse looked like a question mark in who my son was. My son walked beside the horses.
For me it is heaven giving me this time with my son.
And that my son see me living a complete and good life with horses.
Ramona
For a little while ago " Ramona " stood like this.
All the three horses have accepted me and wants me to be together with them.
They want out and ride.
The Horses Wants To Go Out Walking
Blondie stays like this nearly all the time. She wants out walking with me.
I need a ride today and see if i have power to do it. I am very exhausted. But the horses tells me they will treat me kind.
But there is one more that wants out walking.
He is the boss and chased away Blondie.
I dont know who i will ride.
Ryvar is very kind.
I am laughing of the horses.
In Memory Of Benjawan - Kind
I Live on a farm with a beautiful view to the ocean and a fantastic beach.
I was by God lead from the beach over some rocks to a place to see the sunset and to find the pictures of Benjawan. A beautiful and kind lady that passed away so very early.
Benjawan decided to donate her organs and five people lives a healthy life because of her.
I have suffered from images in my head of mental picture manipulation and Benjawan and her picture shows me that beauty and love exists even after we are gone from this earth.
I got lead back to the place two days later and lead into the forest to find a letter with pictures from her boyfriend. He loves her so much and restored my faith in that love is always around us.
He travels the world and place out pictures in memory of Benjawan and under the project :
" Show Benjawan The World. "
By doing this he also shows me the world and got me into dreams of traveling. I would like to see some of the places pictures of Benjawan is placed.
It is the story about love and the real story is that this story about Benjawan and her boyfriend is a better story than the movie : PS I Love You.
Nobody leves us after this life. Heaven does exist. And believe in love for you all.
This man i have mailed with send me a picture of Benjawan that i can hang up on a beautiful place i used to walk every day when i studied to become a nurse.
In the loss of someone love can find us again and help us to believe in humans again.
He mailed me all the places the pictures of Benjawan is, and this brave young lady has given life with her death to five people.
Pictures are to find of Benjawan here :
Lisboa, Faro, Scheveningen, Bangkok, Chian Mai, Phuket, Sardinia, France, Switzerland, Austria, London, Tallinn, Borneo, Castle Neuschwanstein ( Germany ), Helsinki, Namibia, Brasil, Botswana, Cambodia, Vietnam, Albania, Greece, Spain, Poland, Ohio ( USA ), New York ( Central Park ), Bodhgaya ( India ), Mexico, San Francisco and Seychelles.
In the Bible it stands :
" Love is stronger than death "
This man from Germany traveling around the world and showing the love and courage in Benjawan proves that this is true.
onsdag 8. juni 2016
Horses Saves Me - She Is Kind
Blondie the Norwegian Fjord Horse has stood like this the whole day waiting for me. She really says : " Now I Am Ready For A Ride. " Horses like to be out in the nature, and can bore themselves like humans. The owners are very kind and family comes out to be together with the horses.
I walked out to Blondie and she was so kind. And it looked like she smiled, and when horses smiles i laugh. It touch my heart seeing her so kind. Because somebody needs Blondie to recover from grieve. Blondie was standing together with me, chewing and licking her lips. It means that she has accepted me and is humble and clear out that i am a leader for her.
She was gentle and talked to me on her own way. I see the horses from my living room window and now they all stand together there Blondie stood looking after me.
I am very kind and heals by horses and the images they give in my mind and it leads my body back to no shaking in the body of dystonia from medication.
I lay out also a picture i nearly captured in a smile from her.
Norway is kind and loving
I Belive
Today is a day of hope, love and trust.
Life is passion and suffering with heaven making a glimpse of themselves to you.
I have a bird nest up in the roof on the outside of the house, in the corner of my living room.
The mother birds sits and sing beautiful to me to entertain me for me giving her food, outside the window. You can believe so much about a person and wonder about so many things.
But the truth is i live a country life on four islands outside Aalesund.
The bird make me believe in communication.
How important it is and that animals can work with you to restore you're faith in love.
She cares for her children and the house is filled with birds nests.
It is an old house i live in from 1859 and carries a lot of history, and it is a christian home.
I am very kind and dont have more plans today than to hang out with a friend of mine.
Life is simple in the real world,
but we get so many impulses of the outer world that we can get confused.
To hear this bird outside my house sing to me beautiful for food for showing that she is thankful and kind towards her little family makes me believe that there is more to life then what we dont see if we dont take the time.
Sometimes the music is created by birds :-)
Ozzy Osbourne - Mama, I'm Coming Home
Somebody is coming home today - they are laughing - I am kind - and loves somebody. Feel - Stay :-)
tirsdag 7. juni 2016
The Loss Of A Dog In Memory Of " One Step Closer " Alias " Toya "
Today got a day with life and death.
I was out for a walk here in the beautiful landscapes of the calming farms and the cattle and horses here. I got to see a cow that had recently given birth to a calf, and the calf was so cute and new to life with wondering eyes.
After I came home my mom called and told me that " Toya " our ten year old Field Spaniel had passed away today of illness.
She has had cancer and could not take anymore.
She said goodbye in a silent and upgiving way.
I am very sad, but the best was to let her go.
She has been a nanny to us all, bringing joy to us and never allowed us to feel down.
She could sense when i was not well and giving me directions in what to do when i got ill. She leaded me always to my son. To have someone to talk to.
Rest in Peace Toya, we never forget you and you have been our kindest dog ever.
She was called " One Step Closer " of the song from U2.
mandag 6. juni 2016
Smile
My teeth have been destroyed of treatment in psychiatric treatment
and my dentist called me today to fix my teeth so i can smile again.
He saved me.
Kind.
Aqua - Cartoon Heroes
Here is life and i am kind and have been out walking and met people - i am laughing :-)
søndag 5. juni 2016
Am I Mad In Norway ?
There are screening tests you can take on the internett to see if you have an mental disorder.
You find it under psychcentral.com
and you find help for a lot of different mood disorders.
I took a screening test on schizophrenia and i scored very low.
I could have early signs of schizophrenia because i talk to myself. But that is a common thing to do.
From the test they could not tell if i have a diagnose or not.
They dont test that good in hospitals.
Hold on..up for more soon.
This Was My Dream Of Peace
This book gave me inspiration for many years in how i wanted to live and spend my days.
With a dog understanding me.
I am very kind and knows that the world are troubled.
I will walk like this in the fields around me, if i manage. I am so highly medicated that i can hardly walk straight.
But i can stand still.
This man James Herriot writes about veterinary and have understood that times comes with different seasons.
James Bond 007 Skyfall by Adele [OFFICIAL FULL MUSIC VIDEO]
Count backwards to relax and laugh :-) It helps calming down. From 10-0. Smile :-)
The Troll That Could Count
I am sitting in peace after visit of my mother.
I got scared because someone clicked me in the head seriously.
The doctor changed the date for injection from wedensday to earlier monday, on the date :
06.06.2016.
I am afraid i die of medication. She has also written down to much medication on pain killers. Double doze, and if i not had been a nurse and know medication it could have killed me after a while.
My mother read it and knows the doctor is not good.
I have had strawberries and vanilla sauce and coffee, and talked about this.
We want to find a doctor that take me off medication.
I am over this and with courage until tomorrow and stay kind and write a novel for children and adults. And the start goes like this :
The Troll That Could Count
Newspapers dont write about everything happening in the world. Many histories gets hidden from us. The best fairytales is the ones we create for ourselves. When somebody tells you that you can't do anything, you shall say : " I can count ! "
Math can be hard to understand, and in the world they look for the largest number in the world. The history starts here with that this is impossible to find. Without everybody sitting together and write numbers for the rest of their lives, in several generations. The worlds longest number is eternity, and here the riddle starts...
The Troll woke up and stretched himself, it had been a long day and he counted for his nerves. There is a lot of different trolls, some are kind, some are naughty but nice and some are mean.
He wanted to count his way to the sun. Because he was tired of darkness...
To Live Without Suffering Is Impossible
In the spring 2002 i got my first hospitalization.
I thought the whole world had gone mad, including me.
I was a newly educated nurse, and the most important thing ; a single mother to a son on seven years old. I was diagnosed with depression and stayed inside hospital for three weeks.
My son worried a lot for me, and was to see me nearly every day at the hospital.
We made it all a happy time for him. He got to play games with me and play in the hospitals gym.
I remember this as glory days, even though i was ill.
Good memories can come to you in suffering. It can create a whole new world, and bring you closer together with the people that loves you, and you learn to take in memories and happenings like they are sendt from heaven.
When I was signed out, me and my son took a car drive in our little red Nissan Sunny.
We used to do that a lot, and stop in a cafeteria to eat and drink.
They served my son hot chocolate especially made for him.
That day my life should change of my son. He sat in silence and wondered, as he often did. The bright blonde hair like an angel, and his healthy looks ( he is still very healthy ).
He saied to me like out of the blue :
" Mommy, it is not possible to live without passion and suffering. "
Just a simple sentence with a lot of wisdom. I took the words in my heart and never forgot them.
Today, many years later the words should save my life, with understanding the wisdom in my child.
I suffered a lot this morning. Headache of the medication, dizziness and stiff in my body.
The words got to me :
" it is not possible to live without passion and suffering. "
From a memory hidden in my heart.
I understood that i am now facing the real life.
And are now understanding more than ever, in the wisdom in my child.
My child was my wing mate during his childhood.
We worked for a better world, and still do.
I am writing childrens novels about trolls and one novel that is to understand what others do not understand.
But my son understood me, and i am not alone.
It gives me courage to fight for my life in a peaceful way.
You dont need to be 100 % all the time to be loved.
In a glimpse of understanding, that in all my suffering words from heaven in life found me again.
Willing to walk on.
lørdag 4. juni 2016
Mystery Of Heaven
I found a picture of a very beautiful young lady, that sorrowly for the world passed away last year.
The picture is from her beloved husband and they are from Germany.
I researched a litle in this and misunderstood some of the language.
And the misunderstanding lead me to a mineral called Sodium.
It can cause high blood pressure, and my mother is saved by me finding this picture.
I study high blood pressure and i was so calm in a medical unit, that i never took a high blood pressure. I always took it three times by my own intuition.
Now I am saving the life of a man that was here.
I will write about this in a novel,
and the woman i found will never be forgotten.
Mystery
Last evening i went for a walk to the beach.
Here is extremely beautiful.
I got lead to the forest beside the sea, and found a picture of a woman that passed away last year.
It was in memory of her, from a man that loved her with all his heart.
The pictures are from Germany.
I got worried for a lot of things, and took the picture with me and called the Police.
fredag 3. juni 2016
A Tribute To Some Of My Loved Ones
I give the heroes one of their good songs
Garth Brooks
Unanswered Prayers :
Gillette, The best a man can get
The Secret is that one woman understands this - the razor is better than the ones for woman, and the truth is - i lost the blogg Emmy Secrets to someone else some years ago and it was for women to tell that i have worked in a women's shop and know the secrets, but honestly dont care so much anymore. Someone loves me ugly and that is the best love of all :-) Enjoy you're laughter :-)
Welcome to Toulouse: The Student Guide
I Know Something - shaken, not stirred - and enjoy you're laugher life burns faster, i sing that to Master of The Puppets by Metallica - love them all, also the fifth member need you all - skylove - enjoy everything.
Imagination
You can capture the world
with a single thought
of love
knowing that you're spirit is a free soul
You're mind can trick you to believe
in something about yourself
that has to be layed to rest.
Keep you're mind in practice with dreams.
Knowing that you can do so much more
by letting you're past go
and let love overflow.
In you're imagination you can be
the free spirit never giving up
what other people dont see.
In you're dreams you are found
in Gods love to see
that the world takes a closer look
to find the way to yourself
that all you're imagination
can be start of a life in creation.
Plenuardis
Something is wrong and I needed a new thought.
Life and thoughts can be found in looking at the world from a different angle.
I was to the doctor today and he said : " You go crazy without medication. "
The truth is that i dont go crazy.
They have never treated me without medication since 2004 to 2006. It went good.
The doctor said also that i had to wait for answer on the MR pictures from Barcelona.
I am afraid i have a litle stroke in my head. I have pain all the time.
The doctor said : " There is not much to do with it and you can end up like a vegetable if surgery is needed and you're only choice is if you want the straw from drinks on left or right side. "
I wondered if he was crazy and scared the shit out of patients.
My brother was with me and reacted also.
I got from the doctor help to my neck pains and is going to treatment for this.
It has been a sunny day, and my brother and me had dinner outside and at home with me we had strawberries and vanilla sauce.
I am very kind and know that the doctors dont communicate well with patients.
There was nothing to do with my medication.
I am helpless, but dont give up easily.
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