lørdag 31. desember 2016
The Norwegian Kings New Year Speech (?)
I am thankful over still being alive after being through torture in Norway.
I was from 2012 to 2015 isolated for these years without communication to the outer world.
I did not get information about the outer world and was refused to read papers and magazines.
Even the Bible was taken away from me at one incident of shielding.
It is against the law and i suffer from post traumatic depression after the treatment.
I have been under forced treatment for 5 years and i do not think it is legal when a person is kind.
It went so far in shielding that health care workers talked to me about personal problems and what to do in life.
Is the patient so very ill when this paradox occurs in the treatment.
I also was threatened by one doctor to stop blogging.
He wanted to keep my free voice off the line.
I have never been a threat against my country or against persons.
I only tell the truth.
I have lost all my social network and understand that there are few people being true in friendship.
They create fictional stories to protect they're own integrity and trustworthy behavior.
I have experienced mental picture manipulation.
Last time in an psychiatric open institution.
I chose to leave the institution after a day.
The media does not cover the story i have and it is not fame seeking or attention.
But to show how they can ruin a nurse and a single mom that understand a lot.
Today i watched the King of Norways new year speech.
He talked so much about granting people they're wishes from a wishing tree they have had in the norwegian castle park. He wanted to grant the wish for a free life to all citizens.
It was a lie.
People are being treated so bad in the psychiatric treatment and hospitalization that it takes life.
Norway is Europe`s worse country to be under forced treatment in.
Norway has had several complains from The Europe Council.
They have been put under the question on why and to give people human and professional treatment.
I have been controlled to suicidal thoughts and behavior.
I have written to the King for help and treatment for PTSD after isolation.
I have filed my novels about my treatment and personal journey through the mental institution landscape and treatment.
My conclusion is that people seldom give they're best at work.
The dialoges in the units is mostly between health care workers about they're own interests and very little communicative towards the patients.
I have been sitting in silence for a long time hospitalized without communication.
Subjective language and ways of communication should be heard by the people working in the units.
Observation in behavior dont give you the right picture because people are not mind readers.
I am ruined mentally and physically after these 5 years.
I need treatment for the treatment.
The Kings Speech was not related to the truth about Norway.
A gouvernent attorney did not help me in court.
She was against me.
The doctor lied and was aggressive and it lead me to a suicidal attempt.
It should be illegal to put patients through this during hospitalization.
Norway is not a country where you can start over new with a new day to hold in faith that things can change if you have been under forced treatment.
They used all against me.
A doctor from Hungary gave me 10 months in security unit with high medication of writing that i looked for my son in my suitcase.
The reality was that i was well and looked for a picture in a frame taken of my son by the time i gave birth to him.
I did not understand this before i read my journal months afterwards.
The doctor should have been given prison for writing this about me.
She did not understand the language and held back information i gave her about ideas i work with.
I have had so hard times that it is a miracle that i live.
The King is informed about my case and i have also called the castle to get help.
But i got refused in an aggressive way by the woman taking the phone.
I take out case against the state of Norway for controlling me to suicidal behavior, suicide attempt and ruin my physical health.
The police is informed with that i have sendt them my novels in what is really going on.
My journal was taken away from me by law, that there is danger for my life if i read the journal.
If doctors and health care workers write a journal that is a threat against a patients life the law has been broken.
I plan to give out my novels and my journal as a book.
The journal will be commented by me in what is the reality.
When Russia attached Ukraina i got a panic attack.
The doctor wrote then that i thought i could control the world.
It is a lie and pure fiction in the imagination of a person that do not manage to communicate with patients. I have never believed i can control anything.
No lawyer help me.
They refuse to take the case and the one i had with last time did not do a good job.
The King of Norway does not understand the real picture of Norway.
You dont see the ground and the realism before they make you crawl.
I am always thinking new thoughts and is not paranoid schizophrenic.
If i had been i had reacted very bad on an overdose of medication given by a nurse.
I should have 5 mg Abilify because i already was on heavy medication.
She gave me 25 mg Abilify.
I nearly died.
My blood pressure went down to 64/43
and it probably was lower.
I heard a voice from God in what to do for surviving.
I have never done anything so destructive as this nurse.
I wonder why i am under treatment and why they dont talk to me.
I have no psychologist to talk to.
I need to understand and forgive.
It is really a murder case against the health system.
5 years on forced treatment.
Stolen freedom.
Torture.
Threats from Doctors.
Lying and fictional thinking in doctors.
I need help from a good human right attorney.
I know the reality for the people under forced treatment.
It is not human.
A 20 year old innocent boy was sent to 3 months isolation and controlled treatment.
He did not have the health to it after having had three heart attacks.
He was without examination from medical unit and had no heart medication.
He was sad because he did not want to have his last time in life under psychiatric treatment.
I pray for the patients of Norway.
The council that shall help patients through rough and wrong cases do not want to help me.
I go into a new year very sad about the state Norway are in with forced treatment and isolation.
Isolation is very dangerous for peoples minds.
There are a law that it only shall be held for 24 hours because of the danger.
With me it was 3 years.
I am a big question but know that there are people helping out.
But it is hard to forgive meaningless and harmfull treatment.
I hope someone understand what is going on and give us that suffer a lot a way of hope and a road to a free life.
I live in a small sparkle of spirit and hope for this to come through.
Freedom to all people and a way to start over new.
It is a human right to have
Right to life.
Norway has not given me this.
Nanopersonality
When you dont find the answers from the people you are closest to, you start to seek.
" Seek and You Shall Find. "
I found www.theschooloflife.com.
It is a web place that teach you what you dont learned in school.
Life teach you the right way to walk.
I understood Michael Jackson for several of years ago.
" Bad " means " Bath " in norwegian.
People tend to use different object relation theory for what they are.
The crucial thing is why should we need to show the world who we are all the time.
But you can come into a place you have to show the real you.
I found out that i am a nano personality.
Probably the first one in the world to have it.
I place my ego behind to fulfill other peoples dreams and pursuit of happiness in life.
I have to live with the term ego to make the personality understandable.
The true thing is that i dont need much in life to feel happiness and i give away a lot of domains on twitter to help others to get into a business plan for life.
Nanopersonalities want to save the world.
This means i sell all my material stuff and give the money i rise to UNICEF.
I have to get into a eco plan of living
and find my way
knowing that i am small in my personality.
Famous people can be examined by the country they live in and they're true purpose in life.
Robbie Williams show this in the song " Feel. "
Rihanna in the song " Stay. "
You can find out that there is a communication between different artists and it is exploring to understand.
I will not write about this much now.
But will come back to object relation theory.
Maybe all the pain you are going through is just to make you ready for a better road in life.
Soul Identity System
Everyday i face problems, and know i face a new year.
2016 has been hard with a lot of hospitalization of suicidal thoughts.
But i live still.
And want others also to live and reach they're potential.
I guess i am going through the state of mind of being an adult and the transformation of the mind to face another periode in my life.
When you grow up many things can be easy and without problems.
But the problems in life and struggle will find you.
The meaning of it all is experience and i am finding my way through the problems, experiences and the way of communication with people evolve.
I wrote my own nursing plan for the psychiatric team to follow.
It is a basal simple plan with realistic and easy goals to follow.
But the true thing is that they dont manage to follow the plan and do not work well with me.
I thought i would come out of forced treatment in court by this.
But i did not.
The power other people can get over a person and a human scares me.
I show highly qualified proffesjonalisty in writing my own nursing plan and skills to organize me.
The sense of a self you need to have to make it through in life.
If people diagnose you, and it dont feel right, you can organize yourself to show them that you are kind and loving and have skills that can be developed and polished to a true talent.
I make it through with working on my goals alone.
It also have the goal of writing a novel.
About the power of love in a best friend.
Soul Identity System i write about to get people to organize well.
The ego and you're illness can be measured in the way you organize yourself and you're feelings.
It is that we have more than a ego.
We have a soul that always reach after something higher, even if it is not the entire world.
I dont want much in life.
But i find meaning in helping other people in finding experience and meaning in problems and suffering.
And find a way to develop an identity that holds out the life and what other people might do to you.
To develop a clear identity you do with following you're best emotions and feeling of love.
It gets you in a state when you dont copy other peoples material things or they're set of thinking.
You think alone and stay always true to yourself.
You will also begin to laugh with knowing that you are in control over you're life no matter what you face in life. You see the humor in situations and feel a lot of empathy.
It is the way to become a healthy human.
A healthy human feel empathy and care for others.
This is the reason why i write my blogg.
To help others suffering and trying to find meaning in the meaningless.
Life gives you questions to find a solution on.
You grow older and with that experience comes.
What i have experienced is that there is more care and empathy in fellow patients than in health care workers in the psychiatric field.
The madness in people i am not afraid of.
It is a reason and with being seen and listen to even the most complicated life problems can go away.
There is hope for us all.
I start this year on studying a MBA in Psychology to find out what i can do to be my own teacher in life.
People tend to say :
" When the time is in the master will occur. "
But be you're own teacher.
Dont wait.
There are so many possibilities for you that can give you a new direction in life.
It is never to late.
Happy New Year.
Love and Feel.
Hope is created in love and when you have hope you have the way to reach you're full potential.
Hold on.
tirsdag 27. desember 2016
mandag 26. desember 2016
torsdag 22. desember 2016
søndag 4. desember 2016
Someone Does Something
I can't take anymore.
I was just hospitalized for one and a half week because of suicidal thoughts.
I got overdose medication the last time i was there and was scared and alerted, i nearly died. I had blood pressure 64/43 and racing heart. I nearly fainted out.
The same nurse came on duty and said that the doctor was to blame.
I said that the doctor blames her. She said : dont do anything with this.
But on the evening medication, she came with overdose anti depressive.
I reacted strongly and dont trust nurses or doctors at the unit.
Nobody apologized the happening and just talked it away.
It was the same nurse.
Overdose medication in the way the nurse did it, it can be looked on as the same as if the police shoots someone.
I am afraid.
Somebody Kills Me
I die soon of peoples mental state.
I suffer from suicidal thoughts of all i have been through in life.
My fiancée i had from 1990-1999 and he is educated as a nurse killed me sexually and scared me so much with what he did that i dont dare to be together with a man.
The health care system dont give me a psychologist and only medicates me.
My ex fiancee made love to me in the end of the relationship.
He had already gotten a new lady but wanted me back.
He just fucked me and went out of bed with me lying in tears of what he did and he said :
" Now I Am Done With You. "
And threw me away. I was not done with the love making.
I reacted with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and the way people react after a rape.
I sat in the shower for a long time every day after this for over two weeks and cried.
I can't write anymore.
But people has fooled the world and manipulated me to wanting to die.
He is not kind towards me.
Soon I die of all happening.
Nobody helps me.
tirsdag 22. november 2016
Now I Understand
Have meeting today about my case and the right to live.
Somebody has not granted me the right to live free.
I understand the army in Norway has done me something.
mandag 21. november 2016
tirsdag 15. november 2016
I Know Something
I know i am stalked.
I have had some bright ideas and it has concerned not by my will, but high up in the system.
I googled myself and the map to show where i am located.
It showed up with a firm and earlier it has showed up with another firm.
I know it is possible to hack a mobile phone and i have been in trouble not getting the help i should have gotten.
I am on anti depressive and it works very good.
I recommend people suffering from depression to take prescribed drugs from doctor.
Sometimes medication is needed, and i asked for it myself.
It lightened my day and i am myself again.
I have been today and looked on an apartment to rent.
It was very kind people and a good place to live.
I hope i get the apartment.
I have innovative ideas and know they are good and working.
Do not give up on yourself no matter what state you are in.
Life can change and sometimes change post code.
New places can bring you new life.
I have a very kind mission to the place i move to.
To feel home and secure and have place for my son when he is home on vacation.
New possibilities lies in front of me to get a social life and it got me to discover reality that i am not alone suffering.
torsdag 10. november 2016
onsdag 9. november 2016
A New Day
I have been struggling a lot lately, the honest truth is that i have struggled for over two years with a post traumatic depression of all i have been through.
I have been suicidal and had very low energy.
I asked the doctor after a very hard time,
Actually my life`s hardest time.
I have never suffered so much and wanted to leave all behind.
It has been a game, and i asked the doctor for anti depressive medication.
I got it after some weeks waiting.
It is the drug " Remeron " and it works like magic on me.
It has just been a few days and i feel a lot better.
Tonight i am all me again.
I have needed help for the housework, but now i manage it on my own.
I have tidied up the whole house and had a great time with the kittens.
I got also interested in clothing again and bought some clothes online.
I have a good time.
lørdag 5. november 2016
fredag 4. november 2016
torsdag 3. november 2016
I Found Ted
Ted disappeared when i was hospitalized. We thought a eagle had taken him and i have been in grieve over that my kindest cat ever has been gone.
Yesterday i heard a voice : " Go to the barn and find Ted ".
I went there right away and heard him crying in anxiety.
I found him in an open dropping pit.
He was in terrible shape.
The owner of the farm helped me to get him up from the dropping pit with a ladder.
I was so relieved and happy, but cried for Ted being in so bad shape.
He was kind the whole time and cosy and happy with me and also the psychiatric team coming here to look after me.
I called the vet and they wanted to take him in today.
But as the evening went on i could not manage to bath him and he had lost fur on his legs standing in water for nearly 14 days.
I went to a vet that has opening times in the evenings.
She saw how terrible shape he was and is not sure if he will make it through.
But she sendt him home with me after examining him and given him a bath.
We got antibiotics and special diet food for him.
I have cared for him and given him food and slept beside him.
Ted is extremly kind and makes cosy notices and wants to stay beside me all the time.
Somebody had heard him without doing anything.
The vet said : " This is a fighter, he wants to live, so we let him. "
onsdag 2. november 2016
When Heroes Are Not Heroes
I was born on a little island connected to three other islands.
Here i have lived my life in joy and peace.
I have not done much out of my life, except educating me as a nurse.
I worked for some years and saw that the health care money did not provide enough to give the best care possible and i got into a depression. I got hospitalized in the psychiatric field and had to go out of work after a while.
I spent my time being a mother, and that was what i loved the most.
You are often good at what you love the most.
I have lived peacefully and have not interfered with many people the last years.
Until 2012.
My son was then a grown up and i got into hospitalization and got very bad treatment.
Isolation for nearly three years.
I still wonder why ?
Something happen to you after three years without connection to the outer world.
My father died last year, and my grandma in January this year.
I walk the cemeteries and get in grieve over people i know being gone away without me knowing. It is like small shocks i have to except fast and lay away, to survive.
I am in a post depression after all i have been through.
You grow up and experience heroes in many fields of the system.
Helth Care, Police and The Army.
Also the King and the Government.
And finds out...
that they are not heroes.
The true heroes is the once suffering beside you.
Patients that are in problems that still has something to give, and save you're life.
There is a way people revile themselves in though times.
My strength is that i love still.
I feel love.
For my son, my cat, my bird and the horses.
And also patients that suffers beyond the knowledge known to the common man or King.
You grow up with a believe that the system will save you.
To a better life.
The truth is something different.
I slowly die of medication that i dont can take of severe side effects.
I have been an athlete and can now hardly walk to the beach where i live.
But people do show up and become heroes.
People you neve thought had the courage to be a hero.
The family renting me a farm are heroes.
They tell me about reality.
But they it is not in they`re hands to save me out of the system.
But they show me courage and the will to go on.
When the ones you have looked on as heroes breaks you down,
and it cost the society more money than what i had earned as a nurse.
Why they keep me down i dont know ?
I ask that question all the time.
Dreams within dreams is that i wanted to work with IT and computing and owned a lot of good domains and had innovative ideas.
They could have been something.
But it is not the most important thing.
It is my son.
And the patients.
I have written a novel about making it through and make the best out of what you have.
Even though it is not much.
But it is possible to live even in great suffering.
You show who you are...
I showed myself in getting an overdose medication that nearly killed me.
I did not get mad.
I reacted not normal i think, but with kindness and understanding, but with suspicion, because something happened before i got the overdose.
Also my neck is ruined and it is in bad shape.
I got the form from the doctor yesterday. It has been hidden for over a year.
I can probably not ride more in my life.
It has costed over 50 million Norwegian Krone to get me into a bad health and poverty.
It has costed more treating me than what i would have earned as a professional nurse.
I am in a mental game. Where people play without no reason in what they are doing.
I know for what.
But can't write it here.
I write it in the book.
I hope to live for some more years.
I am innocent in what has happened.
The truth start to revile itself.
I Love All And Is Very Kind Handling It All
Phone Call from someone connected to the army.
I read all the epikrise i got from the doctor today.
My neck is in severe condition and is nearly ruined.
I read it on the phone.
And the one i was talking to mentioned a nurse that has copied me and a lot more.
I did not mention her and understand that she does something.
Police should have saved me.
I can't take so much more and understand they have ruined my life.
Mental tricks and manipulation.
Someone is on the phone.
Please be with me in all this happening.
God Bless You.
Buster Saves My Life
I had meeting today with a treatment team.
The doctor was with them to discuss my medication.
Buster was together with me the whole time.
He has been the most afraid and paranoid kitten i have ever seen.
But he was brave and sat together with me the whole time.
Buster is kind.
He is called Buster so no one shall be afraid of ghostbuster.
There was discussion with the doctor about my medication and Buster lay in my arms and was peaceful and loved me.
The doctor realized that i am not agitated when i am upset and that the cat is not scared of me upset and a little bit angry.
The humour in this is that the cat is not afraid of anything.
I get hospitalized next week to get care when i start up on anti depressive medication and go down on neuroleptic.
Buster saved me and is the safest cat.
Cats are angels.
Safe and tired.
But hold on with Buster saving my life to new possibilities.
It was discussed further education of me with the doctor with hope.
tirsdag 1. november 2016
Something Has Happened And I am Still Here
Somebody knows that i am in danger.
I got overdose medication on the hospital starting on a new medication.
I am on depot injection with Trilafon and was given by a nurse 25 mg Abilify.
I reacted to that. And had not been given information about how many mg i should take by the doctor.
I saied : " Are you sure this is the right dose ? "
She said : " Yes, it is 25 mg, one tablett 10 mg and one tablett 15 mg. "
I took the dose and had witness in my mother that i took this dose, she was there.
I got very sedated and went early to bed.
I woke up 06:00 and went to get water, i was very thirsty.
I got blood pressure fall. And heard a voice from God to sit down and bend my head in front.
I did so and asked the nurses to measure my blood pressure.
It was 63/43.
I nearly died. It was probably lower at the instant of the first blood pressure fall.
I got home.
Tired and sedated by medication.
I was in meeting with the whole team treating me and the doctor did not reduce the dose trilafon witch make me suicidal of tiredness and a lot of side effects.
I got injection yesterday and i could hardly breathe in the evening.
I realize that i am very strong. But have not much more forces to go on.
It is depriving and hazard treatment of a kind human being.
I proved that i am not paranoid schizophrenic of the reaction on the overdose.
I reacted kind and peaceful, but was strict that a report had to be filed.
I have been for years playing tricks on and mental picture manipulation.
This also include that i got a meat sausage from someone to breakfast.
I got suicidal of the games and the tricks people play.
I am kind and has for years understood a lot.
I have been isolated for several years without communication to the outer world and given a lot of medication. In a medical research by medical students, i had 38 in rest pulse of medication.
It is a miracle that i am still alive.
I dont know how long more i will live.
I have reported to the police because nobody helps me fast enough. I have suffered for years.
They dont do anything and human rights have been broken in the health care system.
I should by the law have by nurses written individual nursing plan.
Nobody managed to do this and i wrote it myself.
But the thing is that they dont follow this up good enough.
My neck is injured by a head grip, that is illegal for some years ago.
They have been holding back information to me about the MR scan and also from my community doctor.
It is a seriously case and i am a nurse and have been very healthy and a strong loving mother.
I proved that i am kind by the overdose and things i have done for patients hospitalized.
I got home and got into a strict talk with someone about competitive behavior against me.
The person left my house while i sat in my living room.
My keys got away.
I knew i put them on the kitchen table.
They always lies there, because i have La Tour Eiffel on the keyring.
I am scared someone locks them into my house while i am sleeping.
I called someone today and there came up a message :
" The limit has gone to far. "
It could just be something that i dont understand in the digital world. I am not sure.
I did not got a phone call back from the person i called to.
I am in danger and know that little people help me.
I probably die soon of the treatment and all the tricks and manipulation.
Someone has reviewed that they play games with hiding cigarette packs in my flower jars.
It probably was ment kind. But i understand they know tricks.
Sleep well.
I have written a novel for holding on to God and survive for people in the psychiatric treatment.
There is a life for all of us.
You can follow me on Twitter : " Mentallitopia ".
There i try to take all with humor.
But i suffer a lot and have very little forces left and is not safe in Norway by all they have told about me.
I have been away for years and live very peaceful at a farm and has not talked to many people.
I understand by meeting friends from the past that they dont look me in the eyes.
I am kind and dont play games.
I try to tell a story of hope.
And fought a fight for people being suicidal.
May God bless you and be with you.
With all my love to a happy life to all mankind.
onsdag 26. oktober 2016
Somebody Knows
I will never hospitalize me again of baboolizing.
Its a word for tricks.
The mental game in the world and in different gangs will ruin people.
I am kind and suffer a lot of medication overdose and was hospitalized from Friday until today.
There were mix of people.
Some being kind and some being tricks.
To play games with patients is not ethical codex.
The nursing given shall be the best a human is capable to give. In order of the ethics in nursing.
The nursing shall be given after the best profesjonality.
I got a good doctor that listens to me. He wants to take away the diagnose i got.
I have suffered a lot and rumors has been going in a small society of me being paranoid schizophrenic. I get now a second opinion and the honest truth is that i am bipolar. I am kind and worry a lot today of something going on in the small community for the children.
I move from the farm and to a city life to try that.
I love the city Aalesund and will be safer there.
I am in ruins in my body of hospitalization and suffer also for the patients because of the lack of work therapy and exercise. I feel a lot of love and empty towards the patients. I have been away from my blogg for a while because of suicidal thought. It was nothing to write about.
I am over this now. But suffers from side effects of the medication.
It is discussed between the doctors to give me medical free treatment. It is a treatment program that i have never had before.
The thing happening to me is that the doctor was kind and wanted to give med new medication. I got a medication that should give me more energy and lift me up.
But i wonder, why can't original people only be original.
Life is to short to be someone else that yourself.
I got new medication from a nurse and i should start with a small dose because i have medication in my body. I did not get information from the doctor on how many milligrams i should get.
In the evening the nurse gave me 25 mg of medication.
I got very worried and very sedated.
I was scared i was going to die.
I felt the presence of Jesus when i went to bed.
I woke up at 06:00 in the morning and should fetch me water because i got very thirsty.
I got a blood pressure fall and nearly fainted. I could not see straight and got sweaty in my face and my heart beaten over some beats. The blood pressure was measured and it was 64/43 and that is dangerously low.
I suffer from this and do not trust the nurses at the hospital, but i trust the doctor i have that was honest with me and confirmed that it was discovered and signed that i got overdose.
It scares me a lot that there are not double security control in giving medication.
I have contacted certain people to avoid this to ever happen to a patient.
I am back home with only Buster. Teddy i dont find. Buster make sounds in grieve over that his brother are not here. I am sorry myself of the cosy cat not being here and i have looked for him several times this afternoon.
To all people suffering. I have written to somebody to make a computer to the patient and also health care workers to protect and give the patients the opportunity to write they`re own journal and set theire own goal and treat them to basal care that can direct them to optimal health and recovery.
The health care system needs to get a better control.
I nearly died but hear a voice from God that i should sit down and lean forwards and sit still and ask the nurses for help.
There is hope and recovery to all, but it is a hard world we live in and we must find our peace zone.
I move soon to the city and will be protected there better.
I look forward to that and the city is the most beautiful in Norway.
onsdag 5. oktober 2016
In Memory Of The Flat Coated Retriever " Jaro "
He was kind.
I am not feeling good today,
but memories remain.
Jaro was loved.
søndag 2. oktober 2016
How To Recover From Mental Ilness - All diagnosis
I can put a face of diagnosis.
I have had eight diagnosis since the spring 2002.
From anxiety, depression, re-active psychosis. PTSD, Bipolar and some more.
I am educated as a nurse and many of my reaction has bee normal.
I am a person that is social and like to be together with people.
But i have been treated very bad with three years of isolation.
I suffer now with post traumatic depression of the treatment i have been given.
The case i want to take up now is not me.
But how a mentally ill patients shall be treated.
The key is the health care workers and the family.
You need to know yourself as a health care worker and not use the psychiatric units to promote yourself. It is not a place for ego boosting by working with patients that are strong and though.
Some people find a kick in working with this group of patients.
But the patients suffer and do not talk so much because of the psychosis in the health care system on for the most holding on to only symptoms of illness.
It is written badly in the journals with many patients.
It should be worked in a way that gives love to the patients.
Only that way you will grow to a better human.
Nobody grows to a better human with only bad things happening around them
A worker in the psychic health field must be clear, secure and not a beauty queen or a beauty king.
It is seen on in the patients as narcissism.
Patients do understand quite a lot on what is going on.
Loving and therapeutical dialog must be the key factor in creating a dialog with the patient that is based on trust.
It is possible to heal all mental illness on a periode of very short time.
Three moths can change a person to a better person with the right attitude from the health care workers.
It has to be given medication, but in a very low dose.
I believe that if psychiatric institution could smile more. The patients will relax and start to take healthy choices and have a good time.
It is important to see the patients as a unique individual with her own hopes and dreams.
And nobody is entitle to treat someone crazy for a dream.
I own a lot of good domains and is treated as a crazy person because of this.
I have also innovating ideas that are good and it is treated as grandiose thoughts.
It is not much more thoughts that are real to me, on the same level as a student wanting to become a doctor.
There need to be work therapy and training and a day rhythm that is fun and give the patients work.
At one of my last hospitalizations i sat so much that my but started to hurt.
People is People and we are all the same in knowing what kindness are.
To hurt people when they are at the weakest in the health system i look upon as a crime because it can create hopelessness in patients and drive them to suicidal thoughts.
It needs to be an active dynamic treatment with positivity that awakens the dreams in the patients and a spirit and a sense of life that makes them glow and shine.
It needs to be taken in coaches in the psychiatric health filed and there is a lot of people that has recovered. Is it possible for them, than it is possible for others.
TLC
Tender Loving Care is the key
and always smile to them and reflect over to them that you are presence in they're life for caring for them and giving them they're life back.
With me they stole my will of life and meaning in hurting me.
But i am back and reflects a lot over how fast animals can recover from anxiety and paranoia.
There is a key for all humans :
Love, smile, peace and care
with workers that put aside they're ego and work for the patients with service minded attitude.
The patients has suffered so much that they deserve they're dreams and the best.
Never take away hope, because that can be the only thing the patients has.
Good luck :-)
Buster Is Now The Safest And Strongest Cat, all anxiety can heal
Buster is here and have no fear.
All anxiety and paranoia can be cured.
As in animals as in humans.
It is more loving and a therapeythicall voice.
I dont get all the words right in english.
Buster was so scared i had never seen a cat been before.
After weeks with trust work he has become the strongest and most tame cat.
He likes so much me touching him and pet him.
He lies in my arms and sleeps.
At nighttime he finds the most cosy state of mind of the day and lie in my bed and makes noises together with his brother Teddy.
There is a little bit jealousy between the cats me petting them.
Teddy gets often jealous and i have to share my time with them equal.
Here is a lot of fuss and fun with the cats playing around.
I have seen animals cure from all mental illness, even also a schizophrenic horse.
The horse was mentally very ruined.
But became my best horse ever.
All trust work with animals can be used with humans.
Because everybody understand pure goodness.
It should not take years to treat someone,
but only a couple of months to get better.
But that can't be done as long as the doctors write bad stuff about the patients and not theire good sides.
I understand what the psychiatric field can be opened up with trust and care.
Not only looking for the bad parts.
The resources being strengthened with good and therapeutic voice and care and happy surprises makes animals respond with trust.
On me in my case they worked with that i should have nothing.
It is against the law.
I understand how to treat bought humans and animals and it is possible ro restore to a better person or animal only in a few months.
Buster was a hard nut,
but became the best out of it.
He is secure, make clear choices and is brave outside.
Teddy is more gentle and wants to stay inside with me.
lørdag 1. oktober 2016
fredag 30. september 2016
Sleep Well
Life can be hard.
I have suffered for years because of something i dont understand.
People can spread rumors on different background
and it all runs out often in jealousy.
I start to understand who has done things towards me.
And there is no forgiveness in ruining other people lives.
I have been through 3 years of isolation and it has been torture.
I write a novel on my own on all the things happening and it is a biography to make people understand how hard it can be to suffer mentally
and that the system can create diagnosis.
I have had a lazy day today and slept a lot.
The cats has been playing outside and are in for the night now.
The hard facts are hard to meet, when you have been kind all you're life.
But money and fame can drive people to crazy behavior.
I still say :
" Dont show me the money, show me the man. "
It has costed over 50 million norwegian krone to ruin my life.
They could have given me the money so i could have started a farm with therapy for people suffering from mental illness.
torsdag 29. september 2016
Now I Am Happy I Dont Have Money
I think the world will ask a question soon :
" How much money does war cost ? "
There is terribly fights going on and children dies and it is horrible.
I got extremely depressed after reading the news.
Why war ?
There is so much to be said about it.
But why dont people see the clear way through and work for peace.
It has already gotten to far.
The world for me is a loving place with humanity.
Children write to the president in USA for peace and taking care of children.
It breaks my heart that the world dont follow the children.
They are our future and we need to find a way soon to peace.
I would have given my life for this.
I dont have much but i live a high quality life compared to people in war, hunger and refugees.
I ask the world why war ?
There should be enough people to care about peace and given peacekeeping missions to get the wars to end.
I found out that people with money often get to be liked a lot
but
why ?
They dont give enough to give world peace and equal living standards to the world.
I dont say that rich people should not have money.
But i wonder how they think when they use hundreds and maybe thousands of usd. just to get something good to drink. People dont have water some places in the world.
I wonder so much tonight about what is really going on in the world ?
I wish so hard for world peace and a happy planet for all of us.
People need to start to give away money and i think the most willing to give is people who has felt poverty themselves.
I wish so hard for peace, but it is not much i can do.
But what about the leaders in the world ?
If they only hang out with rich people and dont see the poverty and the social classes as one i dont want to believe the leaders of today.
Who will end war ?
Who has a heart big enough to give money away so that people can be saved over the whole world ?
I think the world has gone mad when women take up a loan to buy a bag.
We need to think globally and for the sake of our children.
We need to act now !!!
There is nobody to loose.
I cry for all the people at war and in war that serve they're mission.
But i believe when they have been there they all want home.
We need to create a planet that make a home for all of us.
We need it now.
I ask for the people to show humanity and kindness with helping out all the victims.
I hope you start today to think over the question :
" Why war when it is really easy to make peace ? "
It is the people with the right communication that can create world peace and end wars.
With love to you all.
I ask you to think over this.
And
Give away as much as you can.
Lets end poverty and make world peace together.
onsdag 28. september 2016
The Man Saving My Next Birthday
Is someone i care a lot about and have read nearly all his books.
It is
His new novel will be released at
September 26. 2017.
I really have problems with waiting upon that day.
Presence Of A New Day
When reality kick in it can bite you hard.
I have had a hard time the last time but overcome of help from known and unknown people.
Life is a mystery and i believe depression can be a source to great wisdom.
It is researched on that people reaching the age of 100 years old often has suffered from a severe depression and learned from the situation they have been in.
The true meaning of live occur when you see how little that can help.
Small gestures of love can reach you deep in the heart.
I have had a cosy night today, i have reviled a mystery and can't tell so much about that yet.
But someone saved my birthday for the next year.
I have something very exiting to look forward to.
I bought a bottle of wine and have been celebrating that hard times and the meaningless of life can come back with help from others.
Dare to ask for help.
We are 8 billion people on this planet and it should tell us that we are not created for being alone.
I have also gotten asked for if i want to work at a care center.
I look forward to that, but i am very tired of medication so i am not sure how it goes.
But i will give it a try.
Life can change for the better fast if you only hold on.
Suffering can give meaning that you can help others when you have lived through it.
It is help for all and dare to ask for help.
I have had a great evening and have a cosy state of mind.
Live you're life the way you want it and remember at hard times to lower you're goals so you make it through.
There can be created understanding and forgiveness in good talks.
Hidalgo trailer
Hold on to everything and ask for help when you have problems mentally.
After one week i am back in life and have gotten a little job at a carecenter.
mandag 26. september 2016
fredag 23. september 2016
I Have Had A Kind Day
I have had a kind day.
Hard times can be start of something new.
Small goals can keep you alive with lowering every step you go.
It is allowed to only be you.
I have had visitors today that gave me a very cosy time and left me with the presence of that they are still here with me. Always in my heart people and animals saving my life is forever.
I have done housework today and washed clothes and cleaned the floor.
I got a boukey ( i dont know the word ) with roses.
They are shattered in pink and off white.
I look at the small miracles in life and knows that the planet can be so beautiful that you think heaven is down here.
Buster is so safe and has started to play with me.
He is very though.
Teddy is kind and gentle and sleeps for the most.
Bought cats love music and Buster talks.
torsdag 22. september 2016
tirsdag 20. september 2016
mandag 19. september 2016
søndag 18. september 2016
Norwegian Poem : " Å Være Til "
I den verden som er i dag
finnes det kriger, sult og terror.
Jeg var redd.
Så redd alt som kunne skje.
Jeg kjempet for fremtiden til barna.
Lite skulle jeg ane om makt,
den som piner deg til dine innerste redsler.
Til Gud griper inn og leder deg
med faste steg i nytt håp.
Som former din veg og lar deg hvile
i
skyggene.
Du venter tålmodig på nytt liv.
Slik som bare du kan,
og du vet du kan tåle alt i de tre ordene :
" Jeg elsker deg. "
Da våkner dine sanser på ny
og ungdommen finner deg igjen.
I pusten fra havet.
I pusten fra himmelen.
Der du ser dine linjer blir tegnet,
selv i ditt ansikt.
Og du vet du er til
når havet former seg rundt kroppen din og forteller deg :
" Vær deg selv. "
Å elske er å være til,
selv på dager så tunge
at du trues med å gå under.
I nytt liv fra Guds kjærlighet
kan du se :
at selv mirakler finner sted.
Mona Kristin Roald
Buster Is Cured From Anxiety And Paranoia
Buster have been the most scared and paranoid cat i have ever seen. He was so scared that he stayed for two weeks under my bed. I had to feed him under the bed.
I lost in a while hope that he would be secure and healthy, but time is the best medication.
Today he is safe, comfortable and healthy and love and peace together with nice and good talks makes miracles.
I am so worried for the psychiatric treatment that mean that things can't heal.
It takes time.
The cats show me a healthy way through nursing that time and love together with understanding and letting the cats chose theire own tempo in healing.
Bought cats live now a happy farm life, they are secure, happy and comfortable cats that likes to be together with me.
Buster shows with lying like he does that he counts on me 100 % and is secure on me.
Miracles happens for all given the right treatment after the nature of the human or the animal.
I dont understand where the psychiatric treatment are in the head.
Buster was very scared in the beginning and is now very secure and the thoughest one of the cats.
He showed up to become very solid and strong.
He stayed outside a lot together with other cats.
lørdag 17. september 2016
I Wonder About Something ?
I laugh at the psychiatric treatment finding inspiration in others life stories.
I have a picture taken of me in 2003 that was to a exhibition on valentines day in the church.
It was only female artists.
This picture a nurse copied with me busted in the psychiatric unit.
Today i was at the beach while the sun setted in the ocean.
A man that works in the psychiatric unit i got copied was there together with a woman in a wedding gown and with male hat and jacket. It was wedding clothes.
It symbolized God i think. I am not sure. But i know this man knows a lot about me, and find inspiration in my history with a phantom.
fredag 16. september 2016
onsdag 14. september 2016
tirsdag 13. september 2016
I Want You To Live
No matter what has happened
God finds a solution.
Seek the gentle breeze in the sun
or the mystery of the rain.
Feel the presence of nature
and write down what you feel.
Wish for a dream to awaken
and dare to forgive and turn to you're family, friends or neighbors.
Know you are loved
Like a human that has never been on this earth before.
You have you're own magic journey in front of you.
The stars shine in the dark
and dare to turn off the outer world
with all its impressions and just be you.
Shower,
dress in comfortable clothes
and dare to eat food you desire.
So simple as a chocolate bar can save you.
Listen to music and go bare feet.
Feel.
The thoughts you have are to be washed away with love.
Dare to be needful and ask for help.
Dont give up.
You are loved.
Sleep Well
The day started with serious problem in getting up. I slept until 13:00 and was so tired i could hardly walk. It gives me experience i have never had how serious it is when you nearly have no will to live. You want to live, but thoughts are cluttered up. In past memories and a post traumatic depression after treatment. But i managed to make dinner and take a shower and wash clothes.
The weather today has been very good and i went to the nearby store for doing some shopping of groceries and food to the cats. People act differently but are in general kind.
I shopped jarn for nitting. I dont know the word in english but the autumn is here with darker evenings and it gives me time to knit. I am not so very good at it, but practice makes you better.
The cats have been out the all day and just come inside for food and water. They love the outdoor life here at the farm, and climb in trees and play around with each other.
It gets me in a good mood.
I bicycled two times today. Not so very long but enough to see that when i am in vitality and spirit i can make it better than i believe myself. It was refreshing to bicycle in the green fields.
I work with the little prince returns
and write poems.
I see that in my worse days of life i can make things with love and that in my core there is a great love for all that surrounds me.
Ted is very kind and comes inside to check on me that i am doing fine.
He is the kindest cat i have ever had and he gives me comfort and healing.
They are farm cats and is expanding they're territory and is kind.
To see how joyful they are and how much they trust me is healing.
It is worth writing down you're mood when you feel better from depression so you know that you can survive. In all my despair of the last week, i did not think i would make it through. But i did and also managed exercise. I sit now with a croissant, coffee and chocolate and know by a heavenly relieve that pain and depression can go over. I know i will struggle until i am off medication, or change to a better medication that i can survive.
Thanks to kind people around me and my pets i survive.
I feel peace and comfort and relieve of pain.
The surprise in this is that it can give you the best moments of you're life when you get relieve in pain. Because you see true love and people that fights for you.
mandag 12. september 2016
How To Save A Life
Today was a hard day. I have no forces left and can hardly walk. I have suicidal thoughts and not the will to go on. It has taken a lot of me the treatment for years and it has given me anxiety, depression and PTSD. I can't get the memories of all i have been through under control. Together with the treatment and isolation i lost my father and my grandmother. I have not had the time to feel on the grieve because of all the treatment. And the quality is diverted. There is a huge gap in what the reality is and how the treatment is in the real life. There is enough tools in the literature and the science to save a life and get the skills to prevent suicide.
Today i had visit of the community treatment team and it became a hard time that nearly blew me off my feets. I had to sleep for hours after they had been here.
They refused to save my life. They said on my suicidal thoughts :
" What you chose to do with you're life is up to you. "
I felt she controlled me to suicide. I said :
" Do you want me to die ? "
" No " She said.
But she did not give me anything positive to hold on to.
They were not capable to talk about hope and the meaning of life.
I have written a nurse plan on my own and they dont manage to follow it.
I have explained there that the medication i am on give me suicidal thoughts and that i shall have security, hope and meaning and strengthening on my resources.
I told them to follow the nursing plan.
And she said : " You have to high demands on us. "
Is it hard to tell someone that has lost the will to live that there is hope and meaning in life. That even if it is hard to see it comforting words can save you.
The community treatment team left me in confusion, anxiety and anger in me.
I got shock of the treatment was so bad.
I called my mother and she came out to the farm after work. Together with my sisters dog. He was a caretaker and a little savior, bringing joy to me. The cats is used to dogs and wanted to be together with him. But he barked at them. I sat outside while my mother made dinner to me. She talked about hope and that we should find a way. I am going to a doctor that look on the psychiatric health field with different eyes. A doctor once said :
" The real thing for Mona is to rest and get comfort and security to heal. "
My mother talked good with me.
She cleaned the house while i was together with " Ruffen " the dog outside.
Afterwards we walked on the beach in the sunset. That gave me very positive feelings.
I get visit of a doctor on Wednesday and might get hospitalized if i dont manage to feel better.
I really need help and new medication and people around me that work for giving me security and hope.
I read on the net a treatment report about preventing suicide. It was written in 2008 and it should be read by the community treatment team that said :
" I have no good answer on why i can not help you. "
I hold on because of my son, my mother and the animals.
I sit and write a little bit better and with a feeling of peace.
But i know the thoughts will come to the night.
I hope that everyone can be saved and that health care workers hold up to the quality of they're professional skills. I went in shock and emptiness of what they did to me today.
I told them to sign off as professional workers when they just left me with nothing to say.
Hold on to all suffering. There is meaning and help can be found in family, friends and pets.
I will watch tv now and relax before i go to bed.
My mother turned it all around and got a doctor to me on wednesday.
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