onsdag 31. august 2016
søndag 28. august 2016
lørdag 27. august 2016
Metallica - King Nothing [Official Music Video]
They kill me here on the islands, a cab driver pointed at me two times when i sat outside and it hurts.
fredag 26. august 2016
onsdag 24. august 2016
Simple Wish Is The Key
I dont put out a picture on this article, because it is up to you to focus on what YOU want.
There is a great mening of life and that is
YOU.
You are an important person that can make a difference in the world by showing you're strength in holding on in what you believe in.
I have sendt my novels to three papers and found out today that researchers has stolen my ideas and my reflection on " The Secret " by Rhonda Byrnes.
They say that it dont work.
If you have followed my blogg since the first article i used the secret.
I wrote also that it did not exist and that it created financial crisis and economical ruin.
And it does used the wrong way.
The Secret does exist.
But you need to be thought in it.
I was thought in it by my grandmother that lived to be 105 years old.
And she was not a quitter.
And neither am i, even though i write this with something that feels like my last strength.
I am on medication i really should not been on.
But that is a different story written about in the novels i write.
I want to tell you about suffering.
Life is easy until you burst into problems.
Life is all about problems.
We can't escape them.
We are thought in the popular psychology that everybody shall be happy and live the best life ever. But God did not spare his son Jesus from pain.
He suffered more than us.
My grandma was very religious but she went seldom to church.
I visited her often and she and i prayed together.
It was simple wishes of an happy everyday life.
I have had so many happy times that i know that the real reality is that God loves ut and wants us to be happy.
But sometimes you end up alone.
Get a cat or a dog.
There is healing in animals.
They get you out of habit thinking and surprise you with giving you comfort and love.
The real thing in life you dont know before you have suffered a great deal in life.
That a comforting word can save you're life.
It is the way to believing through suffering.
There is a light always in the darkness.
So hold on and wish simple wishes and see that prayers help you.
It change the way you think.
There is no road to the secret without God.
He is the master of you're faith and you're life it you only lay you're life in his hands.
Yesterday i thought i could not face today.
I was not sure if i would wake up of exhaustion.
But i woke up early and did housework and thought,
we are all brave that face tomorrow.
There is a guidance in life.
That is reason.
And a bit of magic by the lord above if you only believe a little.
It can grow to huge faith.
Sleep well.
I wish only for a good night sleep and that i wake up next morning.
tirsdag 23. august 2016
søndag 21. august 2016
Sensation Of Spirit
You're dreams can come true.
There is a part of all humans and that is that we can feel.
We are so much more than our mind.
We have a heart and a soul that knows the way to recovery if you only listen to you're true self.
The psychiatric treatment has forgotten that human can create and find new thoughts.
If you ever are hospitalized i have a good advice :
That is to draw and paint you're dreams.
Dont let them close you down.
I was not given anything to do in isolation, but i painted all the time in my mind.
At one institution i could paint after a while.
I painted and told about myself and that was the only thing i wanted to do.
And a dream of being with horses.
I feel and have felt all the time without thoughts.
When you do you're favorite sport you dont think in words,
you feel and sense and know the behavior out from this.
Practice what you do,
and dont forget you're free mind.
Horses saves me.
I paint :
I understand Shakira.
Sleep well.
The Little Prince has been here the whole time.
Animals are kind treated the right way.
Somebody steals.
torsdag 18. august 2016
tirsdag 16. august 2016
Blue River performed by Eric Andersen
My grandpa that was a war sailor called me " Blue River " - He survived and is kind :-)
The Answer On The Litle Prince Lies In The Rose
In all this years The Little Prince has cared for and protected the rose.
The sheep never ate it up.
Something special happened so it all worked out to be a happy story.
Teddy is a guardian angel for the little prince.
mandag 15. august 2016
What I Am Doing The Next Year
What I understood in the spring 2002 was
The Litle Prince
of
Antoine de Saint-Exupèry.
The book finishes with a riddle and a question that Antoine asked to get an answer on.
He never got that,
but to where he is now I paint and draw and write about my answer on the Litle Prince.
I will be doing this the next coming year from now.
I have been painting and i am a bit out of practice with my water color painting,
but
that is not so important.
The importance is that i can think and understand what might be hard to understand.
When i should photograph the picture Teddy laid himself next to it and protected it.
He refused to go away and he is very kind.
Teddy and Buster guards me at nighttime
and they love that i draw and paint.
I got more good pictures of Teddy and The Litle Prince.
Cats are extremely intelligent animals.
We have had a good day.
lørdag 13. august 2016
fredag 12. august 2016
I Am Not Schizophrenic
To create a life of free will should be done in all countrys in the world. And the psychiatric treatment should be the best place to do it and teach the patients about life, peace and joy.
But...
So it is not.
I lived for years together with my son in peace and made an example out of the fact that my only plan was to be a mommy for my son. As good as i have the quality to be.
I am educated as a nurse and worked quite well knowing that i had a lot to learn.
I knew i was not the best.
The whole problem gets very weird when people think they are the best and think they have the whole truth in they`re hands.
It shocks me how much power a doctor has, and how far a doctor can go to ruin a woman life.
I got isolated in 2012 of making comments on a nurse copying me.
It should not have happened.
Because when people play games with patients it is all wrong and danger of life.
I told so.
And got sendt to isolation.
Without the possibility to talk.
I was beeng shut down.
In the isolation to survive i started to play games.
I held comedies on my own to keep me entertained because i was given no work therapy or things i could do ; as knitting and painting ( as i usually do, i am a cosy and peaceful person. )
It should be given the right to life in isolation.
But it was not given to me.
I walked for hours in my room to exercise and keep the body well.
I was not lead out into the open air.
In comedys and role play, i played all from House MD to a Afghanistan Veteran that just wanted to bring the boys back home. I played the veteran so good that a nurse started to flirt with me ( him ) in the body language. ( I thought they had went crazy ) I then started to play the Dancing Nun and Madame Curie. I talked french and english and started furthermore to write poems and song.
I was singing " Do You See Jesus ",
the whole time and it goes like this :
Do You See Jesus,
do you hear the childrens call
Do you see angels
Do you listen when they fall
I have a burden
captured in a wicked game
It is for billions ($)
I dont wanna live in pain
So hear the mothers
and every child along the way
They are the loved ones
help them out
they should not need to pay
For wicked wars thats started for the sake of man
Its for the glory
and they dont know it end in shame.
I have written more. It is not written in my journal that i was singing this song.
I was singing it all the time.
A priest heard me singing this song and wanted me to give the hymn out.
It is to save war children.
It should have told them where my heart is.
But still they isolated me and gave me all kinds of drugs.
I got very ill and could not wash myself good enough of the treatment.
I got claustrophobic to the bathroom.
But it all went away after a while.
The diagnose is created by isolation and not of my way of living and thinking.
I am well again.
But suffers of side effects of medication and trauma of isolation.
They broke nearly all the laws in Norway and not one person i have met has seen the truth or dared to do something about it.
But at my last hospitalization some working in the unit talked good about me and gave me credits on the person i really am.
I have been through screening and a lot of mess.
The psychiatric field has just created a big mess for themselves.
In the seek for glory and control.
Some doctors are personally involved to take me down.
I am not paranoid.
The doctor in my last hospitalization wrote that i could not heal.
They break the law and she has written a scheme with things i have not said.
I can't write anymore.
But i dont really think the psychiatric health field see the true value of a persons life.
My whole plan was to be a single mommy and not anything else.
I made it through anyway with my son thanking me for a happy childhood,
and i thank him with all my love for being alive.
He is my star.
Sometimes you're guide comes from you're children and let they`re wishes for a happy life lead you.
And are it not a happy life all have plans to live ?
It should be enough to say that to the psychiatric field.
Sometimes I Feel Like Hell
Today has been a severe day in suffering.
I have been so tired i can hardly walk.
I have spent the time together with my bird and the cats are outside in the garden and in a little barn.
I wonder so much in how the doctors and nurses think i shall live a life with quality and fulfill my needs on my own when i have so much complication of the medication.
But i play music and drink water and coffee and try to eat regularly.
Sometimes everything is okay,
but it has been a long hard day and i have slept a lot.
torsdag 11. august 2016
I Am Question Mark ?
I am not mark. ?
Just joking.
I wonder so much about all the people wanting control over everything and looks in the wrong places for an answer.
Sometimes it should be enough to tell that you believe in the Lord above.
I wonder so much about people wanting everything and not giving away anything.
I believe that poor people have a heart to give away more, because they know how it feels like.
All i wanted was a job and live healthy.
I am ruined and suffers a lot.
But it turned out to be a good day of visit and the cats.
Buster lied in front of the computer and was not worried.
Sometimes animals find they`re own language to give you love and protect you.
I can't understand the people who wants to rule the world.
It is good to have glory days
and i hope they come for all mankind.
You dont need much then, but some.
Mark Ronson - Valerie ft. Amy Winehouse
Somebody has fooled me in-between - smoke my ass off - God is kind :-)
Sia - Chandelier (Official Video)
Drink pure water ;-) Have had a good time :-) Music is therapy and i have songs for my own, i sing.
Kurt Nilsen and Willie Nelson - Lost Highway (HQ)
Sivert Høyem is kind, " Make Ways " - i am smiling of love to many :-)
onsdag 10. august 2016
Kind
Today has been a good and weird day.
For the mostly everything is weird around me sometimes.
But i have kittens at home at the farm and they sleep a lot of comfort and peace.
I am very kind and just put out a picture so you can see who is writer of this blogg.
To find meaning in life, you have to go after you're heart and put down limits in what you can take.
Sometimes it is good to say " no ".
fredag 5. august 2016
onsdag 3. august 2016
The Freedom Of You're Life
You are free.
Just go inside you're mind and heart and find a place of peace.
Many struggle with being the best,
Be yourself.
It is good enough.
Because you then are true and real.
Dont be held back by a system that locks you up and give you the signals that you are worthless.
Rise above them in kindness and peace.
Fight for the right to be you,
to not let yourself go,
is to be honest,
and stay in kindness.
Nobody can tell you what should be you're dreams.
Dare to dream.
To be a little bit crazy is normal.
Look for the ones that accept you and accept them.
It is the road to true friendship and good laughs.
To hold back the true you can tear you down.
Sometimes you have forgotten who you are.
But find yourself in the everyday dreams,
because it is there you find the real life.
Be you.
You are the best one at this.
Love life
and know that life loves you.
tirsdag 2. august 2016
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