An everyday life in magic is formed by you're dreams - let them shine down from above and keep you in spirit by seeing that God want you to be loved and reach you're dreams.
My life has changed so much in days thanks to Pegas One. This Picture is from the first time we met. She had not taken contact with me yet or protected me as she did against an aggressive horse. Pegas One has thought me to not worry. She has taken all my burdens and worries away by being a extremely strong and though horse. She chooses people out and accepted me at once. She stood at this picture observing me and listening to my voice. The christmas season has been good this year bringing me back. So much that my son was to dinner with me to day and laughed of me and i was all me again talking like i used to, not being calm and defensive all the time because of all i have been through. Pegas One takes hold of my soul and lift it back in place. And i look forward to a better life than i ever have had because of Pegas One. My son who is becoming a physical therapist in about three years from now wants to learn to ride because of the change in me and the kindness and love in Pegas One. And i think Pegas One will love him more than me because he is stronger and kinder than me. So next saturday my son and me go and take riding lessons on Pegas One together. She brought me back to my son and i love this horse so much that i give my life for her and guard and protect her. She is the meaning of my life now because my son is grown up and live in another city and study.
This christmas before i met Pegas One i was not in the mood to decorate so much because i did not want a lot of memories and be in grieve over all we have lost in our life. I have a place i keep my focus on life and my place to protect and guard and that is the closet where i keep the statue of a mare with a colt. I bought it when i sold my horse Quality Dreamer and a symbol of who i am and i always keep my eyes to this statue. This christmas i did not have a christmas tree even though we always used to go to our forest and pick a tree. I took a christmas tree in silver and a santa claus in the shelf together with all my wishes for life, and a miracle happened Pegas One came into my life with all my dreams old and new and she guards me. And i am sure she will guard and protect my son more than me. Life is to live by the soul in feelings. All kinds of feelings, but to have a place to go in love with someone that understands you and for me it is a horse. She created a miracle and give a mother and a son all they lost in life back. Pegas One is loved and is a miracle i pray that she will live for many years more. She is 23 years old. But is strong and in good health of a owner that gives her good nursing. So life can change by God to a better life than you ever dreamed of, and Pegas is humorous and tells me to have fun. On the first picture i put out of her on the blogg she smiles :-)
" Gods Love For You Is Bigger Than You Think And He Leads You To Places To Find Back All You Lost. "
This is Pegas One, i am not the best photographer but she is an beautiful black Belgium Warmblood race and she is kinder than i ever could think a horse could be. I thought i was very well again but Pegas One should show me that i was not. I am going of medication and is tired still of the values of medication in me but it is lowering down. Pegas One protected me very aggressive towards another horse that wanted to bite me. And she guarder me as a colt. Pegas One is 23 years old and in very good shape of owners treating her good. I was out riding her some days ago and i was happy but nervous. I had not been riding a horse on 7 years and the horse i was riding 7 years ago remembered me and my talking and apples. He made noises and was extremely friendly. Pegas One is a though mare. She tests out the person treating her and you have to work calm with her but she was nearly sleeping when i brushed her face. When it was time to ride i was scared of my balance and falling off. But Pegas One talked to me. She stroke her head gentle on me and nodded her head with humor telling me : " Don't be scared it will go all right. I don't harm you. " And i went up on her back and in seconds i understood i had not been all me, but was all me again of Pegas One. All my balance and perception got back in second and my mind went in " Flow " and that is a focused state of just being that is the best to be in for humans. The riding lesson lasted for an hour but it seemed like 15 minutes and i was back as a rider as i used to and not nervous at all but working gentle and secure with the horse. The mental state of flow is with me all the time and i move differently. Pegas One gave my back massage and in the evening after the riding lesson grieve went away and my back let go of pain and a damage i have had in the neck is healed. I love Pegas One so much that i can't explain it. She is a horse that i get to ride once a week and maybe more. The owner of the stable is a fantastic woman helping me out and she is so loving that she gets me even better. So Pegas One turned my whole life around and protected me from hospitalization. Nurses wanted to get me to hospital but doctors said no. So i thank the doctors for listening to me and telling me that i am not psychotic but functioning good. And they wanted me to go to Pegas One so the horse saved my Christmas. They know more than we think horses and can sense moods in us humans. And Pegas One saved my life and got me even more well. Even though i thought i was all healed. My mind is functioning like it did before i got ill and Pegas One got out all bad memories and healed me. My son is so happy for Pegas One and want to go to the stable together with me and of the result Pegas One got out in me he wanted to start to ride himself. So Pegas One is a living miracle creator and i thank the Lord above for her. I will stay with her until she dies and move closer to the stable to be there as often as i can. " God Can Show You That He Wants Things Even Better Than You Think And Create Miracles. "
Life changes by minutes and so it did for me yeasterday. I was out taking pictures with a friend and went to a stable to take pictures of horses. Three horses stood out in a paddock and i went to the horse that seeked most contact. And one horse was very beautiful. black with a white star. And she stood just looking at me and listening very awake and in stamina. I went to the other horse that thought the camera was food. He got upset and angry when it was not and started to get agressive. I am not scared of agressive horses. But he lied on his ears and showed teaths and it was like he wanted to bite. I did not move. But took my hand fovard to him and then something happened. The black horse runned towards us and scared away and bitt after the horse beeing agressiv towards me. She stood and guarded me and scared all the time the other horse away. No horse has ever protected me or guarded me this way so soon before. And i smiled and laughed. And then she did something different. She turned her head towards the ground and showed humbleness and that she choosed me as a leader and was extremly kind. I could not pet her much because of the fences was high. I left in the car and when i got home i called the stable owner and got to know that the black horse was Pegas One and is 23 years old and that they looked for a rider to her. So now i am rider once a week on Pegas One and i am about to buy her in a while when i have enough money. The horse was a miracle to me and help from God. I was in great pain and suffering and all went away of getting my anker point back and relieve of grieve. I am in full remission and that is when all pain and illness go away and you go back to the person you used to be all healthy. I stay with Pegas One until she dies and give her a good time in her last years, but she can live to be over 30 years old. And she is beautiful. In a few days i go to her and take riding lessons again and got all my life and strenght back this christmas. I am so in inner peace and in such a joy even though it is difficult times. Life can change in a day and youre christmas can be youre best ever remembering youreself and be truly youreself. So tomorrow i celebrate christmas in thankfullness for miracle healing, and Pegas One and i might go on televison, a norwegian channel was interested in the story to see how people heals together with horses. And i have a horse in my life that guards me and gives me love and acceptance. So never give up - miracle does happen !!! " Merry Cristmas to Everyone - Life Is A Miracle ! "
Once upon a time there was a christmas gift to all humans. The litle child Jesus Christ was born on Christmas day. His life was not easy. But he had a good humour, laughed a lot and was a great speaker and not at least incredible strong. His kindness lives on today in the love he gives to the world. But his life was a lot of suffering and he stayed many times alone in the mountains praying and thinking about life. Since 1980 there has been a lot of popular psycology that tells us that we all can stay happy all the time. But we live in a world with great differences and war. It does something to us. It can be hard to take it all in that life does not give the best to everyone. But there is chosies and we can chose all life. My son told me once that : Good choises leads you closer to God. " I have taken that as learning. That you can learn from others. And i listen to people making it good in life. I am so thankfull to my son who has seen all my suffering, but have had a secure mommy. I have never been psycotic together with my son until he was 18 years old. And i thought i would lose him if he saw me different and filled with anxiety. I got something to think about my whole life that day for nearly three years ago. Because my son laughed of me. It was the wierdest thing he even had been out for. And he sat down to talk to me and wanted to know all about me and psycosis. The result was that i was voulontary hospitalised with 52 in rest pulse. I was in such a good state hospitalised that i was in peace nearly the whole time. And my son teched me to interwiev psycotic persons and he shall have the credit for that. That the right questions and a inntelligent talk gets away psycosis. All i have talked to get back to reality and get peace because someone really cares. I am so proud of my son that i in November at a very hard time in my life wrote him a poem : " When The Star Shined For The First Time. " On tuesday this week it was printed in the paper together with an article from UNICEF. I got so happy i cried. Because my son has always been a helper. With a mom taking in all the world and that gives troubles sometimes. My son is home for christmas and i cant ask for more. He read the poem and liked it a lot and was proud of me. It gives me spirit to go on. Because life is not easy all the time. I have good quality on my life, but there is problems. And we suffer. And some more in the christmas. But life is hard. And Jesus suffering makes it easier for me having a role model. Because why should life be easier for us than for Gods own Son ? We have to hold on and realise that we live in a world with interactions but with many good laughs. And youre hardest time can be something to laugh about when you get over it and look back. There is always different ways to look at a problem or a conflict. And remember that you are born strong. To break down is often a token on beeing to strong over a long time. So i hope you reduce stress in the christmas time and remember that life is a specter of colours. We all live it differently there is not one with youre life story, youre DNA or youre fingerprints. So remember that you are special and that youre biggest fear can be something to laugh about and sorten out many problems confronted. We suffer, but we live and we grow stronger. There is love for everybody, even in hard times and maybe then you find the strongest and most precious love in youre life. And it can change youre whole life and the life of many others. And thanks to my son a unit will have me to speak about treatment of psycosis. And my son has healed me with his security, love and laughter and i cant wait to spend the christmas season together with my hero and favourite person in the world. Life is hard, but i feel like the luckiest person on earth. So remember that what you want in youre life might always has been there together with you and i have already gotten my chritmas present with a healthy and strong child on 21. It gets me going all the time. And christmas will be good i know. With all i want in this world together with me. Have faith - God is alway there :-) Have a great christmas with youre loved ones. I wish you all the best. Youre weakest part in life might be youre greatest strenghts - so hold on forever - you are loved. " God Loves You - So Dont Worry. "
Today has been a day in a regular monday with litle to do. But i managed to get up early of phone calls from friends and went to the store buying a lot of food to have a cosy time in the snow. I lighted candles inside in my litle appartment and read and studied The Mona Lisa of Leonardo Da Vinci. I like the silk print i got in a vintage store a lot and i realised something new. That on the right side of Mona Lisa`s head there looks like there is painted a crown that look like an iceberg. I wonder a lot about this and the genious and the mystical with Leonardo Da Vinci captures me. What if he travelled the world and was on expeditions to the south pole/ antarctica ? We never know. But it looks like Leonardo has seen icebergs and managed to paint it like a crown of illusions. Maybe Mona Lisa was very special to him and a person he thought higher about then any other. He must have liked her a lot. And i write eariler about my studies about The Mona Lisa and she mostly seemed like she wrote and painted herself. There will be tales about this painting in ages. And now the mystery about Mona Lisa also lives with me. I like art a lot and study it and tomorrow i am off to buy a new computer and a photocamera to the blog. It is my christmas present to myself and a goal of making it back to a better life. I have had a good regular day today with a lot of cosy feelings and i have watched kids playing in the snow. I like snow a lot it gives Norway a scene that shapes Norways identity and it is fun all you can do in the snow. And the scenery gets so beautiful. So in the snowland Norway we get a white christmas. Wish you all the best and remember that mysteries and exitement can come to you on the most regular days making them special. Live one day by the time with plans that gives you vision and dreams that are good. It helps you to always stay happy. " Gods Mysteries Always Will Exite Humans And Making Everyday Something Special. "
Society needs to be slowed down. Today there is to much stress in the world. People dont get enough peace in theire mind and in theire body to relax so much that they sometimes sleep good on the floor in serenity. I have studied a lot. And when i went to nurse university college i read english and american nursing together with the norwegian nursing. And i found a book about the nurse as a change agent. That there always was work to do to reach perfection and solve nurse problems. I got ill of to much stress and grieve and knew that society needed to change. It was also after 9/11 and i knew the world would suffer from abnormal stress (war) and economical crisis. Norway face in 2015 econimical crisis and it will influence on peoples lives. It is hard times but it can be lived in a good way managing the social and enviromental problems with lower down goals, save money and with a trick of magic live more fullfilled. A crisis and also a illness can gives you new knowledge and experience to form a better life with that you get wiser and know that love is best to live for also from an animal. And in this case a horse with the name Quality Dreamer and in the everyday life called Camaro. I have to write a bit about the case and society first. I realised that people forget more these days. There is so many stimulous in the society from smartphones, computers, internett and music in phones and ipods. I realised for some years ago that many youths and people using ipods listened not so good. It seemed like theire hearing was not good. And they did not get all the information in a conversation. We need to listen to silence in the nature and have the music on a bit lower. I seldom play load music. People is formed by the society to always stay on top and be showed from the best side. It creates a lot of stress and people loan over theire ability to have a life standard to show to others. When youth walk in a jacket to nearly 6000,-nkr that is nearly 1000 usd something is wrong. Because a family of a middle class society dont afford this to all theire children. And you can get a better looking jacket for under half the price. The financial crisis will give mentall problems and lower life quality. And if we dont act now depression is the world largest desise in 2020 estimated by WHO. It is time to slow down as a good advice to make this planet a better plave to be for all living creatures on this planet. And we cant wait. People use more money than what they have and that gives mental problems like anxiety, depression and seveare stress. Some can get a so high stress level because of that, that it can be measured by the level of stress in war. So let the everyday war go over by forming youreself a better life by reducing stress and go by a good life plan. Where you set of peacefull time together with the ones you love.
The psyciatric problems increases in the world. And it is because of " world - stress " all the global society forms us and we need to listen to ourselves to stay happy, peacefull and mental healthy. To learn about psycology is good for every person on earth to know you have a mental health because we all meet problems in life and society forms us. But we can choose how we want to form ourselves in nearly all situations. We need to live in a speed natural for humans. We have different strenghts and talents and need to know that there are not any prototype on us. Only us together in this either we are alone or in a community. I understood as a nurse that the education started for full when i was educated that nursing is a life long education. You are finished as a nurse if you stop study when you are educated because it is a work of perfection. It need to be because an error can be fatal. There are not enviroment for errors. Many nurses goes over to the psyciatric field to relax, because errors there is not so bad to do. But it has the same skills for them as all the others levels of nursing. And the psyciatric is worse in 2014 than in 2002. There is to litle money given to the health care field and the people there dont understand good humans and in how to treat all the problems of life. We are all humans even a person with schizophrenia is normal. They have the same believes, needs and love in them as others. There is never a person ill all the time. There is normality in all mental problems. There is nobody ill all the time. Treated with love and trust all get healed from mental problems.
ADHD gets more of in the society and i believe there is no ADHD. Because i have seen children with this diagnose easen down and get very peacefull and social very kind towards others by stimulating them to inntelligence and creativity so they get out all theire thoughts. They need routines and good food and somebody thats understand that children are children and make jokes and flavs and sometimes take a walk on the wild side. It belongs to childhood. God forgivess all children always and also youths for what they have done and then the parents and society should be forgiving also and rather learn to laugh at somebody beeing a bit to joyfull or making a lot of fuss. Dont judge them but accept them and all problem behaviour goes away. I have seen this happening.
My son has alway been peacefull and more intelligent than me. To follow him from child to adult has been more developing and loving than going to nurse university college. Because my son wanted to know all about the world and the universe. He gave me questions i could not answear and i needed to study genious to give him the right answears. Our favourites was Leonardo Da Vinci and Albert Einstein. We laughed a lot and made a lot of jokes and played out all the time.
But the one who should give us most learning in life was a horse. Quality Dreamer came to us in 1995 when my son was 2 years old, and he was a dangerous horse with a temper and an anger in him that at the first time scared me a lot. The horse had a strong life will and it went over in anger. And anger is not treated by medications it is often a way to protect themselves anger is shown. And it needs to be taken away with not doing anything and to use love, calm words and trust. It makes the anger go away forever. The horse got the kindest horse i have ever had. And to see a 2 year old master him in kindness and love and managing to work in the stable as an adult made me impressed. And the horse gave my son healthy selfconfindence in an early age.
I called the horse schizophrenic and i knew that all his mental set about society and humans was wrong. But maybe once they was right ? I never got to know what happened to him but he was mistreated. And fought for his life even if there was nothing to fight about. I needed to give him time and learn how to be a horse again and not a race horse. The horse grew beautiful and kind in love and got healed from all mental problems and a very intellligent horse personality got revealed. He one day after a year got his runner instinct back and runned of with me at a beach. He wanted to race again, and he was a us Hanover horse and runned so fast that i nearly throw up in fear. I had never experienced more power in action. He was incredible strong. I called that " Hidden Run. " And i guessed the horse understood that we needed money, he was breeded after very good horses and was a big horse. I never started him because i did not wanted to get him back to what ruined him. But i think today the horse knew what he did, he wanted back, And i write also a novel about this horse. It broke my heart to sell him when i started at nurse university college. My son runned after the trailer and yelled : " Dont leave me Camaro. " And my heart broke. It has never healed from that situation and i got to know after some years that the horse always looked for a litle boy and he got agressive again and died in grieve missing his best friend, my son Kristoffer.
Life dont give you alway the right choises. You think you do the best thing and you really dont. I wonder if i had been more happy working at a gasoline station and having my child and my horse together with me. But youre journey of life alway tends to give you surprises. I have had a very good life even though i have been ill. But the only thing making me ill is bad treatment and medication not working. I am healed again and working for that people shall have a good life finding inner peace and theire talents because then health comes in as a product of this. People take the right choises presented to a good life and lead to reality by people knowing what is happening.
Financial Crisis is a challenge to turn around and next year will be a tougher year for Norway. But poverty can be a blessing that you put more value on life and on presents and things. And there is really more time to play and have fun than with people working a lot. I know someone who went to a slum and a very poor place in Kenya, and he got surpirised because he had never seen more happy children. There is time for love in this places and not only more stuff and things.
I hope that you think about youre life and protect youre mental health so you stay healthy youre whole life. Because the world society is rougher than in years. Stay together with people that loves you and know that to take education as a health care worker gives you a lot of joy and gives you reason to live good. It forms you to a better person if you understand youre patients as equal to you and that many of them is wiser than you and has lived longer.
A patient on 92 years old teached me about lifestyle and food. He was a the strongest man i had ever seen and was stronger than many 20 year old. We got a good relationship and i lived after his advices and is extremly strong in my body. When i moved from my house i lifted the same things as a trained man :-) I am also writing a book about this. So people can get inner peace by eating the right stuff and stay healthy and strong on simple basic life rules and live a long and happy life. It is also to the story that the good man giving me advices about life also smoked all his life. He lived to be 97 years old. And if i get the same age i will be more than happy.
So to all people. Know that life heals you with giving you alway option to chose. So use reason and create youre best life in love to other people. You get so much back and if you still feel alone. Walk to a stable and learn how to ride. A horse lifts you over all the problems in the world and uses his life to carry you. So love the horses. They needs us also :-) In memory of Quality Dreamer that saves my life even today :-)
Have a loved life :-) " There is alway a sullution - have alway hope and if you lose it - there is God. "
Heartache can turn youre whole life around and get you into depression if it is not cured. It can not be treated with medications because it is grieve. And to all people suffering from heartache it goes over by time and to change focus. It takes normally a year before it goes over and talk about it to people that are close to you. All heartache can be healed and there is not only one person for you. The world is filled with good people men and women and you just need to take time and dont fall appart completly. A good song can help you and i desided today to put out the official music video from the band Madrugada. Madrugada is spanish and means the darkest hour before the sunrise. And it is also the time when the birds start to sing. I have to be honest and tell that mostly my suffering has been heartache, but i have chosed to stay alone because i wanted to give my son all of my time and not get involved with men i did not know and get personal problems because the reality is when the first love goes over reality gets in and there gets always problems and i know by heart that i made the right choise. But it has not lacked on men wanting me. I have many as good close friends and when i was hospitalised in another city far from here i got five proposals from good men that wanted me the best and they did not see me at my best but at my weakest and still wanted me. One of them i like a lot and he is an extremly kind man more beautiful than Brad Pitt and i asked him to change his life and go into acting. I told him that if Lord Of The Rings and The Hobbit had seen him they had taken him in as an actor because he locked like an strong elf with extremly beautiful green eyes. He found me at a unit without make up and whitout my own clothes. I had to walk in ugly clothes from the unit. Still he wanted me for my kindness and the way i am. And maybe i should have sayed yes...but still i wanted to give my time to my son. We have had hard times but now it seem like all my job and effort in reading and studies are paying off. I get papers to my CV on things i do and i have bought www.centralbureuofmedicine.com to qualitysecure the health care system and do research on medicine and give out a magazine and also research in cases that are not easy to solve. I start this next year. The reason why i not work as a nurse at a hospital is that i see how litle the resources are and that sometimes the job is not good enough done and there is lack of money so the patients dont get good enough treatment. The closest to my heart is psyciatric treatment and it needs to be kinder and my main study of this is that nearly all mental problems starts from grieve over something. If it is treated as natural cases with a good nurse or a doctor the mental problems will not expand because we react on life. And my story is not unique. I just got a natural hard time and did got medication that i dont respond on because it is by outer problems and cases started from a heartache. But it heals by time and new love finds you all the time. There is billions of people in the world and the right man or woman can turn up when you just dont have no idea that they turn up and it can be at a time in youre lifetime when you think that all is gone. I thank so much all good men i have met and when i am all myself i might find mr. right or maybe i find him soon by someone who strenghtens me and makes me whole by love. There is always hope. Dont think you have to be perfect all the time because real men dont want the perfect woman they want perfect love and that is something different. Love everyday and know that you heal even if you have lost somebody you love. Use time and know that a better man or woman can come into youre life in another perspective than what you have ever dreamed about. Look for perfect love not the perfect man or woman. There is love for you because you are loved. " Always be open for love - but chose the one making you a better person. "
To live a fullfilled life is easy if you make it easier to live. We humans are social individuals and it is often the best thing we do. To have time for life is to get life easier whithout to many goals in life. When you easen down life and get away stress traps you can focus on what is really the purpouse of youre life and find youre way. It is not easy to find this in a lot of clutter. It is soon christmas and the holliday is the best thing of the year. But for many people it is not easy. It can be illness, problems, poverty and a lot of other problems. But make the christmas easy. Dont stress the christmas away. It is there for you all the time and celebrate the christmas with the ones you love the most. If you are creative you can start new christmas traditions. I am having a santa claus party for my litle friend next week. It is to make everyday a day worth living to the full and get away bad thoughts. The right friends heals you from trouble. And beeing open on what is wrong with you the most people accept. My litle friend laughed at me when i told her i just had " thoughtpain" sometimes. She understood what it was and was very wise. I told my sister that i had written a litle book for parents explaining to children in what a mental illness are. That it is " thoughtpain " and that you need theraphy to get the thoughts away. It is not easy to explain children that you are mental ill. I am luckily not that anymore by working a lot with myself, my life and my dreams and dont try to be something i am not. I dare to show myself as a regular person and not overdone in clothes and make - up. And people like me more like a regular and natural person that knows the reality that sometimes life is hard and you have bad days. It is possible to laugh at a bad day if you are open about it. And with lower goals for life you get a higher life quality. I am happy and strong and love everyday life. I do my regular routine and write and paint inbetween and is happy with that, because i found my meaning of creating a better everyday not only in the weekends. And i get more good feedback than ever before. I am just an average person beeing me and i dont try to be something special, and i get more love in my life and have more love to give. I dont get a nervous breakdown if things are not perfect. I have patience and look forward to things and then i dont get boared. There is meaning in every single second and stress and problems went out of my life fast. I have a huge interest for music and listen to more music and dance and knitt and see very litle tv because i get boared and sometimes think the whole world has gone mad. Because i was without tv for several years. So i dont sit in front of the black box and buy in a reality that is not real. Because i know that when you focus on youre goals and manage to reach them reality is better, even though the world is thougher and harder than in many years. It is to create youre own reality and not form them after others and use common sence. That got me well and out of a schizophrenia diagnoze. So to all people : " Dare to be the real you - because people love the real thing. " Today i chose to put out one of my favourites with Metallica. They are coming to Norway 20. August 2015 in Bergen and i think i will go to the concert. It will be huge and an adventure :-) " Stay Real And Love Life - You Get There By Love And Safety. "
My best advice to change a difficult time or troubles is to write about them. You can be the master of your destiny then. The best part is to write a heroic novel where you are strong, confident and a character that makes it through. It changes youre way of thinking and is not a lie. Because it is a novel and you are allowed to do what you want in a novel and it can be more fun than in real life to write if you are boared and it can pay off to get a work for you. To form my novels in a good way i write about more positive and fun than dramatical and tragic things. You can write youreself out of trouble and into a better life.
Everybody got stories to tell and dont wait with them. Plot them and write them down. It takes a time to form a whole novel but by good writing and positive attitude it can become youre favourite thing to do and keep you fresh and exercised in the mind. To find a good story to write comes from just an idea you have or inspiration from reality or youre own life if you have experiensed something important, good, tremendous or something like a fairytale. It is just to get youre computer going or a pen and paper and start with a new life because to master writing gives you courage and much action and joy. You change youre mental attitude and get a new life. You see a new life getting formed together with the creation of the novel and it gets youre trouble away. So maybe you have a best seller idea for a novel. Dont wait with it - start as fast as you can and it is easy to publish today through ebooks publishing and you get millions of readers. So maybe you end up with a new life because of youre troubles and make a living out of them. So start over fresh, have patientce and never give up. " Troubles turned around can become a blessing. "
Today is one of my life most happiest days. I went to the doctor that accepted me to go off medication and today we talked for over an hour and he took away the diagnoze i got in hospitalisation. Because it was from outer causes and i started to work towards my dreams and goals. And when you use youre talents all problem behaviour goes away. It is not only that but a lot of prayers towards God and that change the cognitive behaviour and gives you mental peace. It is like meditation but only better. When you get a relationship to God you get inner peace and know you are loved and youre confidence grow and also the love and care for youreself and other people. One other thing is also something my son told me years ago when we disgussed religion. He told me : " Good choises gets you closer to God. " And that is right so i follow good visions, dreams and goals. And i have always had a lot of patientse and that is good to have because life can get boaring inbetween and to hold out this whitout getting boared is an art. Patience is a token of love because giving youreself and people time heals. It is okay to rest and take youre time. Life dont need to change in a day. Another thing is to get knowledge and read about mental help. Selfhelp books and also psyciatric litterature help it gives you security and you know you can get healed. The main thing that gave me a lot of help was ro write a novel about my life story in a fictive way based on real life. I recomend this to everyone because everybody got a novel story written the right way. If you are in a mental state that you need to get help for i recommend that you write a lot about all the positive things in youre life. It gives you a perspective on life and use youre novel for other health care workers you trust to see so they can know you. They will look on you as a different person and understand you. But the best part is that you understand youreself. So now i am focusing in taking a professor degree in psycosis treatment because the psyciatric need to change and i reccomend if you suffer from any mental conditions read all of this blog and get a good doctor to help you on youre way back to healing. I live a good and happy life with best friends around me and i have a lot of fun. And know that you grow to a stronger and kinder person when challenged by lifes hard points. So hang in there no matter what you can change into the real you with a different and better perspective on life with more love and peace in youre life. " For God Nothing Is Impossible ! "
Today is a great and historical day and it is in the name of Malala Yousafzai and Kailash Satyarthi and i am humble and in tears over the courage and the work in this two people. They are historical persons with a message to the world of acting today for todays children. They bought wanted us to be the generation that listens to children and give them education and work for peace. I was breathtaken over the two speaches to Kailash Satyarthi and Malala. They are two courageous persons with a leadership in them and a tremendous gift in speaking so that people listens and the message gets to people. I was so happy for that children are beeing heard. By Malala carrying the voice for millions of children and she has a courage that is like Jeanne D`Arc and that is also the meaning of her name. It is the name Malala given as Jeanne D`Arc of her country. And i was marked by the words that Malala want peace. She could not understand why they use so much money on warfare and so litle money for peacework and giving children the right to take education. And she wanted us to act now. And Kaylash Satyarthis last words in his speak is that he wanted the world to march for children and peace. And we must act now. Children of today is scared of terror even here in Norway and they speak about it. Many children are suspisious on strangers and a litle girl spoke to me today that she has been worried at school when some musicians just had entered the classroom because it was a surprise for the children. And i knew that society had changed here in Norway when the children dont feel safe at school. I will walk for peace the rest of my life. And i hope someone goes together with me on www.peacewalkers.com. I hope someone buys the domain and found the organization so people can walk. The more people get out into the society and the world for peace the safer children will get. We need to act to save theire lives and theire mental health. There will be more mental ill people in the years coming. And World Health Organization has estimated that in 2020 depression will be the worlds largest desise. I walk everyday for global health and peace and work with my books so that people can understand that it is okay to not have a good day. That life is a bit about suffering and to hold on strong during the hard days and knows that good days comes always around. But people need to act now to prevent illness and terror to develop. We have only one world and we need to take care of it now for the children, our familys and the worlds society. And i dont forget the animals that gives us so much happiness and fantastic moments in life. We need to protect the world. And the righ nobel peaceprizewinners won today. They gave so good speaches that people wanted to listen to them all over again.
I desided to walk today and go to my litle miracle friend with a present. It is my aunt child on 8 years old. And i gave her a magic book about magic tricks and illusions and i bought her christmas soda, bisquits and kinder egg in chocolate with an invention inside the eggs. She had visit of her best friend and they was decorating gingerbread houses and cackes. I was relaxing and eating gingerbreadcackes and candy and had a so good time and laughed so much. And we desided to do something together. The two children is so impressed by me writing novels and they want to learn so we desided to write a book together. So next week i start on a book project with this two girls on 8 years old and make them into writers. We will publish a special book about theire favourite place to go. It is the atlantic park here in Aalesund with aquariums and seals and pinguins. We write the book to help other children to have fun, be themselves and get bad thoughts away and be safe. The two girls is so good in telling stories that i laugh all the time together with them. I have had a special and happy day today and love these two litle girls. I cant save all the world but i can work in the litle and is looking forward to study the atlantic ocean together with my litle clever friends.
So never give up to people that suffers. You find courage after a while to be youreself and it has for me payed of my goals and all the painting and studies during my illness periode. Today i got a laminated paper from an organization for heartpeace i supported with a painting and it goes into my CV. So a good life prepeared to work again is building its form in my life. But i have a so good time together with my litle friends and other people and have my writing ( i am finished with three books ) that i might chose to work with art and writing. Have a good day, and never forget the children of today and make them safe and make them believe they can go for theire dreams even in a young age. They dont always need to wait until they are adults and Malalas courage shows that. Have a peacefull life :-)
I am writing a crimenovel in a new genre called fantasycrime novels. It is from the saying wich is often used in Norwegian : " It is not far from genious to idiot. " And means that the genious goes crazy and get mentall ill. The novel is that the hero in the novel is schizopfrenic and is relating to reality with voices and it is a new perspectic on God. In how God can work in a persons life to save a person back to a normal life and how to find true love. The novel show a suprising character in the main charater in the book. It is a woman going through todays beauty image in a different way, she takes a good deal of work to show personality and love and not sex and body. The woman gets hospitalised and very bad treated and the novel is inspired by a true story in a real life and many of the acctual stories in the book is from real life. The novel shows schizophrenia as a resouce and not a desease and explain reality and nursing in a ethical way in how to work to get well. It is meant that the novel gives cognitive theraphy as well as the person in the novel heals. She thinks that someone is after her and it shows when she runs away from the institution that someone is. A policeofficer working on the case with the womans disapperance finds out that there is more to the case, that also someone in the health care system also wanted her life.
The novels is expanding over all Europe and also USA and is explaining shizophrenia not as a desease that is dangerous but the diamond in the book that gives the hero true love and a life she never dreamed of. But the main thing is in the novel...is she really suffering from schizophrenia ? And who is really suffering from schizophrenia ?
The novel is putting the target on todays psyciatric treatment for psycosis that is not good. And i hope after the novel is finished that there will be a disgussion about what is the best treatment. And the novel shows beauty in all the patients written about in the book. The main message is : " Hold on and be strong... there is always help. "
Today i desided to celebrate all we have achieved in life my son and me. We have managed our goals in life and my son is doing very good in life with studies and work and has had exams before christmas. I desided to take him out on dinner on the most exclusive resturant in the city of Aalesund. But when we arriwed there my son desided that he was not so hungry that he would like me to pay so much for food. And he used his common sence that he is known for and guided me to a good Indian resturant i have never been to before. And it was an experience for the senses. It was so good food that we enjoyed it very much and had a very good time. And the atmosphere was good and we relaxed and talked and laughed. It is so good to be back to life again and i had desided to dress up and be all me again so i wore a dress and jewelry and felt good. It is so good for my son to see his mommy back in life again comfortable and secure and it is like winning a big lottery in life. Everyday gives me something to be happy for and i live a good life. I have my goals to work with and focus on the everyday happiness plan, because it is in the everyday we live. And sometimes like today we can do special things. It is like my life is turning into a dream or a fairytale that i have been through a storm and is back to a normal and happy life. All can change in youre life if you work with youre attitude towards everyday life and make special habits that makes you feel good and do them because it is not party all the time. And to live a simple life lets you do more work. It is easier to focus on what you really want and what to do. Because when you get happy in the everyday life you get peaceful and a lot of stress goes away. I live so happy right now that i have to pinch myself and sometimes i am so happy that tears of joy streams down my face. Because when you are in a situation you never thought would change of outer causes can take away youre hope for life and you are left with suffering. And all that is away. I have such a good and happy day making it good in life and reaching goals again and is cured from a mental illness. And to live better than many people is strange to see because i have high quality on life knowing that i am moving towards my dreams of life. I am writing, exercising, painting. hanging out with friends that comes and visit me and get phone calls everyday from people that loves me. And today to celebrate together with my son was a huge goal beeing fulfilled. Because it has been years since we did it the last time. My son had a great time and nothing makes me more happy. So to work with youreself and follow youre dreams no matter what it will cost i recomend people to do because you get a greater happiness and peace in youre life. problems go away and you get normal in all levels of life. So work for youre dreams it is the most precious gift because you turn into youre own true selv with more confidence and security and life gets happy. So dont put youre dreams on the shelf. Go for them in the litle and in the big issues and know whatever the situation is you can do it if you put youre mind to it. " Go For Youre Dreams And Turn Into Youre Own True Self. "
Since April i have gone down 25 kilos and it has nearly been an impossible diet since i have medication in the body that lowers the metabolism in the body. I took back all my nurse skills and my learnings from a natural diet teached at the nurse collegeuniversity and put it with some advices from myself and from a 92 year old patient that was stronger in the body than 20 years old people. He talked to me about lifestyle and food and he smoked sigarettes and was very healthy and not at least strong. I have reached my goal and is slim again but are exersising for toning the body and reshapen it again and i will lose some more weight because of that. Millions of people struggle with theire diet goals and some are on a diet all the time and think about food and lifestyle all the time. And that can give serious health problems because they dont have quality on life in theire diet and are to fixed at not eating anything that gives a lot of calories. I eat all the food i want and regulate it with exercise in a good way. And i am writing a diet book in what i have done and what to live after to get a figure that you like and is built for health. I dont slim to show a perfect body, but a body that handles life in a health based way. Today i got down in a pair of jeans size 30. And i soon fits back in all my old jeans. And i am off next week to buy new clothes for myself as a present to myself for making this impossible goal. All my secret is that the diet i follow you dont lose muscles. You keep them and stay strong. And i am very strong in my body. So i am about to teach in a book how to live in flow and diet down whitout thinking about food and how to set goals to reach for. And everybody will get the body they want in a easy way that makes you live a natural way with eating what you want. And it also allow you to eat snack and cakes etc... You form the diet toward youre own life and form youre goal and live a happy peaceful life by basic goals for youre life that makes you reach youre full potential. I have turned my all life around and work with myself everyday and that keeps me in flow nearly all the time. It is easy beeing in this life then. And to all people struggling to get healthy and slim. There is a easy way and my diet is good and makes a pluss to youre economy that you save money during the diet and get more muscles.
I exercise everyday and bicycle, walk and dance. And monday i start all over again in the gym to tone the body more to fit this life and make everyday a happy day. Everybody can lose weight when i managed to do it with medication and life problems that was not easy to handle and you never get mood swings out of my diet. It will be a book next year and i will work with a professional nutritionist that i met hospitalised for over a year ago. He liked the way i looked on food and how to manage to stay healthy and a business idea i had. He saied : " Call me when you get well and i might work for you. " That nutritionist was against protein shakes and powder and svore to a natural basic diet. And he is one of the best exercised man i have ever seen. But i stick to the advices from the 92 year old patient. That made my life easy and made me strong. But i have been exercising my whole life and that puts a ground basic to the muscles in the body. So today i celebrate the impossible beeing done with confidence and will and together with flow it has been a good journey back to the real and natural life again. So get in youre life best shape by never giving up even on bad days. It is easy to go down in weight you just need patientse and flow. When you have that you can do the impossible !!! " Get the body you want by forming life goals and make youre diet natural and easy to live with. "
Everyday is worth a lifetime to live for and to value life is the most precious thing in life. And i have a very good day. I started the day early and went to the doctor and he agreed in not giving me medication if i saied yes to a closer work with him. So now i am starting on the road back to myself again because i am not ill by Schizophrenia. And i am solid at ease, confindent, happy and have a lot of peace in my heart and mind. I went afterwards to the bank to get a litle loan to a new computer, smartphone and a photographer to my book that will be published in about two weeks from now. I got approved as a writer for some days ago and can give out my self help book. I think it will work good on most people and give hope and courage. The best thing is to live in reality because we do all get bad days. And it is the secret to change them to a happy day and make humour out of the bad days. We are humans and react to life. The secret it to stay with God and live a peaceful life. It is not a boaring life, there is always much to do. But the magic was that i lowered my goals and got more done. And now i am writing on two more selfhelp books that explains a bit more. It is easier for me to write in norwegian because i write better on my main language.
After i had written for today and had a very good dinner i went for a walk and to collect my mail. I got a surprise. I got a letter from the Norwegian Childrenombudsman ( i cant find a better translation but it is from the gouvernement for children that takes care of children in Norway ). I wrote to them about two cases as a nurse for one month ago, and got a very good and happy answear that the cases i wrote about for children in Norway is filed and is to be considered for working with for years ahead. I got so happy because the cases for children has worried me for years. And they heard my prayers for children here in Norway. So i am so happy that Norway in some years will be a even better country for children and families if they work with the cases.
I see that struggle and never ever giving up will is the best to take with you. It can take a bit longer time. But by patientse, peace and love all youre fights close to youre heart will work out good. And today i got a letter good enough answear to put in my CV. I am the first one telling about the problems in the two cases. To see the world as it is can be hard and drive you into grieve and depression. But hard work and love gets the problems solved. I love life at this moment so much because i have always felt so priviledged that i had responsibility to work for others. And i chosed to follow my heart and that is never wrong. The letter from the Childrenombudsman is a evidence that i am not Shizophrenic and i am so happy to recover again. And maybe my whole diagnoze was just misunderstandings. I really dont know. I have an advice to give to all readers, never ever give up and sometimes take the challenge and fight for others that is not so easily heard. It gives you even more courage and confidense and the best part peace of mind at heart and soul. " Sometimes You Must Dare To Give All That You Got. "
Some days just comes around even how good you have it. Yesterday was the happiest day of my life. But i live with medication. It is a very low dose but it gets me tired. And it seem like the better i get in my mental state the worse the side effects are. I woke up today feeling bad and tired. I got to bed again and slept for a while. I listened to the rain poaring at my window and i smiled and felt good even in a bad state of life. I pray and that helps me from getting down in depression. And to work with self confindence all the time helps, because you need to practise and do things you can and master to have self confindence all the time. Today i just drifted away. Made coffe and walk around in a one-piece that is grey with patterns on the chest. I just had a cosy time. Knowing to make life easy when you have bad days and dont pick on youreself at bad days. Just comfort youreself and know that a feeling bad day is not for a lifetime. So hold on through the day by turning it around by doing things you like. I talked to my budgie Happy and gave her food and water. And watched tv and just sat around having a good time with coffe and tv knowing that my life is easy and not hard to manage. Bad days always gets you and sometimes when you dont understand why. It is a fact of life that we get exposed to life that it is not all happiness the whole time. Use youre imagination and invite someone to you when you have bad days. Today my son came to visit me for dinner and we went to shop and we had planned to make fajitas, but my son wanted something cosy and regular and that was pancackes with blueberry jam to. I was hungry and when my son arriwed at my place everything i felt bad about went away. And we had a good time for some hours. And we had good laughs and watched animal planet and discussed life and what he is planning to go for in education. He dont get pushed by me but i leave him to deside all for himself, but i give good advice. But i know he is wise enough to go for his own dreams. He wants to study abroad. And i hope he does. The student life is some of the lifes most happy days. It is the days when the glory days can strike in. And you get youre glory days when you live presense to here and now and have visions for the future that is possible to achieve. Today i just was all me. I did not try hard to be at my best. I just easen down and went from moment to moment. And the day turned cosy and happy in blowing weather with rain. We lighted candles and celebrated the time before christmas and my son gave me a job today i got very honoured to do. And that is to draw his tatoo. He has designed a tatoo together with a man from Venezuela over the net, but it costed a bit and he wanted to draw it over again and he saw some plates i have painted by free hand in china porcelain and he got impressed. So i got the job drawing his tatoo. It is a very beautiful and kind tatoo, really one of the best and most meaningful chosies i have seen that goes together with my sons life and his beliefs and values. I am so proud and have a really good time. Knowing that bad days always turns and that you can get more happy than ever on such days by getting people around you, even though you dont think you manage much life shows you that you manage more than you think. When i am well i am very high functioning and that is why i fall apart when bad days comes around but i know they go away. And today i got the most honourable job i have ever gotten in my life. So new experiences comes around every day and not at least to get to know that someone loves you for all you are worth even on youre worse days. So i stay happy for the rest of my life. Knowing that bad days goes away and it is only stages. Be creative and get people around you and just tell that you have a bad day. Maybe you are just perfect on a bad day also because the imperfect can really be the perfect when you look at it because it is real :-) " Remember that you dont need to try so hard all the time. Sometimes it is enough just beeing you for real. That it was just to let you see that you are loved no matter what happens to you. "
Today is my lifes most happy and beautiful day and i have not words to eaxplain it but i reached my life goal. My son came home from studies and work in Oslo and have a great time there. He is a very solid, peacefull and happy young man making it good in life. I have been so happy over this happening to him. And today he was at my place and we talked about a lot and then he saied : " Thank You Mommy For A Happy Childhood And We Have Had It Better Than Most People. " I got so happy and relaxed knowing that i made the life biggest succes to form a happy child by following him on his own way. Not the way i wanted for him but by his confidence, trust and love beeing together with him on his journey and it has been the most joyfull journey in the entire world. I never wanted another place than beside him. Never to walk in front of him and sometimes behind him and let him lead me to forgotten treasueres in the childhood world. It has been like Phantasia but in the prayers by God. Because people have imagination and it is also a part of God. There is so much more to life than just beeing something working in a god job. I did not had a job for years. But i could be at home taking care of my son and i desided to make it the best i ever got. And today i got the rewards. Life happens and i got ill by outer cases, but it did not disturb my parenting work. And i dont look at it as work. But like a guide in love by all you got. It has been planning, structure, tidying and a lot of rock and roll. My son is a very good guitar player and i asked him today about making a record whithout text to see through and not to be lead by text. It can save a lot of mental ill people and all others wanting to get the feeling and not always the words. I love my son so much that i have not words for it. And i made my life goal with working in love. It has been the best journey in life and i never left him behind. And knowing that i made my goal and that he loves life and stay happy with confidence and is a good friend makes my heart at peace. I am not a runner anymore, but a walker that goes through life by peace. To have the full attention to people that needs me. I am so kind that more people get into my life and i see them be happy and relaxed and it is the best compliment i can get. So to all mothers and fathers. Follow youre children always and never let them alone. Show them you care everyday and sometimes several times a day. We have been all from McGyver to Harry Potter to Indiana Jones. And i have to thank a horse named Quality Dreamer for giving my child a lot of confidence by working with this horse. The horse was very speacial and the first part we had him not easy to handle but he gave love to my son from day one. To have something that gives confidence and always being led to youre own identity and choises and to be able to follow youre own dreams with a litle help forms a happy child. I have loved my son before i gave birth to him and today my whole posture changed. I got straight in the back again and in stamina because i made the life greatest love and succes in the world and i never stop loving my son. It is easy doing this by heart. It feels better in my life right now than winning an Oscar or Olympic Gold medal. I invested time in what was most important to me and it payed off. I never leave you my son ! I love you with all my heart ! :-) " Be youreself and play it is the best advice i can give a parent it makes loving easy. "
Today is a great day even though i have been to the doctor for stomache pains. I nearly fainted and trow up because of pain. But i got help and took Ibux to recover and it helped. I live by the moments and walk on easily and dont stay in trouble and pain and have by the years developed a lot of self esteem even though i have been diagnosed with a mental illness. It is stronger to have self esteem living by a diagnose and have some issues to work with every day. But it is possible to be symptom free and live a natural good life. Everybody can recover from a mental illness. There is always hope and i have written a different book whithout diagnosis. Because we are not our diagnose and most of the time normal. To tell you the truth it is harder to live with anxiety than psycosis in some cases because there are negative and positive symptoms in a psycosis. But my main goal is that diagnosis should go away. It is the persons own personal life story that means something and looking at a persons life there always will be something to find in what can cause anxiety, depression or psycosis. And all can go away with coaching, nursing and the love towards God. That you know that something higher helps you out. It is fully possible to get even stronger than before recovering from illness and have a more happy life because you value youre life different. When you get into a illness change youre goals. Go for what is possible even if it is so easy to manage a dinner with friends. Be open and not hide away. But you dont need to tell all the world that you suffer. To be strong is to be not scared about what other people say about you. When you met youre life and youre goals you see that the sun shines through. But with making goals know that life can happen and dont get worried or devastated if you dont reach youre goals. Mostly what people wants is inner peace, peace of mind, happiness and joy and not at least to feel safe and relaxed. The self help book is how to get in harmony with youreself and meeting life. There is a good life waiting for everybody and the book can be read by people not having problems as well. It is to tell you that you are perfect the way you are and dare to show the world youre inner self. Not the person you believe you are by a mental illness, but the person you really are all healthy. The book will be published in about 3 weeks on e-bok here in Norway and i am searching for a transelator over to english to present the self help book for the world on kindle, amazone and apple. I hope the book can help as many as possible to always keep safe and be at inner peace and having a good life no matter what happens. I have that. Troubles comes around. But i stay confident and dare to blogg about symptoms the most people try to hide away from the rest of the world and end up in isolation. My main goal is that everybody can live free, safe and happy lifes and be strong no matter what so that they dare to meet life and create a happy and normal family that always is best friends. I have a very good life and am happy today. I have had visits of friends and lighted candles in the winter coming around. It is soon christmas and my hope for the book is that someone can celebrate theire best christmas ever by looking at the world with new eyes and with a true heart. I hope you all are in strong health and if someone suffers, Never give up and my book is on the way. I am nearly a living miracle after all i have been through and there is always help. Dare to look for the best help you can get. And stay youre true self. Then the worlds opens up and you get it better than ever. Good Luck To You All !!! :-) " There is always an answear and always help - never ever give up. "
This movie was extremly popular when it was released and i saw it and thought it was very good. The man in the film still works as a professor and has recovered from schizophrenia. He teaches classes today and is extremly good. I have not been as ill as this man was in the movie and is not as great mind as he is. My intention for life is to live easy and have a happy and social life. But it seems like someone wont let me go. Thursday i was out two times. One time exercising at the gym and one time at a two and a half hiking trip with dinner aferwards with a friend. When i arriwed home i showered and relaxed and did not notise for late night that someone had been inside the appartment and moved on some things. I keep it tidy but not catalogue tidy. I like homes that show that people lived there. I saw that my pen and pencils was all lines up in a basket and i never do this. And the pictures i have on the refigerator and the magnets was moved on and some picture i had not hung up was moved on. I got scared and thought immediatly : " If someone was after me they would have done something to my medicine locker ? " I went stright ahead to the medicine locker and it has been empty for years and i took it out of a closet from the house i moved out from and at that time it was empty. I looked inside it because i had seen in it for some days ago and it was empty then also. But thursday i found a packet note about a medication that is awful. It was no tablets there only prescription in how to use the drug. I called the police straight ahead and they got the evidence and they want to go through who has keys to the appartment. There is several keys to the appartment. I called around all my family to ask if some of them had use the drug when i was away but nobody had. So someone dont want me to relax and manipulate me in an awful way. I am a bit scared not feeling completly safe, but i am all relaxed inbetween and sleep well. I dont understand why someone wants to do this towards me. But i hope the Police finds out something. I could have gotten a nervous breakdown but i am strong and has been through this before for three years ago. But nobody believed me. And i dont have evidence for that case. It is possible to click a person into schizophrenia by doing this to someone. And it is a hard crime sentence doing this towards somebody. I cant fight this alone. And i dont have much evidence, but i write my crime novel inspired by a true story to get the story right and find the person(s) doing this to me. Someone dont want me to be well and happy but lock me in at a mental institution and i really dont know why. I go with my case at the hospital to UN and The Human Right Court in Strazbourg and has gotten all the information and schemes from UN`s office here in Norway. To break human rights with isolation for seven months with max 20-30 times outside is torture against a human and you can get psycotic of this. I kept my reality by the love of God and i talked to myself to hold out the lonely hours inside the closed unit. I am ready to fight for myself, my son and other people beeing treated bad in the psyciatric field and for the human rights to be held by all time by Norway. I read in the paper some days ago that this area in Norway is the one using most forced treatment on patients. I am not so very scared. But have the will to go for the case to have the right to live a good and easy life to recover again. I am educated as a nurse and has read the law for Norway and The Human Rights. The hospital broke many laws, Norways law, UN`s CRPD and The Human Rights. I really dont know why they treated me so bad but there must be a reason and i am about to find the reason. I will write on Monday to get all my hospital journal and see who wrote subjective and who wrote objective and what they wanted out of the treatment. In my journal of prosedure in treating me there was a line that saied i should not proffit on anything. And that speaks for itself. I should not have it kind and it seemed like they did not want me to get well. I was upset by this. And i really dont know how they can treat patients well by doing it this way. Psyciatric treatment is to be accepting, kind, loving and lead the patient until the patient can lead themselves. They told my son under a meating that i could not put my thoughts together. And he had not seen me for over a year, and he was in pain. But when he met me he got so happy and relieved because i could get my thoughts together, and at that time i wrote a whole book with quotes. I have not written the quotes here. They are written in documents ready to go to a publisher and is to people in illness, crisis, grieve, depression and anxiety to get well and hold out anything until better times comes along because it always does. The book will be published as a e-book and ready for all the world in english. And to all people having a rough times. Hold out anything and complain about bad treatment as a patient and in regular life. Dont let people ruin youre reality by telling you that it is not true. But find someone you trust talking to, it can be better than treatment with reason and conclusions by someone else. I got that in my life and it saves me. People have different challenges in theire life and it is okay to fight for youre rights. It may save others to. I hope everybody on earth can live free life with control over theire own dreams and theire goals. And when you get to be youreself completly you often find out that you dont want to go so far with youre goals. So find a best friend. They are always there and let them come with theire meaning it is easier to let go of problems then. I hope you see the film " A Beautiful Mind " and knows that shizophrenia is not dangerous in 97. 5 % of the cases. And it is possible to be cured. I watch the whole film again next week with soda and potatochips and relaxing and having a good time. Dont let other people ruin youre life. And seen from a different perspective it can be that you dont got a diagnoze. Hold on and be strong. " Let best friends be there for you and listen to them. Together you can find the reality and the correct answear - Thank you so much my best friend in life. I love you ! "
Today is a great day after i cleansed myself out of thoughts of the world. I stay in my litle world at the islands and has studied The Mona Lisa silk print i got in a vintage store in April this year. To see a picture can take time and i have gone over the mysteries with this picture and thought about it on my own way. I studied it for over an hour and got to know that Mona Lisa probably was a bit anxious and worried when the painting was in action. It was huge at that time to be painted and Leonardo Da Vinci was a great painter and she knew it. She was proud, a bit shy, wise, wivvid and very kind. By the look in her eyes she probably had a funny secret and that was probably that she was in love with someone that knew about the painting and it was not Leonardo Da Vinci that was not obsessed by this woman but kind to her and tried to make her relax by telling her humourus stories. He was a great storyteller. Most likely was Mona Lisa part of a community that was writing and painting, you can tell that by her hands and her fingers. I have that myself. She had most likely a passionate temper not trying to be the most beautiful person in the world. Her hair is carefree and not done so much with. She was natural. Mona Lisa wanted to contribute to something. Very mysterious with humour and fun. Probably she was easy going to be together with. Leonardo Da Vinci wanted to show her at peace and relaxed. But then again it was huge for Mona Lisa to be painted by him. They shared something special. Leonardo Da Vinci was not sexual attracted to Mona Lisa. He cared for her and had her as a friend. They shared something that will be a secret for all ages. Leonardo Da Vinci was very kind towards Mona Lisa and made history painting her, and now the history also has a litle piece here with me with the silk print and it is a good picture. Nearly the same size as the real Mona Lisa in Louvre. I have made my own story about the painting and it is just gessing. But i look at Mona Lisa and someone she was in love with knew about the painting and i guess she married and had a baby not long time after the painting. She got known for her beauty and natural behaviour after the painting. You must remember that in that time there was no photography at all. It was huge to be painted. It is one of the best paintings in the world. I guess she had fallen for a very kind man that also might have seen the picture during painting. There was communities that worked together. Mona Lisa was very kind. She had stamina and a peacefull grace. And is one of the most remembered woman in the world. So if i contribute with my artistic wiev on the picture and my way of seeing it. I have studied art and people all my life and have a good eye for people in kindness. And see them as they are. I love art and want to travell the world to look on art. I have several books about art and each picture tell a story and some has messages and wants us to react. I guess Leonardo Da Vinci wanted to help a woman on her way through in kindness of a woman writing and painting herself. Maybe she was a muse of him. We never get to know. But maybe sometime we get to know what she was writing and painting. She was very accurate and in perfection in what she worked with. Everybody has theire own mystery and we never get to know in all cases what is wrong and what is right. I have just thought free around the picture and letting it tell the story i got out of it. I hope you enjoy the picture and the song and maybe you one day stand in Louvre, Paris and see the real painting. I have studied Leonardo Da Vinci for years and he was an extremly kind man wanting the best for the world on all levels. He was a master and a genious. " You can open youre mind with art and see beyond it and the picture can tell you its own story. "
Some say that the truth will set you free. And i have a pretty hard time in my life right now but are managing good. Something happened some years ago and that was that i met a man from New Orleans here in our city Aalesund the 16. May 2004. I was young and with no worries and extremly happy in my life. It was only one night out on the city and the day after was the 17. May and our national day so i decided with all my love to leave the man to go home to my son and celebrate our constitutional day in happiness. Because it has been the best day of the year for my son and me. It is the kids day with parades, flags, games and contests and a lot of ice cream and i have loved this day all my life. But the day is all ruined for me. Today i called the main office for UN in Norway and it was a hard call but i have to make it. I was to late to talk to them today and will call again tomorrow. Because i have been treated so bad hospitalised and also because of the man in met in 2004. I did not fall in love with him. But he was so kind to me and i felt home together with him. But i know that things always needs time and i had to chose my son because we had had a rough time. But i left the man wich i never reveal the name of because i want to protect him. I know not much about that man but he was a billionare and i got sad the day after because money can make problems. I wished that he did not had money. But i left him thankful and in care for making me feel a whole lot better in my life and i felt happiness together with him and we laughed a lot. We had a great time together. I cared so much for that man that i prayed for him in love for accepting me as i am when i am all me. He promised to come back to me but we never met again. But it was a good memory for life. I was not worried for him at all. But when i heard about the storm " Katarina " i got worried a lot. And i prayed the all time for him and the people of New Orleans when it was on the news in Norway. I was scared and worried and knew it would be bad. But i never dreamed it would be so bad. I prayed for years for that the man had to live together with the ones he love and i somehow think he does. But i have been in greave over all the things happening to the world and also to USA. I have loved the country since i knew about it as a litle girl. I have been there several times and has had a very good time " Over There " and like the people a lot. I wanted to go to Minnesota on Horse Back Riding after i saw the " Horse Whisperer " with Robert Redford and i know how to whisper to horses myself, i have studied it a lot. And managed it good on my own horse " Camaro " as we called him in regular life but his real name was " Quality Dreamer " and he was a former Race Horse that was after us.horses of Hannover line. The horse saved my life and was so kind that he lied down for my son in love to him. Quality Dreamer is with me everyday and i hope to go back to the horses.
It is a question to me why it is so hard to go back to a natural basic country life. But the truth is Psyciatric treatment and a unit did not treat me good. They isolated me and gave me not proper food. I lost all will of life in that unit and tried to take my own life. So i know how hard life can be. To lose the will of life is hard but when you are treated so bad that you are forced into such an action something is extremly wrong because i am extremly kind and the unit knew it from earlier. I called the Police today to tell them about things that are important for the investigation of the hospital and why because the Police are investigating the hospital for breaking the health care law, UN`s CRPD and Human Rights ( i was not allowed to go out more than ca. 20-30 times in 7 months ) It was hard and i got wrong medications and got paralyse and deprivation in the body and lost a lot of weight. I was sendt to another hospital also and that was done against the law. I did not want to leave my son. And they did not give me information about my family at all. I was so scared but fought all i could to get my life back. And still do. But the thing i dont understand is why some of the nurses at the unit talked about the man i met in 2004. They tried to trigg me out, and i got worried, scared and angry. They are not allowed to do this. I am hurted because of a man i met that i loved so much that i did not want him. I wanted him to have a good life and i never wanted to hurt him or argue with him. Sometimes a love comes around that you love someone so much that you want to set them free and only stay as a memory. I hope the man is doing good. But i need to forget and walk my case. Because i walk everyday for the purpose of my life and that is to live in peace. I want children to grow up safe and i understood the world would be bad after 9/11 and was so sorry about the loss of people for the world. Because if you live in a country you can travell and we met people from all over the world no matter where we are. We are global citizens. And we need to walk in peace. I talked to my brother today and i told him that i walk for years for peace. If i do it on my own it is okay, but i hope more will follow me and i saied to my brother : " Money talks - People Walks ". It is possible to live a good life on less money because you dont need a million dollars to look like one. But i dont like to dress up so often and use easy basic clothes because i dont think it is natural to use hours in the bathroom because we all have a personality and that shines through always and i prefer to be kind and dress up at some occations when it is needed. It is possible to find clothes good in vintage stores. I bought a dress there that i after a while found out that Madonna had one simmilar but mine is more beautiful than her vintage dress and i gave only 20 usd for it. And after i have diet down the dress fits again now. And i will wear it for christmas. Celebrate the days coming around in happinness it is soon christmas and if you have troubles search inner peace no matter how the situation are because then the problems dont look to big to handle and you get self esteem to take the action you need because youre emotions dont take over and you dont do something stupid.
I write a lot these days by hand i have not gotten internett yet in my new appartment. But i dont like it there because it has very low standard and the heating expences will be expensive because whitout warming there get cold. So i decided by myself to move to England. And i have looked for houses there and it is cheaper to rent than in Norway and i have lost all my feeling of that Norway is secure by hospitalisation, so i move to a country with better psyciatric treatment that wont take the risk of breaking the law. All people have the right to live a free life in the world and that is what i fight for. I had not done anything wrong and had a volounter hospitalisation and got treated so bad. I have decided to fight for everybody with mental problems so they get good treatment, because there is all the skills and the money in the world to give good treatment. I got that in the end and got well. It is care and kindness. And when a person get to use theire talents all problems goes away. Even mentall illness. Live in the free life and dare to fight for youre rights. A hospital is the one true place where the law should be in safe hands. But it was not in my case.
I have hard times but good days. Me and Happy talks and i walk in rain and wind for peace and get a health care benefit also. I get in shape. I have done some Zumba also because i love to dance and it is good to stay in work it takes away depression and meaningless things. I am in ground level happy and at peace even though i have a hard time.
I move to England and does a make over on this blogg to get into vintage and good bargains to show how you can create a life out of a hopeless situation. So stay in there always and never give up. The sun alway shines again - even on rainy days.
Have a great day in a beautiful life and remember that you are beautiful in all you do because there is only one of you so tace care, somebody loves you even friends that has not found you yet so stay in there always we live on the most beautiful planet in this universe :-)
And by the record... the police hung up on me, so something is going on that i dont understand. We all have the right to be treated equal and be heard. So tomorrow i call UN`s main office here in Norway. So i tell you more about how it goes soon...to be continued...
" Money talks and People Walks - Walk for Peace - You Can Make It Through. "
Life is not the most easy thing in the world. We can get problems and some problems seems like they dont go away. But with asking the Lord Above for help and in prayers you get help. I am a christian and practise it in my own way. I have not changed my personality or the life i live much. But i got cured from a mental illness believing in God and constantly praying because something happens in youre cognitive behaviour when you pray. You easen down thoughts, conflicts and it grew from this a love to the Lord above that keeps me happy nearly thorugh all troubles and i manage to live a happy life with inner peace. It can take a time before you get stamina enough to pray nearly constantly but you change youre mental attitude to you have a guardian stronger than anything by youre side and it keeps you in joy, happiness and not at least love. Yeasterday i prayed for help in my regular day. I was at inner peace but did not have so much fun. The society is build up on perfection and to be fun all the time. But God want us to have inner peace because we are humans and many things can cause stress in our lives. I dont need much attetion i give people attention and is present in every moment because of my prayers and people seem to get joy and peace to be together with me. Love grow in others from kind people with love for orher humans.
Yesterday i was at the grocerystore, i struggle a bit in finding the food i like because i am food tired. I dont know what to make and is bored with this. But i asked for help and found food i love and that got me happy and relaxed. A good meal gets you thankfull and happy and give you peace and relaxation. At the grocery store i took a note from kirkens sos. It is a help telehopne in Norway and you can call them if you have problems. I called because i feel the society is so cold and that people put stigmatisation on people with diagnosis. And i met a loving lady that helped me a lot. I asked them for help to start a collect to children in war because that was one of the problems in why i got ill. I broke down seeing a girl that had lost her parents in shooting and she had seen it and was so scared that i had never seen a more scared person in my entire life. I wanted to help her but could not. But the church - sos heard my prayers and wanted to go with me on a collect to children in war to bring them pillow, warm blankets ( dyne in norwegian ), shoes, clothes and teddy bears. The woman i talked to needed to talk to others but she wanted to start it with me. I was so happy yesterday that my prayers was herd and i fell asleep happy and at peace.
Today i woke up to a new day. It is good weather and life smiled to me. I sat on the terasse just sensing in the mood of the island with the fresh air and seagulls and a sense of beeing all me again. My aunt came to me at 12:00 and we went to christian vintage store with a litle cafeteria. I met so many good people talking to me and wanting me to have a good life. And i met a psyciatric nurse and we talked about psyciatri and that i am going to lead a group of patients in cognitive behaviour. I told her she had to say to all her patients that people do get recovered. People was so kind to me that hapiness was boosting in me together with inner peace and i bought a book about believing in that for God anything is possible. And a plate in glass in different colours in blue and purple. I did not give more than 3 dollars for it all. Vintage stores is fun because you can do good bargains and thing can be nearly new in the store. And i am going back to buy books next week because i dont have much money this week.
I live in the litle with a great love from the Lord above that gives me possibilities to live a happy life. In that you dont need to be rich to make it through. You can nearly play magic with youre money if you look for sale and in vintage stores. I have a good beautiful appartment and beautiful things, and all has come to me through the secret - that you attract the things you need in life. I think it is lead by the Lord above that if you focus on the positive in life you get the positive in life.
You dont need a million dollars to look like one. You can do magic in scanning the stores and go a bit the extra mile to get good bargains. Find out what you need and write it down and stick to that plan and give it a go to ask God for help. He gives you what you need. And i need a social life and got it. And i function on a high level and stay kind in prayers for others, myself and the world. That people get what they need, and right now i focus on children at war to give the refugees what they need as a basal care. It is all i can do, but to help others is sometimes the road to healing and perfect love. Because what you give comes back to you. So love youreself and stay as kind as you can and you will see miracles happening. There is no need to be worried or scared. It is just to find the comfort of Gods love in prayers. And when you love God nothing can break you. Because you get a new dimmension in life that holds you away from problems and conflicts and you react different on them by letting go in forgivness at once and then you are free. " Forgive and Forget is the Road To Personal Freedom. "
