An everyday life in magic is formed by you're dreams - let them shine down from above and keep you in spirit by seeing that God want you to be loved and reach you're dreams.
Some times something more reveals itself and a wise old lady in the family gave me something i chase all my life. My true journey started when my son was born and i was all mommy and it gave me back life to see a happy and peaceful child in my arms. And he still is peaceful and a grown man giving me good advices and reality check. We talk very good together. We are conversationers and love people. But now he is grown and i have to face a different world, and with Pegas One - the horse that saved my life with being for me the real Black Beauty there came back memories from my childhood. And something i forgot. The old wise lady knew that i was not happy as a child. I wrote letters to her and composed poems to her by the seaside. I was a dreamer. And i lied together with my brother listening to : " The never ending story " . The old wise lady gave me one day an ivory ball. And i did not know how valuable it was before i got back to horses. There is thousands of ivory balls in the world. But the one she gave me was very old and was so little. It was not bigger than a marble and had three balls. And she said : Noone will never understand the smallest ball ". She also said : " Guard it with you're life. " It got stolen and i remember what happened. And i know it exists today but i don't know where it is. She said : " There is only three of them in the world and it will help you as an adult. " I sat often with the ivory ball and dreamed, and my dreams got more beautiful than phantasia and with Pegas One i have tried to write the real story about my life and mysteries and that we can grow as humans on illness and show that you're biggest fear can become you're largest strength. I go when i am well again out on an adventure. To find back the ivory ball. And if someone should read this and know something please contact me. The old lady also said : " This is some of the mysteries by God, Jesus and the Holy Ghost - but i call the Holy Ghost the Holy Spirit. More i can't write right now i am in a hurry working with domains.
Sometimes life take a change you never thought you would take. And you can feel fear. You struggle for life and all you fear can reveal to become you're best friend and give you more love than you ever had before and even bring you closer to you're family with you're new experiences. I feared psychiatric treatment and patients with schizophrenia and other mental illnesses. I have believed so wrong. It is people like all other people and the strangest thing is that they show more natural feelings and are extremely intelligent and show me with their experiences that i don't live a boring life at all. But a rich life with interactions with humans and animals. The things you have feared can become you're closest friends and then you grow stronger. A reality check is often good to take. And sometimes you need to do it with other people. The best person to do it with is someone that knows you're whole life and love you for all its worth no matter what you say or do. Don't be so scared to people all over the world. It is friends in all people, but different kinds of emotions and different missions in life. I have decided to go public with my true mission in life and my wish since i was a little girl. It is Peace On Earth. I work for this in the small spaces and see that my work holds value. Even if it is just in the small spaces of life. Don't be scared of mental ill people - they can become you're best friend and even dream for you when you lost you're way and you're dreams. I have a good day and in the tunnel it is tagged with graffiti there stands " Tunnel Of Love. " There also stands Angel and angels comes in different disguise. The world is full of them if you look closer and if all the world could look closer and slow down they could see miracles happen and healing of all mental ill people and prevent it for the coming generations. Live in Peace - you don't need to have less fun. The paradox is that you will end up having more fun and even laugh at a anxiety attack. People with mental illness can be surprisingly strong and have the courage to stand alone. I don't stand alone, but have sortened out some of the missions in life by living more clear and with less speed. Peace to you - and have a good laugh together with the people always dreaming. There is no change without some looneys :-)
Today i was at home and to the stable. It has been a fantastic day. On the road back we have to pass some tunnels. In the next last tunnel at " Lerstadveien " ( Lerstadroad) there is a tunnell and it was written on the wall with HUGE letters " Angel " - and something more i did not see because we passed so fast. I told about it in the unit because i laughed and have people i dont know saving me. And one nurse answeared : " All Commercial Is Good Commercial " - i dont know who has made this but i thank them for showing me that people care about me - even if i dont know them. It got me to think on younger days when i danced break dance and had a good and happy time. More up soon :-)
Today i listened to music i listened to twelve years ago ( i got a cell phone that is walk man phone and is 12 years old and is an ericsson ) - listen to Garth Brooks and what he sings about that the woman is " on bought side of the fence " - i did not understand it before now. And it makes my heart boost with love to Garth Brooks and take him back as a musician i listened a lot to.
To laugh a litle bit, we talked good and warm in the unit and a patient want to start a Bar like the one Toby Keith sings about in PS i love this bar. Enjoy two good musicians. I hang out in the patients bar when he starts it :-)
I cant write much because i am hospitalised and i am reading nurse theory of evidence based treatment. My budgie is protected and in guard of my aunt child and she has tamed her and Happy belongs to her now. I have given her away. A good childhood is with my aunt child and she will understand her schizophrenic aunt when she grows up. This girl has suffered a lot and has had leukemia and is recovered. I have followed her with all my heart. And Happy is at the place i wanted her to be :-) Some secrets might never been told :-) Happy saves lifes. The budgie like Metallica more than Mozart, but loves most my aunt childs singing :-) Love life and God above he finds sollutions on prayers :-) Give the freebirds food and they saves you out :-)
