In Memory Of A War Sailor From Second World War

I take this day to honour and remember my Grandfather Sverre Roald. He sailed out second world war on Hk Gladesdale. He was such a good grandfather with a smile, a humming tone and a straigth back and a budgie. He learned me tricks as a litle girl in a kind way that i did not have to use before i was an adult. In a kind way he prepeared me that the society could change and that war could happen. He was such a wise man. One time we were a lot of kids together and i got teased a lot, but i did not get angry. He laughed and gave me 5,- norwegian krone. All the kids got jelous and they stopped teasing me. And i could go and buy an ice cream that nobody of the other kids had. I remembered how proad i was in a very peacefull way. He had small learning lessons to us kids. And was always kind. I can never remember him raising his voice. He fought for peace his entire life. And lived a calm and peacefull life together with my grandma in a small house i want to buy back in the family and live there. I remember him as a safe guardian that is never lost. One time i got teased a lot by some girls and i was unhappy. He sang to me in the tones of " Moon River " but it was not moon river he sang, but " Blue river ", and i found the song when i was an adult this year. Because a lot has happened that makes me remember him like he is still with me. Right before he died he gave me my grandmothers favourite ring, and he asked me to wear it. It is a gold ring with purple stone and very beautiful. I could have written a book about my grandfather and HK Gladesdale, that served Norway and was on the terrible D- day in Normandie. But he managed to stay good all his life by beeing there for us. And i was a very talketive girl that made him laugh. His bugie i managed with all my will to give my grandparents as a christmas gift, and he managed to get the budgie " Julius " to talk and get very tame. This is one of the reasons i got my own budgie, to remember all the fun my grandfather had with the budgie " Julius ". Second world war ended, but the war for the warsailors never ended. They stod strong and safe together as brothers to prevent war until the day they died. But some lives still. And next year it is to be remembered it is 70 years ago that second world war ended. And freedom came back to the world. I thank my grandfather so much for teaching me good as a child, from what to serve a child, in how to clean up, to as a five year old setting a adrenalin injection and trusting me for making it if it was needed. My grandmother was allergic to wasps. They thought me so nice and in a good way to be a woman taking care of children, and they managed to teach me how to celebrate christmas good. In memory and a blessing for life in my grandfather i put out Blue River. Thank you grandpa for saving my life even after you were gone :-)
" People remembered in our harts is never lost. "

Kind Day

It has been an extremly kind day. It just started out good with no fatigue in the morning. And Happy was all crazy today. She song and jumped around her cage the whole day. I did some housework in the morning and had coffe outside and a neighbour stopped talking to me when he got his newapaper for the morning. I will miss him a lot when i move, but he has promised to visit me. At 12:00 i got fetched by a nurse for taking a walk by the beach. My son just got up at that time, he had spent the whole night out with friends. And he played guitar. He is very good and played " Sheperd of fire " with Advenged Seven Fold and i got that song on my mind with a smile. I love this band, but mostly when my son playes his guitar. We walked by the seaside and had a good talk. There is extremly beautiful with a long sandbeach with sandbanks. We sat on some rocks for a while talking about a novel i am writing and it is an action thriller and very many links in the novel. It has suprises and is filled with action. It is fun to write, but it take a time because i have to get the plot to be thrutworty. The nurse wanted to read it. It is not often i feel small, but today i did. This nurse following me is a kind male on 202 cm. We laughed and had a good time. It is like my mind get washed when i go by the seaside. It is like all thought clutter just go away by the breeze and the sound of waves and i am truly me by the seaside. I have always spent a lot of time by the seaside.
Afterwards i got home, welcomed a new friend in my heart and blogged. Afterwards i stayed outside on the terasse and Phersephone the cat came along. I havent seen her in weeks. She has moved to another place. But she was skinny and i felt bad about her and gave her food. But she was not so very hungry. I have not seen her kittens so i dont know if she managed to bring them up. But she stayed outside my house for some hours in the sun.
My sister invited me for dinner. My son was invited to his grandparents on dinner. So i saied " Yes ! " very happy and thankfull, because it was Lasagna and i had forgot to eat today. I ate a lot and my sister had also made a special Tapas sauce with carrots, paprika, chili, garlic and bread in it. It was delicious, and i sat together with my aunt child that was so happy over guests to dinner that she could not sit still. She told something all the time and make jokes. Our litle miracle girl make me laugh so much that i got tears in my eyes. She made a suprise for me. And sat for nearly an hour doing something i was not allowed to see. And after she was finished i got a bracelet from her handmade in white and pink. It is beautiful and i have promised myself to wear it all the time to make her and me happy. The most precious and beautiful things is what a child can make for you. Make them happy by using jewelry they make all the time. I have one necklace my son made when he was seven years old. It is so special that when i use it out on the city at nightimes that people think it is design. I love this necklace so much.
I got a good hug from my aunt child in happiness over that i was so happy for the bracelet. I love her so much and everyday i thank the Lord above she is alive and in good health.
Afterwards i went down in our house to see my son moving out. He is home to get all his furnitures and things to Oslo. His father was here to help him and they carried out all together. And we talked and had a good time, and realized that we have been getting a lot older. It is a bit hard to see youre own son move. But it is life and my son is extremly happy and then i have to be happy to. I love him with all my heart and is very proud of him. And so is his father.
I promised them to make bunns ( i hope that is the word in english ) for lunch to the car drive to Oslo. And i have just been to the store and bought in cheese, ham and a special norwegian sausage that tastes very good to have on the bunns. And chocolate milk to go with it. I was out bicycling and i smiled of a MC- reunion not far from my house, and the cosy sound of boats going out on the fjord at night time. I am ready to make the bunns now, and have to say this day has been extremly kind. I have been well the whole day without fatigue and then i function like everybody else. So i thank the Lord above for giving me these days. It is a cosy and quiet evening with a special sound in the silent night with boats passing by and it always gives me peace of mind. Have a nice evening :-)

" There are days in all kinds of colours - so remember life is a rainbow, you see it best when there is a litle rain and sun ." :-)

The Meaning Of Life

The world and maybe the universe oldest riddle is the meaning of life. People can when suffering question the meaning of life. It can be extremly hard to come to a point when there is no meaning. This often happen in depression and with some other mental illnesses. It is very hard, but hang in there and always reach out for life. Try to find the spaces in life in what makes you happy and comfortable. The meaning of life can reveal itself nearly out of the blue by trusting the Lord above to find the answears for you. There is a life for everybody, and i can guarante you : " Youre life has meaning, even if it is just to make youre dog happy. " You can find one of the greatest loves in a dog. The dog cathes youre mood and want you to stay happy and have a good time together with the dog.
To search for love can be hard. But never loose the meaning of  life if you dont find it when you think you have the right time to find it. The love in life can come from all over the world. There is not much limits these days for a human. The world shows that everybody can make it through. Even people suffering from mental illnesses, depression, anxiety, trauma, crisis or grieve. The world wants you to be loved. There is always love for you. But dont make it a big issue to be loved by many. People are different. And in the most common very kind. An act of kindness can heal a person and it dont need to be the love of youre life. But a good friend, family member, a stranger that gives you a smile. If you start to smile to the world you will soon discover that people smile back and talk to you. And know that todays society is hard. The world stands over many challenges and there is war and terror and it affects also the daily life of common and regular people. We want it to be peace in the world. And i think it is possible. By people giving love and education. By the people in the world finding theire resources and theire place in life. When you find this in you, you find a special gift that is the meaning of life. But it can come from a childs birth. That you know you hold the most presious and the love that cant be described in words in youre hands and tears of joy are falling down youre cheeks. To find love is to find meaning of  life. A strong meaning that carry you through rough traumas and heals you when you are out of the traumas. Life is more love and fun than tragedy, so reach every single day for life. And if you question life... know that the meaning often come to you when you least think of it. The meaning of life is there all the time. We get boared once in a while, but be up for a good laugh, fun and many good talks with people that loves you and stick with you even on bad days. Dont ever loose this kind of people. There is meaning in every single second by getting life the way you want it. It can be enough meaning for hundred years to just work at home and have fun. My grandma on 104 years old has never lost the meaning of life. She had a depression in her 50 `s but i read some place about people getting old. Many of these people had a sevear depression but learned from it and took the responsibility for theire own life. My grandma is 104 but it is like talking to someone on my age, she has the youth in her still. She gave me a diamond ring in gold from her for some days ago. And i wear it proudly. She want me to remember her for someone loving me. And i love her back. To just find time with her give me a lot of meaning and my son is back from Oslo now and i slept in peace this night and in thankfullness over a son making it good in life and is healthy. Find the small and the big cases and moments that makes you happy, peacefull and comfortable and the true meaning of life occurs to you, and that is you beeing you, really you. It can take time to really be the one you are ment to be, but with the right people around you, or a dog, it is easy to find youreself and then you have meaning in every second you live, as long as you live. Stay loved by the Lord above by beeing you. You are loved :-)
" Everyday in youre life you are loved. "

What Happened When The Norwegian Viking Leiv Erikson Entered America ?

I research in words and need a dictionary. I will order one later today. American language is very simmilar to English and England is not far away from Norway, and the Vikings went over there to trade and on expedition. It is saied that the famous iceland horse on iceland really is Norwegian and British. The horse has been used of Vikings and is popular even today. But i stay on the language. I come from a litle community with four islands making one county. It is connected to the main land by sub sea tunnels. The weird part here in this part of Norway is that it is very easy for us to learn american and english. It is even easy to learn french and spanish. But i stay to the american language for a while. Because many norwegians have gone over there during the centuries. Leiv Erikson was the first one to discover america in the 1000 century and was 500 years before Christopher Columbus. I have some more words for today, and some is simmilar. Not the same but very much alike the prononciating in american :

radish = reddik in Norwegian

banana = Banan in Norwegian

potato = potet in Norwegian

ski = ski in Norwegian is saied " she "

nut= nøtt on Norwegian

They = In our dialect " dej " 

Sun = Sol in Norwegian

Storm = Storm, just the same

Fase= Fase, the same

Rest = Rest in Norwegian means " what is left over. "

Was = in our dialect " Vås " and in our dialect it means nonsense.

Apple = Eple, nearly the same

Like = Like in Norwegian means equal.

Arm = Arm, means the same

Bad = Bad in Norwegian is something funny, because in Norway it means bathroom.

No = In our dialect we say " No " and it means now. 

That was the words for today. And i will go through a dictionary and look at the english language also. It is fun to see how it all is kept together with simmilar and just the same words. Have a good day, and maybe you from USA have a bit of Norwegian in you, you never know. Many Norwegians travelling over to the States changed name. It is fun to do some research in history. 

" Everyday has something new to learn you - be open to it and you might have a good laugh. "

A Girl With A Incredible Funny Song

Some days you just wanna forget. But a trick is to make youre mistakes a funny story to live with. All in life can be seen in different lights. I love this girl for giving me a good laugh :-)
" Smile everyday  - even when it hurts. "

To Find Courage

It is easy to think you are a small person with nothing much to say. But the truth is we live in a society where everyone shall be heard and treated with kindness and respect. Today i found courage to send an e-mail to the Norwegian Gouvernment about " Evindence Based Treatment. " So that everybody in the country is secured a good and qualified treatment and can controll theire life in hospitalization. The mail is sendt and i hope they hear my litle voice in the numbers of others. There needs to be done work around the psychiatric treatment so it is healing and building healthy persons that can manage theire own lifes. It is a rule of freedom to have controll over youre life and guide it by values the way you want it and get well after illness. All mental illness is treatable and there has to be saied everyday to the patients that : " You are going to get recovered. " It is a human right to have hope, love and joy in theire lives. And i hope everyone in the world with an illness can get the best treatment humans are capable to give. It is possible with good qualified health care workers that really love humans and life and have the stamina and the joy to give to other people that are in suffering that the one suffering can lean on the person with strenght. It is like the geese trecking over my house these days. They shift in leaders. When the one in front leading is tired, another one takes over. They fly nearly every day over my roof to warmer places, and i thank the geese for telling me a story we humans can learn from.
" Study nature - it is amazing what you can learn and how many good laughs you can have. Find courage in the every day life to get heard. You deserve the best. Have a great day. "

Evidence Based Treatment In Psychiatry

I fell a sleep tonight with a laughter and woke up in the middle of the night thinking about patients in the Psychiatric health field. There has to come in a new way of treatment that is " Evidence Based Treatment ". A treatment that secure the patients by law a good and kind treatment and that nothing is written in the journal without evidence from the patient by talking to the patient in trust.
There is a lot of wrong treatment in the psychiatry. I speak only for Norway now. But they tend to write down about patients by evaluate by the once working in the psychiatry by only having a talk without questions. On the unit i have been on the last time they asked me about if there was things i wanted to put in the journal. And it gave me trust. But even if that was done, some mistakes about me was written down when i was signed out and got " the nurse notat. "
Evidence based treatment let the patient see what is written down. So the patient can follow theire own healing and tell about the symptoms in trust. And then get the right picture. And that the law protect the patient against wrongs written down. So the patients integrity and individuality and person is protected. It can be hard to have a journal that is filled with mistakes. I know i have from early in my hospitalization in another unit.
I will go to bed now and write about this to the norwegian gouvernment and try to secure the patients by law in Norway to get the right and kind treatment. That secures the persons life and wellbeeing. It needs to be highly qualified people working in the psychiatry and they has to be kind towards the patients or else there is no good healing. I start on the letter first thing in the morning.
" Some nights are a blessing, and to look at the stars can give you peace of mind - look above sometimes and know the world is beautiful. "

Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life :-)

It is fun to research in words. I have more words and it is funny. Have a great day, and wonder if the world history has been more fun than what it is described in the world history. I think i want to be a History Teacher :-) I have some more words to put in and that is :

barn = we say barn here in Norway and it means children. 

will = vil, do you want to ? Villingness. " Vil " = " Will " in google translate.

I had one other and that is not norwegian but american. It is " Card - iology " I started to wonder if a professor in medicine played a lot of poker. We use the same terminology in the norwegian medicine. 

" Always Be Up For A Good Laugh. "

More About Americans Speaking Norwegian :-)

I recall more and more words. I am very kind to Americans and my son have a lot of relatives over there and i have a few. But we havent searched so good in the family tree. I had a good time finding out all these words, and we have a special dialect from a litle island on the west coast called Vigra. I talk that dialect and my grandfather is from that island and i lived for over five years there some years ago. Here are some more words :

Male = Male means to paint in Norwegian all over the country.

Flirt = Flirt means the same in a dialect in older generation my grandma on 104 years sayes flirt.

Clow = Klov , means the same as in American

Cow = Ku in Norwegian but in other parts of Norway in older dialect they saied kov.

And = And in Norwegian means A Duck

Have a good laugh. It is funny to know how the language is all over the world and how people around the world has put theire impression on the language. 

" Stay in there will be more to laugh about i promise you that . "

Did You Know That Americans Speak Norwegian ?

During my hospitalization i was bored. And i talked to myself during isolation and i had many good laughs about the language in Norway and in America. It is in Norway saied that Leiv Eriksson was the first man that discovered America. He was a Viking in the 1000 century. He lived from c 970 - c 1020. He discovered the north of America nearly 500 years before Christopher Columbus. I speak fluent english and american. I am a bit out of practise, but i stayed in the room translating words from american to norwegian. I am from the west coast of Norway called : " Sunnmøre ". And we have a special dialect that many words is simmilar to american but means other things. Here are some words :

He = when we laugh in our dialect we say ; hi, hi ... spelled just the same as he.

Life = " Leif " a male name in Norwegian just like Leiv Ericson

Bed = Bed is the word we use for the place in the garden you make for the flowers.

Ho, ho = Like the Santa Claus say in American is in mine dialect just the same word " Ho " wich means she.

Car = " Kar "  is dialect here from where i am from and is the meaning of a tray for example a washing tray.

Car = " Kar " we also use it on a very good male. Like " He " in american

Love = " Låve " it means a barn in our dialect.

Gift = Gift means marriage here in Norway. 

Singer = We have a brand here in Norway called " Singer " and it is a sewing machine.

Have a good laugh. There is even more words but i cant write all down now. But it had been funny to hear how many american words an american could find in our dialect. I figured out that there had to be a lot of Norwegians in the USA. 

" The World Is Small - Have Fun and Enjoy It. "

Here Is A Song That Makes Me Laugh :-)

This song make me laugh and makes my heart grow in kindness to Coldplay. The intention with the song is more than good and they make me smile and laugh. Thanks to Coldplay my day got even better :-) In Trondheim city there is a lot of music and when i was hospitalisised there i read on a wall in the city about the meaning of music :

Hear it

See it

Feel it

I loved those words and slept every night to Metallica S&M and with prayers to that i made it through the hospitalization. Love music, and when youre true personal meaning with music occurs you have a lifetime long love for the world of sound .

" Have a great day in this fantastic world "

Get A Good Start On The Day

To start a day can be hard if you suffer from depression or have a hard time in life. One of my tips is to get up earlier and have good time in the mornings. I have just been sitting outside and watched the sea, the birds and the sunlight waking the day. I have had breakfast and had coffe outside. It is soon colder here in Norway so i have to enjoy the time i can spend out in the mornings. I found a blog with tips on what to do when you have depression. It can be easier to get out of a depression than what you think. It is to try to change mood fast. It is the thoughts and the mood it is something wrong with and to do fun things and to keep it tidy and clean around you and get youre enviroment into a cosy and nice state heals the mood. The tips is to make youre day better, so have a great day and stay happy.
" Everyday can turn out good - some days you have to work to get the mood better - but it is worth it. "

Four Patients With Schizophrenia Talks About How They Have It

Schizoprenia is hard to have. Here four patients talk about how they have it. It is different symptoms from patient to patient. And it is managable to heal with a calm and good enviroment and kind people around the patients. It can take a time to heal, but the main part that heals fast is to find a hobby or a living that take over the symptoms. The thoughts change when people have something happy and giving for them to do. People with schizophrenia suffer a lot. It is a hard condition and the people having the diagnoze dont want the life to be this way, they want to heal. Give them always support and constructive talking and ask questions. When you ask questions the patients needs to think adecvate and they tend to be normal and telling how they really have it in theire life. Dont ever give up a patient, a long term condition can get better over night with kind and stable enviroment. Schizoprenia is cureable.
" Schizophrenia gets cured when the patient find a kind meaning of life. "

Make Dinner Everyday And Eat Healthy

Today i made pasta for dinner. An easy meal with whole wheat pasta, pesto, olive oil and carrotsauce. Pasta is a dish you can make in 100 ways and it taste always good, and is good for the mood. You get happy eating healthy carbohydrates. Here are recipies for astonishing pasta sauce. To make pasta is creative and gives you a lift in the everyday life. It is healthy, taste good and gives you serotonine.
Today i have spent the whole day in front of the tv. It has been classical dressage with horses, western riding and a program about the norwegian horse " Lynghorse ". It has been cosy and great and i want back to the horses. I have to find a stable to work in and rent a horse for two days a week. My life was horses earlier and i have had three horses. It is a peacfull and magic life with horses. It always gets you in a good mood working with animals.
The autumna has started here. It is colder days and more rain. And i knit to the winter. I am about to knit a sweather to my son for this winter. He has moved out and is doing good in Oslo. I will go to Oslo before christmas to visit him. I am looking forward to that.
So now i am about to relax the whole day and go for a hiking trip later on to exercise. I want to start running but have to wait until i have diet down some more to not get injuries in my knees.
I hope you find some pasta recipies you love, and can eat until you are happy :-)
" Love to make food - it is eternal love and spreads joy. "

Everyday Happiness

It is Sunday and i have had a good day. Life happens in the litle. It dont have to be huge things happening to make me happy. I have turned down everything on the to do list, because i have done a lot earlier and find myself more happy with the little things happening. It gives my mind peace, stamina and happiness. Today i woke up early to be a Sunday and i had morning coffe together with my sister and later on my aunt came on visit. I walked around all regular and without make up and just was happy.
I baked meringue today. A small recepy and it tasted good. So tomorrow i am going to have ice cream, meringue and chocolate sauce to celebrate i have gone down to 79 kilos and is starting to get better in my body and shape. It payes off to exercise and eat healthy. I have been drawing and painting also today and the pictures turn out good. The painting i have decided to work on for two weeks and look how it is then. It is an abstract in light colours and in the main blue.
Everyday happiness can come to you every day in the small parts with settle down for less. And be happy for the people around you. I have people that loves me, and i love them back. So today has been a good day. And i am off to read this evening and go to bed early.
" Everyday happiness is found in the litle things - appreciate them and get happy. "

Eat Until You Laugh And Stay Happy

I found a book in my bookshelf i had not read. I bought it some years ago in a vintage store. It is a book from 1993 and it is by Jean Carper and the title is : " Food - Youre Miracle Medicine. " I read it and ate food until i laughed and was bubbly with happiness. I ate food for raising the mood level with serotonine. And ate whole wheat pasta, green pesto, 2 table spoons with olive oil, 2 garlic boats raw and after a while i sat laughing of all my life and all i have done and not done. It was to be back in year 1999 for me until 2002 because i lived very healthy at that time and there was not so many diets. I lived on healthy food and ate karbohydrates and vegetables and fruits. It is possible to do food to youre medicine. And i have started every night to soothen the body with olive oil. It gets me in a happy mood and all my thoughts gets healthy and happy. It is nearly a miracle. And i stay healthy. It dont cost much to stay on this diet.
The book is possible to buy today and the author Jean Carper has given out more books i wanna read. And the book is to heal deseases and to prevent desease. It is good and easy to read. And it is possible to stay happy by eating this way. I have gotten more strenght and will power after i started to follow Jean Caspers advices. So eat until you laugh and feel happy !!!
" Sometimes the best advices are right by youre side. "

Tips To Make A Bad Day Turn Out Good

Everyone have bad days once in a while. Today the day started out bad. I was a bit depressed and had fatigue. I slept for a while, and had visit of two nurses today that made my day better. I just started out doing good things to make the depression or the blues go away, good tips for making a day easier comes here :

1. Chagen focus at once and do something you feel is for the better.
2. Make it tidy and clean around you and light candles.
3. Do housework, wash clothes, do the dishes and keep it clean.
4. Visit a good friend.
5. Forget insults at once, it is no juse keeping them.
6. Read, watch tv or drift away in youre mind to positive goals and dreams.
7. Start saving for a holliday or a weekend away.
8. Call someone.
9. Write a letter or a mail to someone that loves you.
10. Smile even if you are sad, it helps because you give the message to the body you are in good mood.
11. Make tea or coffe and buy in some snack. It dont need to be much.
12. Read Magazines.
13. Do youre favourite thing to do.
14. Sleep if you are tired, it is good to have rest for the whole body.
15. Make a new recepie to dinner. It will give you joy and something new.
16. Exercise outside. Fresh air and nature always gets you in a better mood.
17. Be yourself in all. That will change youre mood fast.
18. Make youreself comfortable in every way.
19. Take a shower and clean youreself good and stay fresh.

20. Love life, everybody gets bad days inbetween.

" Dont lose youre dreams, it can take a while to fulfill them but they are worth waiting for. "

Happy Hour Every Day

Every day from 08:00 to 09:00 Happy sings. The budgie we have is getting more comfortable and tame. But she selects out people. She knows me and is not afraid of me. It is strange what a huge place in life a litle pet can get. Happy is very kind and funny. She is social and quick and very to look at people. She is tired today after i stayed up last night. But she started her morning Happy Hour at 08:00 as regular. I have my morning bell in her. I love this litle budgie and is pleased to have her.
Life is good and calm and i have had visitors today and my son has been packing all day. He is moving to Oslo tomorrow. So then a new chapter starts in his and my life. I am a bit worried i get a litle depression of him moving out, but it is life and last night i went to bed thankfull over beeing with my son on the journey from child to adult. It has been fantastic and a beautiful journey. Last nigh i wished the whole house had been filled with kids.
I spent yeasterday packing to my son and wrote down secret recepies on food dishes. He has gotten my secrets in the kitchen now so he can pass it on. It is the food he loves. I am thankfull over having a good life and quality on life. It is that when you suffer it is hard to se sometimes that life can turn out good. I have to spend the next part of my life in thankfullness and love. It is great to have recovered and knowing that youre loved ones is doing good :-)
So i go to bed early today and look forward to Happy waking me up, and to a new chapter in life is starting tomorrow.
" Welcome changes - it is at most for the better. "

In Memory Of Elvis Presley

I take this day to honour Elvis Presley that died on this day 37 years ago. I have so much to thank him for. A lifetime journey with music. As a child i listened to Elvis every day and got records as a birthday present and christmas present. I love him so much for bringing a happy childhood to me with his music. I loved as a 3 year old " Litle Darlin " and i laughed everytime and can remember the joy he gave me. In the nights i had to listen to Elvis to fall asleep. I remember everything as it was today, so Elvis is never forgotten in my life. He is a true legend and may his name be hounoured and remember for ever. He is the King. R.I.P

The Killers - Human / Todays Song to the blogg :-)

I found the answear tonight - " We are Humans " :-)

Night Talk : " I Don`t Wanna Be A Star "

I have been sitting outside on the terasse after a fantastic day. My aunt child turned 8 years today and they celebrated with two parties on one day. First for the children and then afterwards for the family. They had a great time, and i had on one incident four girls hiding under my table outside on the terasse when they played hide and seek. I love this litle aunt child so much. She is the bravest litle girl i know and has always something to tell her aunt. Children looks at the world in another way than we adults and to be let into theire world is a present to the adult getting to know a child. It is to be kind to them in all ways and be there for them. I hope her life journey end up fantastic because this special girl deserves it. She had leukemia when she was 18 months old. I stayed watching this litle miracle today and she has fully recovered and is special in her way and just as good in all health as other children. I wish her a long life and a lifetime of joy and happiness.
Her best friend was talking to me today. Because i gave my aunt child a teddybear some days ago that shows expression in his eyes, and she wanted one just the same. I told her i should find one to her because she is so kind to my aunt child. So next wedensday i must go on teddybearshopping at the hospital. The teddybears there are incredible cute. They loved the litle teddybear i gave my aunt child.
I have spent the evening outside after the party, and watched the sun go down and the stars entering the scenery of the nightheaven. It always amazes me to sit under the stars, just drifting away and enjoy life. But as i watched the stars something occured to me : " I dont wanna be a star... " Because they are up there so lonely and away from eachother, and when they collied it is a big bang. I just wanna be me again. Living the happy life i had in a litle community and in a small city with some hollidays to other places in the world. I have never wanted it all. Just living happy in small spaces of life, because i find my everyday happiness in beeing me and having to do with fun and kind people. And here lives a lot of kind people out here on the islands. So the stars can hang over my head up there on the velvet of stars and beeing beautiful to see. And for me... to stay down here as long as i can.
" Everyday is a Miracle - Embrace it ! "

Mary J. Blige, U2 - One - Any U2 fans out there ?

Endorfine Day !

It is Sunday and Happy is in a good mood again and woke me up early on a Sunday morning. I got up at 08:00 and had coffe outside in a blowing wind. It blows a lot here on the islands. Today i exercised for two hours. I have dvd`s of Pilates and Aerolates. And found out i am strong but lack condition or stamina. I have to exercise every day and my mind is into diets and exercise plans. I felt incredible good after exercise and found a page about 13 awesome menthal health benefits from exercise. It is good to have good tips on whats happening in you when you exercise, it is all for the better. No matter how long it is. But try to make it to 15 minutes, because then the body starts to give out endorfines. And you get a mental happy boost. It is great to exercise. I hope more people will join me in exercising for life. I have always exercised a lot and been into bought soccer, handball and riding and has exercised with dogs and done running some years ago. But after the hospitalization i have to start nearly on zero, and it is a bit hard to feel the way the body is when i before was in very good shape. But i am strong that is the pluss. I was on the weightscale today and was 82.5 kilos now, and is going down to 62 kilos, so i have 22.5 kilos to go. I start fresh and know i have to motivate a lot because i am on medication that slows down the metabolism so i have nearly dobbel up hard work than people without medication. But i have gone down from 97 kilos to 82.5 kilos. So i have been doing good. I need to be active a lot. So now i start to clean the house with loud music on. And the evening i shall watch tv and knit to the winter. I am high on endorfins and recommend to start to train to everybody. It helps even if it is only 30 minutes. I start on a program tomorrow that is hard to follow but i am willing to do whatever it takes to get into full remission, to get back where i was before i got ill. Have a Happy Day !!! :-)
" Exercise for at least 30 minutes a day - it is a start- and it helps for everything. "

Planning Day For Training

Today was summer time here. I overslept until 11:30 because Happy did not sing this morning and woke me up. She usually sings between 7:30 and 8:00. I got up and gave Happy food and changed water. She has been very silent today so i am a bit worried for her. But we will see how it goes tomorrow. Today i have been training Pilates and read about exercise and Fitness all day. I am planning to get results because i dont get so much results as i want out of the exercise i am doing. I found great free videos on youtube by Fitness Magazine. There was good training tips. I watched for a while and is starting tomorrow on a detailed training plan. It has just been a relaxing day. And know that to change youre life and youre body can be done in only 3 months. I start on a program that takes 3 months to change the whole body on monday. And i will take pictues before and after to see how the progress is and to have something that tells me to exercise. I have had a good time today planning my life.
" All changes for the body starts in the mind - read and get knowledge and start changing for life. "

Picture Of The Day / Lightcolours

Today i choose to put out a picture i painted at the unit. I had it in my room to look to everyday and every evening when i fell a sleep. It is comforting to watch this picture and it is brighter than what it appears in the picture. I have called it : " Lightcolours. " I pray when i paint so it shall be good energy in the pictures and for me to have peace of mind when i paint. It helps for me.
I believe that everybody can paint. It is just to find the right tecniques that works for you. So if you never have painted or think you cant. Just give it a try. I think you will make it pretty good.
The picture " Lightcolours " is for sale for 1000,- Norwegian Krone, so if you want it you can just send me an e-mail.

Today have been a bad day turning out good. I had headache today and was bothered with fatigue. So i slept for a while. But when Toya entered the house it all went away. I went to the store to buy dinner and bought also ice coffe and a magazine and had a good time reading. I met a friend and got invited out for coffe a day when i have time. When i got back my brother was on visit. And we talked my son, my brother and me when i made pasta to dinner. It was tasty and good. Now is just an relaxing evening and i am about to read papers and warch tv. 

" Life is good and easy in the small spaces of life - choose a simple life and get peace of mind. "

Perfect Day

Today was hiking day at the unit and it has been a Perfect Day. It is just one of these days when everything is okay. Not magnificent put okay and perfect enough. It dont need to be one of those days when everything is planned and perfect, but life and perfect. The onest truth in this world is that people suffer. It is the hard fact of life. But no matter where you are a Perfect Day can turn out, nearly out of the blue.
The pictures is taken here on the islands outside Aalesund on the west coast of Norway. I am lucky to live here and have this nature to walk in every day.

" Bårevika " is a place where a man has built up a barbequeplace by the sea and you can sit there in shelter of the wind. He has painted and made it cosy, and there is extremly beautiful.

We sat there for some hours and talked and laughed and one of the nurses took a swim. It was 18 celcius outside.

Some people was out kajakking and had a great time. The sea is greater than the pictures. I am not the best photographer in the world. But shows my sight as it is for an amateurphotographer. It is wonderful to walk by the seaside at Molnes. It is healing to hear the sea, the stones rolling in the waves, and the wind in the grass.

After the hiking i went home and cleaned the house. I made dinner and had fishsoup and bread. Afterwards i visited my grandma on 104 years ( tomorrow ). I bought with ice cream and brought with me todays paper and we had a good talk. Then i had to hurry back home to get the medication for the next 14 days. I get an injection with Trilafon. And the nurse taking the injection stayed for two hours talking to me. It was so great. I guess she is the qutest nurse ever. She hugged me and left back for the hospital. Then my brother called and invited us to pizza tomorrow to my sisters place. Then i got an uplifting visit. My father and his lady came to visit me. I was so happy to se them. My father is doing good and is soon done with treatment from cancer. It is so good that he is doing great. 

So it has been a Perfect day :-)

" Every Day Can Turn Out Okay - Just Give It A Try "

Library Day

Today i went to the Library and borrowed some books. It is fantastic to have a possibility to read all that you want for free ! I borrowed four books.
1. The Universe
2. A bit greener - 365 Things You Can Do For The Enviroment.
3. Food is Power - myths and possibilities in the foodpolitic.
4. 15 Minutes Fitness : Better Back Workout.

I was happy to get home and read. I had tea and something we call : " kokosboller " here in Norway. I wanted to share this hours of pure luxury with readers. I read now about the universe and found it very interesting. All i did not know. And today i will look over the other books also and take 15 Minutes Fitness for my back.
It is a good day and i have had Toya here, she is now on hiking together with my son. And i read and is at ease and peacefull, eager to know more about the universe. There is always something new to be learned. Have a Happy Time !
" Every new day has new lessons to learn us. "

Schizophrenia Can Be Solved By Acts Of Kindness

During the years with depression i read a lot of psyciatric terminology and how to treat people with mental illness. I read all i could find and also on the net from different countries and research materials. The one thing i realised is left out in the treatment a lot is the patients own unique way of living and the life history to the person suffering. I got ill the first time in 2002 and was hospitalisised for three weeks. I only lacked sleep and fought for a better health care system managing to give people the right targetted treatment. And often it is the whole body needing to be treated not only the symptoms with medications. I have never taken a high blood pressure as a nurse, even if the patient was diagnosed with high bloodpressure. It was that i had the ability to calm the patients down.
Psycotic patients tends to get out of psycosis when they are interacting social with me. They even dare to tell what voices say, and i keep it to myself and tell them to not bother with voices but needs to have fun, be social and get theire life back. The main issue is to never lose theire dreams. A psycotic person can be loocked on as a person with high bloodpressure. The sympthoms are not there all the time. Sometimes the patient is clear, adekvat and is quite normal. In times like these the nurses has to get into the situation and tell the patient : " Hey, now you are normal and is okay. " The silence in an mental institution can be devastating, because in the real life people speak and interact a lot. I discovered this hospitalisation that some patients wanted to be together with me when they felt anxiety. Schizophrenia can give a lot of anxiety. And it needs to be treated, but not always with medication but with kind, helping, loving persons that dares to go into the things the patients believe in and turn the beliefes back to the common reality. It is to help people be humans again. Schizophrenia is treatable.
I did not get a diagnoze until 2007. Then they took away the work theraphy in the hospital and the physical theraphy. I painted a lot and exercised a lot and all they had to treat me with was to loock me up inside a mental institution for 4 months. I did not hear voices, but got the diagnose Shizoaffective disorder, but my main doctor gave me the diagnose bipolar disorder. It has been a travell in the psyciatric treatment and i see that they lack kindness. It is believed that they think only medications will help. But the only true thing helping is kindness and people giving a base oriented defense believe back to the  patient. It is a important thing that the ones giving base orienting is people that are believable. If the nurse is one person with one patient and then another one with another patient there is mess in the system. Because the people working in psyciatric needs to be whole persons with a lot of capacity to think about how we are going to treat this patient the best. It is hope. The last unit i was to treated me kind and took me outside, but the main part of the job i have done for myself. By reading, painting, writing and been together with my son. Beeing together with my son is the most positive thing i do in the world. I always get in a good mood and get a good laugh. I love him with all my heart and he is the reason i live today.
In Norway 423 people are dead while they was in the psyciatric system at hospitals since 2010. It is to many and i believe everyone could have been saved. There needs to be developed more skills to people working in the psyciatric units. They have to have a first aid kit that is theire presence and theire way of speaking. Caring acts can be remembered for a lifetime. To be put in a mental institution can be shameful and people think theire life is ruined. They have to be met with the posture : " Hey, we are a team, together we work this out. " It is possible to heal, and it is possible to live a good life with mental illness given the right education to the patients. I have seen so much bad things happening that i could not believe it. The patient is not theire disease. It is the most important thing to remember.
During the years and because of my education i realised that i know just as much about schizophrenia as psyciatric doctors. They have not told me anything new. And be patient with the doctor because they do not always get the right picture of you as a patient because they get reports from nurses and assistants. So a good advice for a patient is to write a diary every day. Remeber that you are in control of youre life to do happy things and reflect over what is good for you doing and ask of doing them. A kind institution let you do youre favourite things to do and be together with the people you love.
A first aid kit to schizophrenia is enough sleep and a natural diet. I call it a natural diet because not all diets are good for the body. Many patients gain weight because of medication and a natural diet make you go down in weight. I have developed my own natural diet. And will write more about that. I have gone down 17 kilos since april. And is still going down. I was 97 kilos and is now 80 kilos. I am going down to 62 kilos. That is me when i am in full remission. That means to change back to the person you was before you got ill. Natural diet is to go after youre needs. And not only food. It is to do things that make you feel good, refreshed and well. I will write more about this later on. Just to say as something very positive. On this diet it is allowed to eat snack and have really good food. It is to be enjoyed. It takes a bit longer time dieting down, but the result is better because you feel good in youre mind.
Dont be youre diagnosis. Be youreself. And that is a kind loving person. Reveal youre inner self. The one you really want to be. And work for that goal. To be left in a diagnosis and told : " This is the way you are. " ruins peoples lives. Diagnosis is just a criteria to give treatment and medication that often is wrong. It can be hard to give medication to people suffering from Schizophrenia. Give them love. Give them trust. And find someone who really sees this person and see the diagnosis go away. It can take time in the start, but to reinforce positivity and a healthy atmosphear is the one thing making the patient heal.
The unit i was to now last has a very good employe climate. They have fun at work and it reflects over on us patients. Christmas eve one person working on the unit stayed home for two days on his private without sallary making christmas dinner for us. And i got the best christmas dinner i have ever tasted. I was so thankfull to this person that i realised that this was good people wanting the best for the patients. I relaxed. And ate a lot :-) Thank you to that person :-)
There is so much work to do in the psyciatric workfield. Diagnosis is not meant to harm you. It is a work tool for the doctors, nurses and the public system. Dont be afraid of a diagnosis. People are kinder than you think around the world. But dare to work with youreself and do what you love and dont go after thoughts and believes that dont exist in the common reality. To read a mind is not possible. And people stealing youre thoughts is not possible either. There are more i can say to this but i havent had this symptoms myself. But got to know people suffering a lot and beeing lonely because of theire symptoms. Try to take a time out everyday to focus on youre lifeplan. If you dont have one plan for youre life, make one and try to work with it together with health care people.

Remember that youre weakest part can be youre greatest strenght in the future. Dare to seek help if you need help. But remember that you are in control. You have the right to be you :-) I put in the video of Audioslave - " Be Youreself. " I like that a lot. And remember that nobody is perfect and that everybody in the entire world have problems, small or big ones. Remember to have fun. And my best advice : " Exercise. "
Find away for youreself and remember that you are the first one in the world beeing you :-) There is only one of you - so love youreself !!! :-)
" Be the one true person you are suppoused to be - and that is you " :-)

Dont Ever Be Sad !

Dont ever be sad ! It is possible to stay in a good mood all the time if you work with youreself good, and have things you love to do. I love painting and paint a lot of different motives. I have a lot of Clovns for sale and desided now to put out one more today. It is 30 cm / 60 cm and is yourse for 2000,- Norwegian Krone.
" Live a happy life by doing things you love. "

Clovn Of The Day

This is the Clovn Of The Day and is put out for sale. It is hard to sell this clovn because he makes me so happy. It is yourse for 2000,- Norwegian Krone and the picture is 30cm / 60cm. It is painted in a happy mood and is to spread love and joy. Have a Happy Day !!!

I was to the bank today and did not get a loan. Because she had a budget she filled in and i was in 11000,- norwegian krone in minus every month if i buyed the house. I thought i was in 11000,- in minus a year. The money i get every month is to litle to live for, so i have to say bye bye to the house. I am not sad at all, knows only that i have to survive on litle money. So i have to live in a municipal appartment for a while. But there is a possibility for me to get a loan through the " Housebank ". It is a loan service for people with sprecial needs. The woman who works with this in the county hall is back the 11. August.
So now i get me some food and coffe and paint more today. I hope you like The Clovn Of The Day and if you want to buy it you can contact me on mail. Have a happy joyfull day !!!
" Even a conversation with a no can be a good conversation. "

My Kind House

The house i live in is an extremly kind house. My cousin built it for my son and me so that we should have a place to stay until my son grew up. It was so kind of her to let us live so good for so many years. Now times has changed and my son is grown up and is about to start on his education in Oslo and is moving in about two weeks from now. I am happy for him and know i will get a bit lonely for a while. But it is life that children shall out flying on theire own in the world. I am very happy for my son taking higher education and that he manage the world on his own. He is a strong, reflected and has a lot of resources to make it good in life. I am very proud of him and not at least for him beeing one of the kindest people i know on earth. 

I have taken some pictures of the house and here is one from the bathroom. I dont get a so beautiful bathroom in the municipal appartment. But i will survive. And i am getting better every day. 

I took a picture of the litle perfume bottle my mom gave me as a gift. It is bought in France. The pictures did not turn out as good as i hoped they would do. But it is to see how we have it, and for me to look back and remember one of the kindest things someone has done for me. To let me live in a new house for 7 years.

The evening is good and peacefull here and i am going outside to sit out until it gets dark with a cup of tea and a sigarette. I have not quit smoking yet, but i have reduced it. A new start for me is next month and it will be a huge change. But that is life. You win some and loose some. But the municipal appartment lyes in a very good neighbourhood and my grandmother on 104 years live in a elderhome two minutes to walk from my new place. Have a great evening and remeber that changes in life makes you wiser.

" All changes in life makes you wiser. "

Project Of The Month - Taking Farvel With The House

Today i took some pictures together with our Field Spaniel on 8 years. She is so kind and lovable and is extremly qute. My hair is short and not long anymore because i was skinnhead for a litle while when i was hospitalisised. It is growing back out. But it take a time. 

Today i am starting on me moving. I have to sort out what i am to bring with me and what i need to store in a container. I am moving from a house on 149 squarefeet to a litle municipal appartment on 50 squarefeet. I am not looking forward to move, but life changes and i want to show how my house is like and remember it with a loving heart. We have had so many good times in this house we live in now. I wanted today to share some rooms from my house, but i did not manage to upload the pictures. I am not good with computers and the science behind it, but by time it will improve. I have had a good day today with a lot of peace in my mind and in my body. It is refreshing and good to be home again and not at a mental institution. Life can change to the better everyday. And my best advice to get peace in youre soul : Do what you love and be kind. Dont argue and dont talk bad about other people. I dont do this and the heart gets healed :-) Toya is a close friend of me and loving the entire family. She has cancer and we dont know how long we have her. I love her so much and it will be a huge loss for the whole family when she goes to rest. But she can happily live for a long time still.

" Be kind in all you do and see how youre soul gets peace - it heals you - and people love you back . "

Metallica - No Leaf Clover [Official Music Video] one of my favourites with Metallica

Bad Days That Turn Out Good

I forgot my side effects medication yeasterday and woke up this morning very tired and in a bad mood because of this. I sat outside on the terasse with coffe and tried to wake up. I get so tired that it is hard to have the eyes open. I realised it was just to go to bed again. I slept even when Happy was singing out load. I slept for two hours to 11:30 and went outside again. It was one of those days i realised that nothing would be done. I took side effects medication and got a bit better. I forced myself into the shower and got dressed for the day and not to walk around in the pyjamas all day. When i feel the fatigue it is like it never goes over. I talked with my sister, my brother and my mother. They were throwing a lot of stuff today and tidying around the house. They rebuilt it for one year ago into two appartments. It has become very nice. I went up to my mother and sat beside her when she was going through some old paper and we read about Ireland, England, France, Greece and some more places. I felt the need to travel.
My fatigue went away and i went home to write clean a childrens novel written in 1997 to my son. I read it to him for years and his friends liked the book a lot to. I want to give it out so i have to rewrite it. I worked with that for some hours. My son got back from work and he had dinner and played guitar for some hours before he went to work again. I washed some machines with clothes, read mails and wrote.
Afterwards i went to my moms place for coffe and chocolate. We talked about me moving to another place here on the islands and about big stuff and litle things. It was a cosy time and the dogs were there together with us.
My mom coloured my eyebrows and i did my hair. And got a present with her, a bottle to have parfume in bought in France. It was very beautiful in silver with purple and pink stones on. I went back home and hung up some clothes and cleaned the house and wrote one chapter more on the childrens novel.
It has been a day in the litle. But i have a great time now and is not with fatigue or in a bad mood. It is a bad day turning out great. We live in the small parts also and the days with the litle things happening can be just as good as the crazy and wivid days when everything is good. I just have to say : It is good to be me right now. It is evening and i am about to watch some tv, read over what i have written and knit. So dont give youreself over if you have a bad day. Try to change it by opening up to people that have a good day and stay together with them until youre mood change. Everything can get better.
" Bad days can turn to good days - life has meaning and is worth living. "

Friday night is going to be all right

Everyday is a day to love. The small and the litle things that are precious in life. Its been just a regular day and i am calm, at ease and happy. I woke up at 08:00 in the morning of Happy the budgie and had coffe looking at the silent rain pouring down on a summer day. 10:00 i had visit of the community nurse and she shall follow me up once a week. It was a nice meeting, we looked at the house i want to buy and talked about me moving.
When she left i started working on a book about how to use " Happy Cards " and how to have " thoughtgymnastic ". I worked with that until my son woke up, and he is looking forward to move to Oslo. We had left over of enchiladas. I promised to make gratinated fish in white sauce with macaroni, cheese and garlic to dinner today. My son loves that. It take a while to make and i was bothered with fatigue, but i made it through and it tasted delicious. I gave my aunt child on 8 years also dinner, she eats litle fish. But she ate a lot. It tastes so good that when my son was in primary school his friends ordered it and went home together with my son to have dinner at our place.
I stayed for a while talking to my aunt child, about games, lego, books and Harry Potter. And my fatigue left me.
My mom had fajitas and i ate one, so today i am full :-)
I got also a present today of a friend of my mother, and all natural skin oil called " Neo ". I have had sun exemas of the medication and it took the iching at once. People are so kind, and help out. It was very kind of him to think of me, and the oil was very good.
It is an peacefull evening here and i am going to bed now, and i am thankfull over having so good days :-)
" Everyday is a day worth loving no matter what. "