tirsdag 15. mars 2016
Sleeping
There is no place to search for cover,
and i have to find this at the hospital.
Metallica " The house jack built "
mandag 14. mars 2016
They Are Busted In About Two Hours
I am putting out a picture i took today of the doctor and a nurse and show mental control and manipulation i hand it to my brother and my son to show it in the army.
They are not showing any affection towards me and they show what they have done to me.
I am kind but they are not kind to me.
They should be smiling and been friends.
They dont dare to look in the camera.
I save Robbie with Teddybears he is kind.
They will never understand what Robbie do - he is safe.
Angels.
Photograph for a lifetime.
Take pictures.
Peace On Earth
Heart Feelings - Kind
I was in a cooperative meeting around me.
It did not turn out good.
They talked around themselves and one nurse was lying about things i have said that never have been discusses. And i was very quiet.
I had with me a teddybear to show that i am kind and i was worried my heart stopped of aching.
The doctor acted strange and did something.
She also gave me more medication and more often medication and i can't understand why when i have so much side effects that i sometimes can't move properly and have to take side effects medication.
My county doctor was not present and i dont understand why.
My heart is normal
and someone has placed on images a normal ecg reading in how i shall do that because at my ecg reading at the doctor i was not allowed to se the ecg reading.
I am kind and i know with heart is the best way to heal is to follow you're heart so it can rest.
I gave the teddybear to my mother that told me later after the meeting that now is the time that we shall make it without doctors in a little while.
She dont feel that we are given help in the psychiatric field and one nurse talked about moving me to a permanent institution.
I have a free life and if i was not strong they could have scared me a lot with this.
My mother said that they are not titled to do so with me.
They are not kind to me.
And if they have given me a diagnose i am entitled to get the best care possible.
I was with the dogs afterwards and they was extremely kind to me.
I pray for the dogs and give them healing and they like that a lot.
I think that dogs save the world with being our best friends.
Sleep well and i hope i make it through.
This is " Toya "
alias
" One Step Closer "
named after the song on the U2 album
" How to Dismantle An atomic bomb. "
Mustang Can Be Norwegian
This is the Norwegian breed " Lynghorse " and his name is " Ryvar ".
He is very kind and have spirit and stamina.
Horses tells us humans how to live by taking it easy and relaxing.
To be together with the horses here on the farm heals me.
And i study also the Mustang.
We dont know how much the vikings travelled with horses.
But spain does not have a breed today that looks like the mustang.
The viking Leiv Eriksson travelled from Norway to America early and called the country
" Wineland ".
Ryvar the Lynghorse is kind and have stamina and behavior like a mustang.
It Is Normal To Worry
It is normal to worry.
Everyday we meet problems, and i have a problem in understanding my treatment.
There have been no plan in the treatment of me and i worry for my health.
It is a normal thing to do, unless the worrying comes out of control.
You need a focus on life to reach you're goals.
Without any plan for you're life you end up drifting away into areas that might not be healthy for you.
An athlete is trained by a coach to improve his presentations and how to be theire best.
But you need breaks.
You need rest, you can't stay on top all the time.
To find out how much you can take is a healthy start.
I have been through so much that i am not sure on how much more i can take in my life.
But i have a healthy son that guides me in-between to tell me that :
" You are not mad mommy - just a little bit crazy. "
And he loves me sometimes for this.
I need to make a plan for my life and sit down with people that knows how to guide me.
They have given me a diagnose, but it dont seem like they know how to treat the diagnose.
This book i present again is for å reinforce the impression that self talk is a way out of depression, anxiety and mind control.
It gives you back you're sanity to listen to yourself talking in a uplifting, caring and reasonable way.
It can stop muddy thinking that just drags you down.
The book is written by Joseph J. Luciani, PH.D
It is a safe book to read to get you're power and control back in life.
I am not up for so much control in life, but that it moves towards healing in a free way, that gives me courage to do what i dream of doing.
søndag 13. mars 2016
Nurse Copied Me
15: March 2012 i got hospitalized and a nurse always commenting my hair
even in crisis and tears.
That always focused on the outer side of me and how i looked like.
She copied me from the picture on this blogg taken and was in my moves and adapted my body language.
She was quite a bit more extreme than me.
And i wrote notes about it.
I know why she did it and have not told the story yet.
But she was proud of being a little alike me,
she always told that people told us we are alike.
But we are not.
She is much more lower than me.
And i have a more muscular body of exercise in teams and learned a lot from sports.
She has never done sports.
She has been obsesses talking about me to others in the unit,
she did not knew that i got to know this from others.
I got sad of being tricked in pain.
A nurse shall never work like this,
or go so sexy dressed in a unit.
She broke my heart
and i shaved of all my hair and was bold for a while
and gained weight to 100 kilos to get out of the psychiatric forced treatment.
And so i did.
They treated me kinder when i was fat.
When i got thin again and had sex appeal they closed me in and gave me more medication.
I have written about the story early in the blogg.
And starts to find the truth.
I write books and love this man.
Laugh for a while, she dont have a clue on how i really are as a person.
Let the adventure begin.
Painting The Tiger
This Tiger I have painted to get to be myself again and to show that the tiger is not the most dangerous animal in the world. The elephant is more dangerous than the tiger.
To paint ease you're mind and can show who you are.
I handle tigers in my mind all the time. But i am not a tiger myself but human.
Tigers spend a lot of time on their own.
But some of them can be social.
It is researched on that tigers have an infra mood. They feel things on far away and that keeps them on their own.
I know tigers, and the world is to be created new by the generation coming after us.
Children tell that they want their parents to listen to them more and plan for them.
The earth is in need to be saved.
And it can be done by telling the truth.
I paint also porcelain, it is called painting China in Norway and England.
It is one of my favorite hobby and i have created my own designs.
Painting is a hoby mankind has done since the beginning of time.
Paint all you can, and i will also recommend the army to paint and get out the artistic mind in the soldier. Because it is better than mindfullness.
Everybody can paint and grow a more healing mind in their imagination to tell who they are.
Real life can be something else than isolation and what goes on in isolation.
It has shown by research from the British army that people go into psychosis after one week in isolation.
Work therapy has to be created in every hospital even in physical illness.
It keeps the mind focus and gives freedom to the spirit.
PASSING OUT CEREMONY NORWEGIAN NAVY, FLASH MOB - Uptown Funk
Someone fights for World Peace - whach them and laugh :-)
Real Life
The real life has to be shown by somebody.
This picture is taken of me today, not of the best photographer in the world. But does it really matter.
Pictures is memories of a lifetime.
This picture of me is taken of a person in years in the psychiatric field and exhausted of treatment and medication.
My mother visited me today and we had a good talk. She is kind.
I told her before she left for her home that we are worse than " Looney Tunes ", she laughed and i gave her a hug.
We had coffee and cupcakes
and i know that the real me makes it through.
This is a picture without any make up and not a done hair.
But we need to show that breakfast faces also exists.
A man saved me isolated in another city with his own music.
He sat in the room together with me kind and smoking and letting me listen to his music and that saved my life.
His name is Roger Ellingsen and he sings very good.
I put out some of his music so that people can understand that the psychiatric field can be very mysterious and bring you to places in you're mind that you never thought existed.
You can get to know yourself as a stronger person and develop self esteem by knowing that all people makes mistakes.
There is always hope for the future.
And i hope you all welcome a " Looney " into the society.
There is always fun to have.
And i laughed of a little anxiety attack before putting out the picture.
I laugh a lot, even in hard times.
Listen to the music and know that Roger Ellingsen is an extremely kind man. He was helping in saving my life.
Second Life
This is a book in how to create you're world in " Second Life " it is a virtual reality in cyber space where you can be yourself.
Big Companies use this program to hold meetings etc. all over the world.
I am new to this and walk in there sometimes when i get bored to meet people all around the world.
It Is A Though World
The world has always been though.
You live for many year in a zone of peace and joy before the problems occur.
But it is to stay alive that is the important factor and not give up.
I never dreamed my life would be like this, but i suffer for more people than me to make a change in the psychiatric health field.
I can't understand why it should be so hard to do to change the system into kindness and not into the leading system of other people making a career and be more focused on themselves.
There is good people in the system.
A man working in a unit drove me home one day last year, and he told me :
" Hang in there no matter what ! "
" Okay, i will do. "
" You know i have been a drug addict for over 20 years and made it through and educated myself to health care worker. "
He probably have been more ill than me.
He is a good man and told me further.
" People ask me how it is to work with crazy people ? "
" I answer them ; that so long there is patients it all work out fine. "
lørdag 12. mars 2016
Nobody Here
I have slept for some hours and nobody is here.
I can start my peace dream after this book i bought for over ten years ago.
I have had it on my night time table and never forgotten this dream.
I make now dinner in an easy way.
Just Pommes Frites and will enjoy that life also has simple solutions
and a simple dish alone can be enjoyed more than the best food in bad company.
Me And The Mona Lisa
I have this picture of Mona Lisa that i found in a vintage store hospitalized.
It is called art treatment.
That people can chose a picture to have in their room to keep away from isolation.
The nurse together with me wanted me not to buy it.
He did not knew if i was allowed, and hey it is a free world i told and bought it.
I studied the Mona Lisa painted by Leonardo Da Vinci
and got to knew that Mona Lisa probably wrote and painted herself
and that she was a bit shy and worried of what effect the painting would have for her.
I found out more
and write a short book about studying art.
I have studied art my whole life and paint and draw myself.
I am self thought and do a little good in painting.
fredag 11. mars 2016
What Happened To My Neck - I Got Injured
For over a year ago in a security unit i never should have been to treated me with shielding and isolation without having somebody to talk to.
I wanted to call my lawyer and got refused by a mail nurse to do so.
It is against the law.
You have right to call you're lawyer at anytime.
I got upset and refused to go to my room.
I was standing tall.
They took grip on me and carried me into the hall of the shielding.
I did nothing and when they released me
i stood with my faca against the wall not threatening the nurses and hold grip into a door list.
There was three persons at the scene.
Two men and one woman.
One man should run the show and tries to be the strongest, but leading patients to room should be done by taking the patients in the overarm and lead them into the room.
The one man show is in the army and he took head grip on me and i got all in shock and scared for my neck in the grip he held me.
Then he bent my neck and something broke in it.
I got pains straight away and i slapped after him in self defense.
He then took through grip on me that was so tight that i felt it several days later.
I got into shock of the treatment and got nearly killed in panic attack of this.
My neck har hurted since that and it took over one year before they sendt me to MR research.
It showed damages, but the doctor told me it was of the side effects of the medication. And refused me to read the epicrise from the ortheoped treating this.
I hurt every day and must sleep on the coach because my bed is so soft that it gives me more neck pain.
I called the Police and they did not care.
They just asked : " What do you want with this with us. "
I have gotten post traumatic stress disorder of this.
And the same man taking the head grip threatened me with taking it again.
In an incident with the family a woman stroke me over the neck and it did not feel good, and some has rolled the neck to me.
It is mental manipulation.
I have a hard time surviving after the psychiatric ruined my life.
My economy was put under guardian something they did not have the right to do because it shall up in court, and they have never done that.
And by my financial guardian has taken my economy into crisis.
She has not paid bills for several months without information to me about budget and bills to pay.
I am tricked around in the whole system.
It has costed over 20 millions norvegian krone to destroy my life.
If they had given me the money i had could started firms and let people get to work.
I am not capable to do so much after being ruined physically and mentally by the psychiatric field.
Changing Agent
As a nurse stundet i read more than what was the literature we should read.
I read a lot of nursing from USA because they control the nurses better to have not only exams by the university but also at hospitals to get jobs.
In USA some of the nurses works so well together with doctors that they diagnose patients by nurse diagnosis.
Kenny Loggins - Danger Zone
I will take the camera to myself and photograph for three years and write about my life.
What Happened With My Medication
I was hospitalized in February last year and was kind. The doctors has written wrong about me in the journal of a doctor from Hungary that did not understand me.
She wrote so crazy about me in lie that one doctor understood. But i got sendt to a security unit and i should never been there. I should be treated at open institution in the district.
If i raise my voice they think i am psychotic so i have to talk very gentle to them.
At incoming in hospitalization i wanted freely medication with trilafon tablets 4 mg times two a day. And the doctor gave me this.
But a doctor gave me forced medication anyway and told that i did not want to take voulounterly medication. He lied and started to treat me with injection.
There came in the room over eight strong men to a woman and scared the shit out of me. And they acted like they were though and that it gave them self esteem to handle me with force.
I could not do anything aggressive to get out of this mess.
And so i did something.
I flashed my ass to them.
I dragged down my pants and gave them full monty.
As a joke to what they did.
Some of the men got scared.
Some handled it good.
But the doctor did not manage to stay in the room of me flashing my ass and went out of the room.
I laughed afterwards but was in a mess mental of getting extremely tired.
And they gave me injection once a week with 2 ml Trilafon injection and i got strong side effects.
It ended up with 22 of values in the blood.
And it shall be between 1- 7 in the blood and at lowest dose possible in patients.
The doctor shall after the law hold himself after the prescription of the medication on the legally dose and did not.
They dont do it still.
I am tired, short of breathe and can hardly walk in the mornings.
They did crime against me and nobody listen to my complains to the region doctor that treat me psychotic of a medical idea.
The medical idea is probably stolen
and it is a vitamin and mineral treatment product to use at home, so you can control you're vitamin and mineral levels at home and follow with them that you stay healthy.
If there is to litle vitamins and minerals you can go to the doctor.
It is just on the product idea plan and not been invented yet.
They moved me to security unit from open unit because i talked about this.
It is possible to make and the technology a woman in the USA has.
I have also more medical ideas and they treat me ill about them.
I am very kind and as a nurse working in hospital i walked around in silence a lot and wondered how the health system could do better.
I have more inventions but can't talk about them because of what has happened to me.
They tried to scare me to silence.
I am better without medication, but i can cooperate and go on less dose trilafon tablets.
Because a lot of nurses are not good in setting injection
and some has been insecure doing it.
I am not scared of setting injections because i have worked at a unit where there is a lot of injection being set on patient to relieve pain.
I also got permission from the doctor to set injections on my father when he was ill, because he wanted me to do it.
I am scared of being contaminated by not hygienic enough with setting injections.
Nurses need often more education and you are not a good nurse before it has gone 25 years in practice.
They have broken the law and lied about me in the system and i am telling the truth here.
I go to the Human Court in Haag in a while with my case for breaking human rights and health care law in the treatment of me.
They are kind in-between, but medication is just a little part of the healing prosess.
There needs to be communication in hope for the patients and they have to go after the law.
Sia - Chandelier (Official Video)
I danced like this hospitalized and Sia says drink, but it is not alcohol. It is water.
So drink. Metallica got a dispenser for drink that they sell on metallica.com called
" Drink em all ".
This Song Made Quite A Mess Around Me
I have always been a great U2 fans.
The 22. November 2004 the record " How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb " came out.
I was hospitalized that day and got a record of a friend of mine.
I did not fool myself with " Vertigo " and what they sing.
But a doctor got very schizophrenic against this record.
He has gone around in units showing his litle finger with his hand held up high.
There should be no mental or bodily manipulation toward patients in this behavior.
I started to burn my little finger because of this with cigarettes to show how he treated patients with mental manipulation.
The doctor do not communicate with patients unless they are kinder than Jesus.
I burned my little finger of Dire Straits :
" Money for Nothing "
to make the doctor understand that he deprived patients.
The same doctor isolated me for moths without any impressions and ruined my mental health.
He treated me against human rights.
Tinker- Belle and Imagination
In 2012 i got isolated for seven moths without any trips outside. It was horrible.
And against the law.
I talked to myself and told the truth about what i have been through.
I did not get anyone to talk to they just sat and listened to me and what i said and did not have any communication with me.
To survive i started to use my imagination and pretended that tinker belle was flying around.
I went through neverland in hospitalization.
Tinker belle was to show that i was kind and human and did not do anything other than to sit and talk,
I talked also in French and it was seen as psychic behavior.
I had noon to trust and they treated me against human rights.
Tinker Belle made me laugh and i talked to myself and pretended a lot after seen a movie with Tom Hansk stranded on an island and how he keept himself sane in isolation.
I think if i make it through back to health that i join the robinson expedition.
Noone in the psychiatric field has understood me expect and General from the Army that told me to sign myself out and talked to me how i should focus to survive.
He saved my life and was the kindest man ever to me.
He understood me and told me how to focus on goals and love.
To care about what i love to survive.
Tinker Belle i love and she saved me mental because she shows human affection and feelings.
Free Yourself From All Mental Trouble
This book i read for years ago and found that the way out of anxiety and depression is self talk.
To talk to yourself changes the habit of inner thinking and gives you reason to move on by talking sense to yourself.
I have been treated with medication for self talk and know that some doctors dont know the field they work in. There is a human factor in all treatment and they have to start with listening to patients and evaluate the doctors work by scemes and research to get the psychiatric health field good and the best way for a person to develop into a stronger and more healthier person than before.
It should in these days never be a shame to be hospitalized.
People go through crisis, all humans does that once or more in life.
It is normal.
It is possible to become stronger and more healthier if you read and dont stop searching.
Not all coaches is good.
Some coaches tells you to adapt from others, but this is wrong.
You shall find you're true self.
Self talk is good and gives you the chance to listen to you're voice and somebody supporting you in all, and that is you.
Be you're own best friend and self talk can help you out of loneliness to find serenity and peace and the way you want to live you're life.
This is a book in crisis therapy for severe trauma and it heals by reading.
Be you're own coach and beat anxiety and depression.
I read to get knowledge and understand that many nurses dont know their work.
They have treated me for psychosis by self talk
and it was reason and to myself i talked to cope with isolation.
Isolation for more than 24 hours should be forbidden.
There has to be communication between doctors and patients and not only medication that can deprive you're healt.
Sound Of Dolphins ~ dolphin calls
There is so much more to a human than what the psychiatric field gets hold of. It is important to work with the patients dreams, and know that they have feelings, and not treat them so much in the head that they get numb and deprived of thoughts and feelings. I have post depression after treatment and that tells me that the treatment has failed. I work on my own to get a good life with quality and live very good and that saves me. One of my dreams is to meet dolphins and they are gentle and intelligent animals. I recommend to read the book " The Dolphin " by Sergio Bambaren, a man that knows how it feels like to be different.
Puppy Saves The Day
Today i have had an reaction on all going on and been extremly tired of the medication and all happening the last week.
I was a litle depressed or more a desperado in my mind.
I looked after something saving me, and when i walked the long way to the store i met a man with a Shetland Sheepdog puppy that dragged the line towards me and i talked to them.
The Sheltie gave me goodness and happiness and a kiss on my cheek.
It made the whole day happier and tells me that i should get my own dog.
It will be a Flat Coated Retriever and here i live a dog goes strolls with himself.
The owners let him out and he exercises on his own and this make me laugh.
It is a dogs paradise where i live.
I have gotten Lasagna for dinner and is waiting for visitors to talk over all that has happened in the health care business.
It is time for a change.
Love dogs, because they are kinder than everything.
torsdag 10. mars 2016
Heart Feelings
Draw this heart to all people you love and for those who needs it.
To follow you're heart is important and gives you peace and joy.
My heart aches after the treatment of the community team and i draw to make it all right.
This angel heart i am probably the only one in the world that makes.
Make a difference and draw this heart to yourself also.
You are in my heart.
Community Treatment
Today i had visit of two nurses from the county community treatment team. I told them about a letter i got that they had told that it was impossible to make an individual plan, something i have asked for in over four years. They told me that they had not said this, and i had to believe them and somebody is lying. I dont understand all that is going on.
I told them further that i should have been delivered goals and part goals from the nurse that is in leading of the treatment together with the day plans i got.
She told me that i had to write this down on my own, but i told that i wanted to work together with someone making the goals. Then she told me that she was not responsible for this.
They have to be able to write a nursing plan for me. They shall understand my illness and what goals the best way is to lead to a healed life.
The nurse question is :
" How can Mona become healed and healthy ? "
And then they have to study for what makes the patients well.
I understand that i have to do all on my own, and i dont understand why they talk to the family about me, and the family talk little to me about my health.
The Feeling Good Handbook i work with alone, they did not comment on this book.
They told me that they wanted me the best and that i recovered and that i had a lot of knowledge.
But another nursing team from the institution i have been on wanted to have a meeting with the community treatment team to work out an Individual Plan. I am in the right by Norwegian laws to have a guidance plan in the nursing i receive to recover.
I write a book about plans and goals for patients and with an evaluation form where the patient shall write down how he feels his communication is with the nurses to keep the nursing by the laws. They shall not harm the patients. And worry them.
onsdag 9. mars 2016
Free Domain Idea and A Changing Idea For The World
I have an idea for world peace and a concept that works.
If someone want to start it i give the domain away for free, i have not money to buy it.
But it is urgent to work for world peace in all nations.
The domain dose not exist but you can buy it now.
www.colourpeace.com
Have a happy life with you're dreams fulfilled for all mankind.
i recommend to buy it on www.one.com
I Have Angels
She is my angel
The Norwegian Fjorhorse
with ancestors in the wild prezewalsky horse in Asia.
Her name is " Blondie "
I am kind.
Whiteflag.one
I have it like this, and work for peace.
I have worked in the secret with this and presented my idea for a known company and is waiting for answer.
When it is created a personal war in several people in the name of Peace On Earth something is terrible wrong.
It seems like many wants to rule the world.
I just want to have personal peace, and my conclusion is that when peace and joy is created in a person it starts a chain reaction in other people to.
The good and free peace is the most healthiest place to be in the body.
without medication, chemical peace in emotions takes away the individual personality in a person and gives not life quality.
Health is to be found in peace and joy.
The Feeling Good Handbook
This is a very good book i worked with for several years and understood a lot in the way of thinking people can have. It is against depression and is written by David D. Burns, M.D.
He gives this book instead of medication to his patients and tell them to work with the book for a month, and the most cases is doing good without medication.
I can't understand why i have not seen this book in any mental institution i have been to. I have been like a pinball in the system, so i might call myself " Flipper ".
The book is good and tell you how to think in a good way to change you're mood from depression to happiness and what to focus on.
Feeling good is for all people.
This book can get you of medication if you work with it together with a health care worker that understands.
Bibliotherapy is a good way to make it through, because you understand more of life by reading books.
I have serenity that do the thing that i make it through nearly on my own.
I have my budgie Happy that gives me company.
I dont understand why the psychiatrist mess so much with my head.
The body is a whole system that needs to be treated.
You can't treat the brain for physical symptoms and tell that they are only in you're head and not do anything medical.
I have not been taken blood samples of and i need to do that.
I find Recovery in reading and in music and have had a great day.
The best thing i learned from the Bible was to love you're enemies and pray for them.
But the law is the law and when it is gone so far that it risks the patients life and quality there is crime involved of health care workers.
I Am Donald Duck In My Head
This is what i do tonight, i am reading Donald Duck Pocket and are drinking Coca Cola and smoking.
I think i will have a short periode of a nervous breakdown in frustration over the nurses treating me from the community treatment team.
They handen me plans without anything filled in them and my Individual Plan goals was not included.
I saied to them that they had to interwiev me for my goals for the day and the week.
Without any goals i can't make it through.
I read Donald to understand what is going on.
tirsdag 8. mars 2016
Butterflies Is The One Thing That Saves Us
I put out pictures to tell that i am kind.
Butterflies saves us and if you act in peace and pray they will not be scared of you.
I feed butterflies with honey.
I AM Here
I am saved in the mood by " Blondie " the Fjordhorse and a friend of mine.
I had a bit of a hard time knowing that people has worked around me without giving me information. I got a letter from the Region Doctor that shall hold the laws together in the treatment.
I complained of not having Individual Plan that is signed by law that every patient shall have under long term treatment.
I have not had this in four years and a leader on the institution i was on now has written that i had a team around me working with me this years i have been hospitalized and that is not true.
I called the police to get help of all i have been through during the last time.
But the police officer was not kind to me, he just said :
" Talk to someone who cares "
in a rough way and told me to go other where to help me.
I Am Back
I am back at the farm with the horses and the people here.
It is an incredible kind farm.
I am in peace and have a cosy time and my heart dont ache so much and i am starting to go to the toilet. I nearly did not go to the toilet hospitalized and my heart functions better here at the farm.
I am tired and shall sleep for some hours.
I have had visits of friends that talks good to me.
But the best friend can be a horse.
Somebody Is After Me - Human Rights
I was to the county doctor, my hear beats a little fast and i hurt in my heart but the EKG was normal and i was sendt home by cab.
In the cab someone called to the driver and said :
" Is it going okay ? "
" No " he answered and everything was okay i just told a little about what was going on.
The cab driver said that someone did something to me but not who.
I am scared and have the right to life and privacy after human rights.
It is against the norwegian law what is going on.
...more up soon...
I am home with my budgie and she was happy to se me and sits and talk to me.
New Doctor
My heart is in pain and there is not measured blood pressure today.
I called the county doctor that took me in right away i have appointment at 10:15, and i talked to the leading nurse her that talked about sending me home, or to the psychiatric hospital.
It has only been a mess these days and now i got to know that i should pack my bags and go home, if not my county doctor send me to a medical unit, i need a full medical check out of my body.
I have done this all on my own and it was the nurses here that should have done it and the doctor, but i refuse to talk to him. Have not done anything.
mandag 7. mars 2016
Heartache
I have heartache of all going on in the system and i took my sleeping pill by a nurse and told them to read the paper they have hung up in the unit from the health directory in Norway that tells what laws i am in right to be treated after.
She did not comment anything of my pain in the heart and i told that the unit can be closed down in two years from now.
Then the nurse said in a sarcastic way :
" The ones who live will see. "
It was nearly a treath and i know that i am not so very mental ill.
But a nurse fighting for patients command by the law to good treatment and for my self.
I am very scared and that shows that i am normal.
Myself As A Nurse In Practice
I got chest pains and is very dizzy and feel a bit nausea.
I talked to the nurse that did not want to take blood pressure on me. She said that the doctor had said nothing about it.
I got angry, but talked in a mature and controlled way and called the medical unit at the hospital. The Nurse there have my case in the papers by a cardiology doctor told me that if i got symptoms on heart desiese i should get hospitalized there. She told me to call my doctor outside the system.
After i called the medical unit and told the nurse she took the blood pressure on me on my command.
It was 142/91 and 100 in pulse.
It is a bit high and can give symptoms.
The nurses and the doctors have broken the law. I am in right always to medical acute treatment by the laws in Norway for health care workers.
I am worried and scared of why they treat me this way.
It is crime in the health care system by nurses and doctors.
I read the doctors laws and what they swear on to become doctors and they shall protect life at all times. The doctors has not done that with me.
...Follow up for more...
tomorrow i call my county doctor and see if they drive me to him.
I takes notes about my health and hope i get help in time.
Somebody Is Very Kind - I Am Here For One Week
This is the Sunday Letter from the hospital priest and it is about The Pope. And what he has done for the year, to bless it for caring for people.
Somebody is kind and i read this letter right now.
I am very weak and have strong side effects and talked about the caring Samaritan.
People can help in different ways and the Pope is a very kind man.
I have prayed to never become God in my head, but to stay humble and strong for my son.
Somebody saves us.
I dont get up the original music videos. But i like this song a lot and are not waiting for the pope to call me, but someone else.
The Pope is the kindest man in the world.
The BIGGEST LOONEY TUNES COMPILATION: Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck and more! [...
Somebody knows good nursing for mental care - enjoy :-) I am laughing.
What Kind Of Nursing I Should Receive
I am a looney, but know nursing, and it feels like i am the only one knowing what shall be done in this institution. I should have been examined by nurses with blood pressure and pulse and taken blood sugar test. Of the doctor i should have been given an EKG and maybe a day and night telemetric examination of the heart. There should be taken some tests of my blood and how much medication i have in my body.
More i should get nice talks with the nurses and they should in a dynamic way gone on me towards communication to give me hope and meaning in life.
Nothing of this has been done.
It is time that old systems get replaced with new ones. Ego is just and idea and i have to say for myself that it is all about soul and you can find solutions in good books and in movies and fairytales. The old fairytales are good and i have read this a lot to my son.
This documentary i have seen and know that the system is not good.
I am treated with a medication from the 1960.
But know that many institutions gives good care and researches in new solutions. I am for less medication and to treat the nervous system to function well, because in optimal health, thoughts functions good.
In Memory Of Jaro The Flat Coated Retriever
To go through treatment and not understand the actions in other nurses when they are not kind is hard. But i have a place in my heart i can return to to full remission. That is recovery. To take back yesterday and think of good memories. This is our firs Flat Coated Retriever " Aya ", that hold control on the family so we not argued. If we argued, she stepped in the middle and barked. So you can understand that we kids in the family got raised up by a intelligent dog. She was so kind and never was in a cobble. She was loose all the time and together with us kids everywhere.
After she died i got my own Flat Coated Retriever " Jaro ", he was extremely kind and extremely happy. He was a hurricane of a dog so when i got ill nobody managed him so i had to give him away. It was very hard and i have grieve over this still. Even the veterinary wanted him as his own, but his wife did not let him have a dog. " Jaro " was the most beautiful Flat Coated Retriever he had ever seen, and he was so trained that in anastetique there was still muscle tonus in his body. The veterinary had never seen or experienced this before. And i was in very good shape myself of the dog.
The Police came to see Jaro, to see if they could take him in as a drug seeking dog. Jaro went through all the tests good, but on one thing he failed. He did not show aggression in trigging him by going after his nose and eyes. He just sat in " sitt " and looked at the police man trigging him in a happy way. The Police could not take him in because he had to show some aggression in him to be in the police force. But i was proud. I had trained him to handle a lot of children, because we had a lot of friends of my son at home. And i could trust " Jaro " 100 %.
I am very kind and miss the life with dogs. I will start today to save up money to get a good companion again that keeps me exercised. And the farm i live on is a paradise for a dog.
Have a nice day, i am holding the line.
Exhausted
To be treated in the psychiatric field can be something exhausting.
I was hospitalized of to much medication and can hardly walk.
Today i had meeting with the doctor and the leading nurse her, she did all the talking, and about what happened yesterday with the nurse lying i was the one who got shielding from them. I dont understand the treatment and i wanted to go home. It is lack in understanding of my situation.
I had to go to the store and i wasn't sure if i managed the walk and asked the leading nurse if she could drive me. She said that no-one had the time, and i asked if they had time for a ten minute conversation. That she had time to. But she did not want to drive me.
I walked a slowly walk to the store and was feeling the bumping of my heart that is not good. And i did not get a medical examination today either, and it gives me a lot of worries.
I dont understand their nursing factor here in the district.
søndag 6. mars 2016
My Memory
To get well it helps to photograph good memories.
I am so kind that i feed butterflies that are not scared of me, but eat when i put out food to them.
I have troubles sleeping of a nurse fuzzing my head with telling untrue symptoms about me for years ago. She also told lies about what happened to my resent dead grandma. She told that they emptied the house. But that was not true. Someone else has been living there for several years.
To sleep well tonight i have taken out the book " Beat " it is about writers writing for å new generation for change. Bought lyrics and novels.
No-one of them got hospitalized.
And they save my hope of writing.
I have put it on my pillow to rest my head to hope for good sleep.
This Is What The Room looks Like
All i got is this, and i dont sleep very well.
I am to tired to sleep well.
Beds are kind but it is not nice.
The room is cold and not cosy.
Enviroment and Estetique enviroment i got teached in nursing school.
That a nurse also should see the healing and recovery in a good environment that stimulates the senses to hope and healing.
The patients shall feel comfortable.
At home i have a happy purple painted bed from 1920`s in Jugend Style.
But i know that children many places in the world sleeps at the street.
It is time someone rally understands
TLC
" Tender Loving Care "
Nursing In Practise Psychiatric health field
To work as a nurse is to save lives, treat ill people after all prosedyres and get the patient well.
A nurse shall give hope all the time and try to find the meaning of life together with the patients when hope and meaning is gone.
It is to listen and ask question without leading a patient to psychosis or to diagnose.
People are not theire diagnose and they have to see beyond that and what kind of loving person the patients is.
It is to examine the patients after a written data analysis that is given under the nurse study and get it all to right place.
A patients finds love in things they do and they have to strengthen this as a recourse to get the patient back in to a good life and cure, depression, anxiety and psychosis.
A person is not crazy they have blocking in their thought og delusions made by experiences and some patients needs to stay on medication, but i believe many could be without medication.
The doctor has to see the goodness in the people and i am a kind loving mother to a son that loves me.
I have reality checks on my own to focus on the real things in life and read papers and watch news and films on the tv. It can also gives you learning.
I have written to World Health Organization that they need to develop a standart examination sceme to understand the patients and find out where the patients is here ann now in their situation and treat all people as if they alway has been good people.
I have always been kind and Michael Jackson knew a lot. He sang about how he feels and not what his thoughts was, because people with feelings of love is in control.
Somebody works to give us people a guideline to where we should be in life and that is not deprecating treatment breaking the human rights - Norway is put under the laws by UN.
There is very little responsibility with the nurses and they dont ask me how i feel.
I have my dreams for a good life and owns.
and some other domains.
The doctors treat this as illness and it is in my reality very mad of them.
It is innovative businesses i can work with if i was off medication.
I can hardly go for a walk of the side effects.
A nurse was still very nice to me today and i told her about
professional wrong believes against patients.
Rebells have been rebells all the time the world has existed and they are not crazy people.
Eminem talks worse than me, and i like him a lot of the record " Recovery "
Read All You Can
Read this book of JK. Rowling
" The Cuckoo`s Calling "
It is a good book and explains a bit.
It is a crime novel written very good and JK Rowling understands a lot.
It is about a super model with bipolar disorder dying.
I am very kind and read to understand the reflections i have made over nursing.
Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life
I have had a bad day in the system.
I am over medicated and my heart rate is fast and i am short of breathe on overdose with Trilafon injection. I took medication in tablets voulounterly and they forced me on forced medication anyway and tell that they have tried to medicate me voulounterly, but they have not.
My heart works hard because of short of breathe and a lot of side effects.
I did not get a medical physical examination of the doctor.
I just go around and hang lose in the line and feel that i am dying early of a medication that is deprecating for me and i have been like this for over two years.
I functioned better without medication and was stronger and i did not get hospitalized often before they gave me a lot of medication.
The body takes a lot and is strong but nobody reports my side effects and nobody controls my blood pressure and my puls that is racing.
I dont know what nurses and doctors do against psychiatric patients in the psychiatric health filed.
I manage to laugh in-between but did not laugh at a nurse i worked together with earlier laughed at my situation.
I sometimes think the whole world has gone mad and that was the reason i got hospitalized in the fist place.
I need examination of a medical doctor that knows the body and the reactions.
I play music, read and talk to patients that are suffering and i need work therapy to function well.
I did not get a diagnose before they took away the work therapy at the hospital for some years ago. Here i am now there is work therapy but all i want to do is to go home.
They dont know medical examination here.
Someone should have given me a thoroughly medical examination and given med an EKG to see how my heart works.
I am scared in-between of this happening and it is against the law.
The Nurse As An Agent
I am reading this book at my recovery and know that in the role of a nurse in a changing system you got to be strong and develop a social and work identity that can take change.
The system is not being changed by solving the problems by old solutions.
It is time to think new in the psychiatric health field and go for a model with less medication and learn the patients how to live a quality life with meaning with teaching them and educate the patient.
The book takes up the problem that change in the system can bring apathy and warfare in the system in the fright of change.
I am very kind and go for a new model i write about in a novel about healing in the environment with therapeutical movement towards animals. Especially horses.
I have a budgie that is called " Happy " that has saved me from loneliness. I have walked a lonely road and write for change and see that people do something with persons changing and having the courage to go towards doctors.
The system har to examined and listen to the patients dreams with research.
The book is very good and was not official literature in my nurse studying days.
Change has to come in fast.
It costs the system billions to not treat the patients right.
Here the patients are laughing at me and my change model.
I have a book with publisher on over 400 pages to change into healing, recovery and a life with quality for all in the system.
Shakira understood something.
I wash clothes all the time. I keep the washing room clean and hygienic.
I have taken this responsibility on my own.
Somebody understands.
They are kind.
lørdag 5. mars 2016
Here is kind in the system
It is kind here and i talk about nursing and what has really happened to me in some years. I need a understanding doctor that listen to my subjective story and my feelings.
Patients are laughing at me and what i have talked about and know there is hope in every illness. Hope is there for all.
Horses is for all and you dont need to ride them to heal.
But riding gives you're body strength and healing.
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