I MADE IT !!! The diet that works for all fat people :-)

I went home today and have felt so bad that i don't have had structures and measuring of my goals. But even with this i made it through. I am back in size Medium ( 10 ) and is looking in the body like i did ten years ago and i have been 100 kilos - 200 punds !!!
I have done this nearly without exercise and know that all people can diet down and i have done this with medication and a slow metabolism and the diet works good. But I am higher in muscles than for ten years ago and stronger in the body and have not lost my breasts. I love the diet !!! The man teaching me the diet was a 92 year old man i had as a patients when i was working as a nurse and he told me what to do because he was stronger than 20 year old men.  It is the Power Diet and it is based on eating fish and seafood. It makes you're muscles stay on and fat goes off you're body. I write a book about this diet and i say no to all protein shakes and bars because there is little science on what that does to the body. It was not in the 50`ties and 60`ties when this man was young. I am 40 years old and stronger then when i was 30 !!! It is incredible and i feel up for life. I am soon ready for a night on the city and dating again :-) I have had a very bad time and suffered a lot but know that the impossible can be done even when you are not making it very good. I have tried on jeans and clothes the all day and is laughing of being 100 kilos and going down. The strange part was that people treated me kinder when i was 100 kilos. I looked soft, cosy and kind. Now i look a bit tougher and stronger and hope soon i am fit for reality :-)

Eat fish and seafood and i develop a product in food if i make it through to sell to the diet that works better than protein shakes and bars and is more healthier. I am working with this together with a friend and i will front it myself. Have hope all you cosy soft people. I have been there, tried it and know the diet work. Wait for my book or send me a mail and i explain the diet more for you. A good advice. Stay a bit hungry in-between because food tastes better then. It is a lifestyle that make you strong and i know i am even though i am in a mental institution and none of the patients don't understand why i am there. Hold on and start today with seafood. I make products to the diet that makes you're body healthy and strong. Have all hope you can have and it is all worth it to diet down and you will also have good laughs :-) I am looking for a kind man that understands like Muse does. Crazy is the new Normal :-)

Garbage Clowns

This is the clown of the day - to brighten up the day and tell you to play more in life. Everyday can be a struggle but with an artistic wiev on life nearly all can be seen in humor. I lost my father two months ago and it was hard to let go and i thought i would be in grieve. But the strange part was that moments of fun and all his fun sides came back to me and i laughed a lot in grieve. People are remembered differently and when you say goodbye to someone you love the strangest moments can come back to you. I chose to meet life with a smile and the clowns keep me always in a good mood. They are out for sale - so if you want one - just contact me on e - mail.

Rainbow Breeze

I thought this should be the name of a race horse. I am back to horses and they keep me in spirit. I am planning in buying my own horse. But money decides and thats the truth that it often does. Money can tell people who you are in things you own. But poor people holding their identity no matter what is stronger than people with money. Happiness is not for money - but in my case with horses it is. I need to save money and in the time for that i paint. The pictures are for sale and this picture is 1m in the wide and 2 meter high. It is for sale to the one bidding highest. It is to make you heal and for happiness.

The pictures are painted in prayers and happiness and is to always be in a good mood and have a place to return to.  I have more work done and present this working now and then.

49 Millions American Starves - Here Is A New Sollution In Making Them Happy Again

This morning in the unit i was waching Dr. Phil and learned new things about neuroscience and the fact also was presented that 49 Millions Americans starves and lack daily food. I was in schoock over not hearing and seeing this before now in 2015 and wonder what the gouvernement in USA has done to make this come to an end, or to say in a kinder way : A NEW BEGINNING for all in poverty and lack of food. Poverty is a huge factor in the world. And when i saw this i got the idea. Why not do as me and my friends does. Some of us make food together to save money because when we make on our own we always has leftovers. And it could be the start of a new society. Where people get help for theire problems bought physical and mental and not be alone anymore, and children get new friends and has a richer childhood than to only sit inside and play computer games.
I had the idea of a new plan www.foodfamily.com but it was taken i think. But something in that way to make people eat together and give theire leftovers away. It is so easy. And the world is in poverty because of all the wars going on. USA need to take a new direction for theire people in poverty ( and so does also Norway ) Everything is  kind here and also towards USA. You can believe one thing and find out that it is the totally opposite. No country is perfect but the world needs to be more including. And helping someone can give you the ticket to youre life - that someone saves you when you need it. We never know our future. So make more parties is my sollution and make the world a happier place together with old and new friends. Poverty can end with all working together for a better world. And Best of Luck America !!! :-)

You can think a billion things at one time

I have thought a lot about how the brain and our mind function. We use by research not more then 10 % and has an endless capasity. I got a diagnose and realised that i had more talents then i thought. Like i could play the piano at the age of 37 without have played it before. And i draw and painted better. I have delievered exams to apply the citys art school this year and will go into art theraphy as a nurse and tell that the mind developed at all ages. It is not true that our personality is formed at the age of 3 years old. We develope all life and a new life meets us everyday. I have learned that people with alzenheimer can learn to remember with people never giving them up and train them with new impressions every day.
Today in the smoking room i got a new thought. And that is that we are able to think a billion things in one time. Just form a picture in youre mind like an artist and put as many things you want in that picture. And the picture formes to one thought with billions things in it. We are all incredible in the way we think. And to get the power over youre thoughts and not be afraid of them cures all mentall disese. To be an artist and a thinker can get youre life into ways you never believed. I never believed i would end up in a mental institution with the " thought police " - i love Muse for theire song Resistance. To shape beautiful thoughts can make youre whole life change. Only one good thought that you can hold in youre mind can cure you. I have impression from real horses in my mind and that cures me. I go to the stable to ride and overcome fright by horses that treats me good and dont make any fuzz. I live for seeing a new world formed by magic thoughts that go into art because it forms youre life. One picture can heal you or make youre life easier and form youre identity. To get people into art and find theire potential and talent can be done at any age. And i think of horses running out from water now. Our mind can work in the most beautiful way - without the doctor to notice because they just dont understand the developing mind. Every day is new in my life - like my experiences and my painting. The world is so beautiful and people beeing kind and loving the world gets closed in - i think it is about time that the psyciatrick field think new. That people do change by theire working and theire experiences to think thoughts never thought before. Think of all the most important and beautiful things in youre head all the time - or as often as you can and get a new life. It forms all youre identity and with coping with probblems and think beautiful you get healed or a better and new person. I have a good time and is soon written out of the hospital and will take pictures to my blogg. Love every second of life because you have only this life.

Happier Days I am Writing " The Idiots "

Life turns by the moments and i have better days. Today i was home and felt up for a marzipan cake and bought one and had coffe and cake together with a man working at the unit. He got surprised over the change in me when i was at home, because i was all me. To be hospitalized is the most boaring life on earth. I also found out by the doctor that i am given a diagnose because of real problems the doctors has not believed in, but i have a private psycologist that knows it is true, and i go back to her to get rid of the diagnoze. It is difficult to be nearly a sane person and get treated with schizophrenia. But i am really not. So the world can be a very crazy place. It is family problems that has given me the diagnoze and some people are playing games. I dont. I just want a peacefull life and go and play the lotteri to see if i can win some money to build or buy a house. It is allowed to dream. I write a novel about all the things happening so people can understand the truth. So when i go back home the crime novel i write " The Idiot " changed title to " The Idiots ". Dostovjeski wrote " The Idiot " so i cant use that title. Maybe i end up without no diagnoze going back to my psycologist because somebody plays St. Mary and is not. I have been fooled to hospitalization and diagnose and i really dont know why. To my family i have to be kinder that jesus christ to get in and be traeted nice. And i am a bit to crazy for life to go under that, and normal borders you should have when people control you for years. I did not want to get controled anymore. But got a diagnoze and got more controled but the private psycologist knows that i am not the problem. It is a hard struggle and i probably have to move out of the country to get normal treatment with people that understand different diagnosis in people. In my family i am not the only one that should have a diagnose. and i wonder what the psycologist tells about me. The crimenovel " The Idiots " took a new direction. When you dont get information in what has happened over three years and finally gets it you get in shoock, but i make it through and i dont give up easily to get my life back. I have been kind all my life and never been in any trouble with nobody else than a few persons in my family and they have played me hospitalised. St. Mary is not in my family but really good actors that hides seveare problems. " The Idiots " will be finished fast when i get signed out in some weeks. Life tends to give you what you need and that was a marzipan cacke and a cosy talk, some dreams about winning the lottery and some laughs over how good patients are because one wanted to sign me out today. He dont understand what i am doing here at the unit. ( ???? .... to be continued...my life is worse than Glamour and Dallas....phuuu.... i survive. ) ( I think i am still in my teens sometimes :-)))

A Better Day

It is morning here and the scenery and the nature is beautiful. My mood changed around of a friend and my son. I have so many that loves me and when they stay in there together with you everything is easier. Yeasterday was Saturday and i went to shop a jeans and some make up. It was a bit hard for me to get a jeans that suited because i have gone down in weight and is size 10. I have gone down from size 16. And is still going down. I got help in the store in one of the most special and beautiful young woman i have ever seen. She looked like Nelly Furtado only more special. She had a lot of personality and was the kindest to me. It helped a lot to get good service. I go back when i am signed out to tell that woman how special she is. I painted, wrote and did some artistic drawing of figure i saw in the dust at the computer screen and the drawings turned out good. I played card and hung out with my friend. So i slept well this night. We friends here at the unit helped also out a kind man that stayes in his room all the time because he hears voices and dont manage to be together with us. I helped him out with talking about my experience when i had those symptoms. I dont have them anymore. And the man sat  a long time together with us in the evening and i hope he had a good night. It feels good to help and i know a lot about hearing voices. I have once heard that myself but not anymore. So i can use my skills to others and help them out to dont hear voices anymore. It is not scary at all and i am braver than earlier and know that to work and be myself gets me happy. I asked the unit for group theraphy and they would start it when they saw the effect we patients have on eachother and that is good. I also learned a new card game yeasterday and i went to bed all right and woke up this morning feeling good. I walk better when i am in a better mood. Patients can help more than nurses because they have first hand experience. Be kind to all mentall ill. They suffer a lot and only dream small dreams in getting theire life back. Times changes - it is just to hang in there.

When It Hurts II

Days passes by and i recall memories. The medication make me weak and dizzy. I have not quality on life and it seems like my pased get me. I float back to better days when i was well and in stamina. I think about it all and tries to write a novel about the psyciatric field in a humourous way to make people see how bad the treatment is. I dont recall all my life and the psyciatric treatment drag me into a role where i am not ill, but depressed over my situation and only focusing here and now when i talk. It is no place to be. The doctors is in the believe that i am better. But i am only resigned with no forces to fight. I read, listen to music and paint to make the days going and only hope that a better psyciatric field is beeing developed with happiness to the patients. I walk as a bag. Short steps and very tired. It is no good treatment to be in the role of a passive humanbeeing without the control to use youre own will to reach youre dreams. It seems like i make it through. All i want is back to my appartment, be together with my good friends and write novels and paint. It is not a lifestyle that requires medication. Actually i understand very litle in how they treat me. " Turn My Head " i put out today, because i have a love story i cant remember all of. It seems like the years erase the feelings and the thoughts. Or maybe it is the medications. I hope all can have the reality to dream and reach theire dreams. I still dream - but very litle. It is just to try to hang in there as long as i can.

When It Hurts

Sometimes everything hurts. I have it like this now. It seems like my future goes in to medications that drains me out and make me to a bag of tiredness. I suffer a lot in the mornings, and it is far away from the wivvid girl with stamina that celebrated every coming new day. I dont understand how the doctor think. I am to much medicated and suffer a lot. Once in my life i went out running in the mornings with my dog, and now i can hardly walk. It scares me how the doctors think and how many people that goes away from you when you suffer from a mental illness. You end up nearly alone.
I wish and pray that society could do something. The treatment is to bad and i dont know how long i last in this feelings. It is no life.
Dreams is still there for art school and a life in joy, but it seems like million miles away. To end up like this is hard and people seem like they only want the perfect life. They dont want to bother with us with mental issues even though how kind we are. And i meet only kind people. I cried yeasterday and the only one talking to me and wanting to save my life was a fellow patient. So what do the people work in the units do ? Patients should be signed out when they work better than the nurses. I dont understand the system. I hope i get a better day. But it seems like my life is headed to a lot of suffering. I still dream on praying that somebeody one day understands that medication is not the sollution it take away all quality and joy of life. Take care of youreself and hope you never get mentall problems. Live all you can, because it might be to late one day. stay with friends that loves you and care for them. I hope my situation turns. And will be back for more later.

If We Only Dared The World Would Be Saved

Today i got a lesson in life skills by an old lady. I had my daily walk and had been to the hospital buying a magazine and a chocolate bar and i walked to a beautiful scene by a bench with good wiev. I sat there alone and after a while an old lady came walking. She saw me and walked towards me and smiled. She apologiezed for herself for walking not so good. I told her that in all ages you need exercise. I thought she should have known my story, but i did not tell that i am patient at a mental unit. She talked to me that she felt so bad after visiting a friend that was not so good at the hospital. And i helped her relieve the pain and she walked in better mood and walked better.
It learned to me that it is so litle in this life that helps out people having a bad time. And if there was a world full of " Helping Agents " that people could talk to when they not felt good the world would be a better place. I helped out someone in my way today and it felt good. The lady got to know nothing about me. I look well and i act well and have a lot of kindness in me to help out other people. It cost nothing giving other people love and kindness and it can help a lifetime. So reach out to the people around you no matter where you are. It can change the world for someone.

Runners High

Today i desided to go for it. I know i can`t be passive anymore. I have been walking and hiking and i have blogged over a year. It take time to heal and it has been a rough year for me. It feels like this also in my body. Today i exercised with the physical theraphist and later on i runned for a while. I have not been running for years. I still smoke but my stamina and breathing was good and the only thing i felt was a litle pain in my knees. But it will go away when i diet down. I have my picture as inspiration to go back to the stamina i once had. I was very good exercised and had a lot of energy. It felt good to make a new start and one nurse got so happy for me that she got more happy than me ???
I laugh a litle. But it is good to make a fresh start and see that it works out. No matter where you are in life you can start exercise and i have gone down 20 kilos in a year and have 20 more to go. So i think my project takes two years. It take a lot of will power but it pays of. I have side effects of the medications and that is that it slower down the body metabolism and it takes more energy to exercise. But i am doing it !!! I got runners high and good laughs of running and good feedback with the nurses. I need to buy new shoes and equipment and gear to make this goal happen to be all myself again - but i know and feel now i can do it and that is better than for one year ago. A lot has happened. I have moved, and is soon moving again, i have work in a stable and take riding lessons, i hike and i draw, write and paint a lot. So all in all i should be satisfied with that i have a good life. The goals has payed of. I am attending the art school in this city to the autumn and later on i take a ph.d in psycosis treatment and i have worked together with the staff on the unit with application on money to more outdoor treatment. So a lot happens around me. Always have a good spirit and never give up. There is always a good life waiting for you and i am having runners high and it feels good.

Dont Ever Give Up On Youre Dreams

I am heading to a new life.
1. I am moving to the city Aalesund and maybe a cosy loft appartment on 90 square feet, i go to watch it tomorrow or the day after. It will be huge for me to live there and it is very beautiful and good.

2. I got mail from a publisher that they are evaluating a fantasy fiction novel i have written to publishing. I might get a no - but people have read it here in the unit, bought men and women and they liked it a lot.

I am shivering in happiness and relieve to finally be on the right direction. I have wanted more to be a writer than a nurse, because i can write about nursing and not be working in first line. Today it all got a bigg fuzz in me of all happening and it was excitement i have not felt in years.

Dont ever give up - if it so has to go to the end of the world - but to calm you down - i think it is billions of lightyears before the world goes under ( actually i think it never will ).

Have a good day - and hold always on to the true person you are - one fine day it pays off :-)

New Line In Coaching - it got silent around me :-)

Everyday new thoughts about life can occur. Last night i solved a psycological riddle. I have been in pain and grieve over people only wanting things and get the best job etc... Often the goal is materialism and money. Psycological treatment only goes on thoughts and behaviour and i thought out load in the unit after thinking about goals : 1. What do i want to feel ?
The answear was easy. I want to laugh and stay social having fun. I dont want so much what others want. But i need some things in life as a job, a house and a vaccation once in a while. But i knew i was standing over a lifechanging question. I want to laugh until i die.
My first goal is to stay together with people i laugh together with and i have the simmilar humour and people that understand me. It is not difficult to make this goal happen. I fulfilled it right away. Here is humour but i cant write much about it because i need to protect the private life to other patients. But change youre thought to how you want to feel. Happiness is found in laughter. But the chace after happiness in only things dont give you happiness for life. People you laugh together with gives you a strong happiness. I need also to go after comics, and films and magazines etc to get myself to laugh more. It is easy to make this goal happen. Ask youreself what feelings you want to have and not what you think is a superious goal like money and the perfect partner etc... To give youreself time to sorten out what feelings you want to feel you can set up a new direction in life that dont cost much. The goals are often in reach very soon. Try it - because i think you will succed faster than you think and get youre dream life straight ahead. It got very quiet in the unit when i talked about that all the psyciatric field is wrong. I speak and write better in Norwegian and a medical doctor got very silent. Maybe we are up for a change in the psyciatric field that problems get solved faster. And by the way - something was wrong with my shower, four nurses tried to fix it. but a patient came in and sortened it out at once !!! We are not stupid and  lesson learned to all of the nurses. The patients asked afterwards : " Why are I on medications ? " Nobody could answear good on that. :-)