I Am Going Country

God has an answer to all our prayers.

I have lived in a tiny dark studio,

i prayed that the lord would give me another place to live.

And so he did.

I am moving to a farm by the seaside.

This beach by the seaside is close to the house, i can se the beach from 

my bedroom and hear the sound of ocean.

It is a miracle and i am so happy and relieved that i

cry in happiness in-between.

There is always a new way

and maybe better than what you think yourself.

Just like it is for me now.

The dream became better than what my own dreams was.

Somebody knows

He knows

Now I Know - I Know

Somebody fooled me

Posture

Satyricon feat Sivert Høyem " Phenix " " Face to the sky " Picture is taken in 2003.

I Sometimes Wonder ... ?

Today i wrote to the American President about something

Olympic schools for children to develop their talents

and it is meant in the Olympic spirit

Peacetime at all time.

Refugees and children without parents can live at the Olympic schools 

and develop a new future for us, also the elders.

I believe in the future.

And say go for it Ozzy !!!

Do They Understand One Day ?

I can't write...have a good time :-)

Grieve And Respect to France And The Rest of The World

May They Rest In Peace

Who Controls Norway ?

Today was not a great day.

I lack money and got some money for help

600,- norwegian krone and that is about 40 usd for 8 days.

But i make it on this money.

I walked to the county house and everyone i met walked faster than me.

I was sad 

because i have been in better shape

and i walk better without medication.

My medication level is 23.5

and shall be within the amount of 1- 7

and the medication shall be held on lowest possible doze.

I got enough and called the " Sivilombudsmannen "

It is a man chosen by the law to help the citizens of the state of Norway.

I presented my case ( of all i have written in this blogg and some more )

but they could not answer me.

Finally i asked the question knowing that nobody knows the system good enough :

" Who rules the country of Norway ? "

They could not give me an answer so i just hung up.

I have to take my case out of the country

and

sit with the net and try to find a good attorney that is not afraid of the government and will help the people of Norway.

I dont think i am the first one this happening to.

But i hope i will be the last one.

People die in treatment 

and it has costed over 50 million norwegian krone to treat me.

They could just have given me a job.

I Have Help From Someone Up Above

Sometimes you questioning all the reason to life and why you have to go through suffering.

I moved from a house on 149 square feet and lived over my ability but it kind of spoiled me.

I had for other reasons to move out of that house and into a tiny municipal apartment. That got me down in mood and just existing and not enjoying the environment around me. It went out over my health, because the apartment i live in now is on ground level and everybody can look in. I feel like i dont get any private life and have no view.

But today all changed.

I have gotten to rent the main floor in an old farm house with stables to it and next to a large beach and there is extremely good view.

The woman who helped me to it chosed  me because i am kind and believe in the lord above like she does.

Believe can help you to better places.

And i move in before christmas.

So now my head is filled with interior ideas 

and i am about to build a new cage to my budgie Happy

of an old closet.

I can't wait to get a new fresh start.

And enjoy the housing like never before because i have lived so badly.

It is like someone from above lead me to this woman that also has become a close friend.

She said :

" Now you can have a horse and a dog and be happy ! "

I am so thankful that i nearly cry in happiness over all this suffering coming to an end, and a new fresh start by the seaside is for me in next month.

I will be up with pictures when i start decorating the house.

Have a good happy day

and

remember that God is up for surprises and he really surprised me better than what i have imagined ! :-)

Painting For A New Day

I am in a painting level and in a mode that keep me in spirit to paint different things. Where i live in Norway we have a beautiful wiev towards mountains.

And i paint this mountains

and the light is so beautiful.

I wil be up with more mountain paintings in acrylic painting

and i will go over to paint more oil.

The painting is for sale and is 100 cm - 100 cm.

If you want a mountain from Norway it is just to take contact with me.

Have a nice and beautiful day !

World Peace Day

I am questioning how much work there are for peace.

I had never heard of World Peace Day 

before today.

The international day of Peace is set to 21. September.

I hope this is celebrated over the entire world next year.

I hope and pray it can be bigger than earth hour.

I hope all the world light a candle next year.

I am about to found an organization for peace called

Whiteflag.one

It will work for peace in every single way 

and

sell pins ( needles ) with white flags to carry to symbolize

peace

The world is chaotic of all the wars going on

and the wars need to stop.

I hope every citizen in the world could change their hearts

to focus on peace

care 

and 

love.

If There Was No Money - There Is No Problem ?

I am wondering a lot in how kind people really are ? Forgiveness is one thing, i got that right. But there is so much poverty in the world and i learned that if the worlds population used the same lifestyle as in Norway they would have used up three worlds, as we live in today. Yesterday i saw about bit coin on tv. I did not understand it all...because i am blonde. But i understood one thing today. That if the world was a " giver " society there would be no hunger...there would be no wars...and there would be no poverty. What if the market created giver coins. Or tickets that gave people things. I need a lot of stuff. But when i look around i already have enough. I am wondering about this new system a lot...because we have generations to think of in this world today ? How about the man that wanted a free meal and would talk about bit coin. They thought he was the founder of bit coin...they don't know who is behind it. But maybe he thought them all a lesson. Give away. I start tomorrow giving away books and other stuff. And take only what i need... and if somebody wants to take me to dinner i say yes...i don't like to coock meals only to myself...there needs to be a lot of thinking done. But who has the time ? They all nearly wants something all the time ? I am wondering of this for a long time : " Will there be no problem without money if we gave love, peace and kindness and not at least care ? "

Clovn Of The Day

Todays clown is called " Litle Goodheart "

It is a kind clown that shows kindness.

It is good therapy painting the clowns 

and it always gets me in a good mood.

Litle Goodheart has gotten new owner.

But i have more clowns for sale.

If you are interested just take contact.

Hope you get a happy feeling and a happy day always.

Clovn Of The Day

When you see to little happy faces it can be good to paint one

or to have a happy blissful face that keeps you in spirit.

This clovn really got my mood cosy and happy.

It is for sale, so if you are interested it is just to take contact by mail.

Have a hilarious happy day !

At The Stable With Oliver

This is " Oliver " a 17 year old gelding. He is half arabian horse and half norwegian cold blood horse. He is extremely kind and my leading partner in riding.

He is so kind and gentle that it takes me past my fear,

that i have a neck injury that can come fatal out if i fall of a horse.

But my interest for riding goes over that fear and it makes my neck better to ride. 

I had riding lesson for an hour yesterday and i have bought new riding equipment.

A black riding jeans and a black jacket. It looks cool.

But the best part is to be good dressed in the winter coming up in Norway.

Yeasterday i got good news also :

I can maybe rent a house nearby the sea and a huge beach here on these islands and i got so happy. Sometimes it seems like it all makes out to the better.

I am so looking forward to good days in the stable healing from all i have been through and a new day in a new house.

Some days just are the best and i stay together with good friends.

Life is great and good times shines through no matter what has happened. 

The Butterfly

Today i had a guest outside 

A Butterfly 

It was so beautiful and brought joy to me.

I got honey to it and wanted to se if he was hungry.

It told me that new life and new moments comes around always.

It was nearly tame.

Not afraid at all and just wondering what weird person who came out of the blue and served him honey.

There Comes A New Day

There will come a new day - and a day when poverty can become a blessing - hold on !

Have a day in Peace !

Or for the rest of you're life it is our choise.

Painting The Tiger

These days i work on a picture and a project i have called :

" Painting The Tiger " 

it is a art project in painting to deal with traumas and problems occurring in the everyday life. To work on  a mental state and paint tigers i do from the book :

" Walking the Tiger " by Peter A. Levine PH. D

it is about healing traumas and get ready for life again. 

I have desided to paint a lot of tigers in different postures and it is not an easy thing to do.

The tiger i present in painting today is the first one and it is a kind tiger.

Knowing that all creatures human and animals are well and at good health in their natural surroundings.

There is nothing to fear when you have healed you're traumas and art is a good way out of mental suffering. And a tiger stands for stamina, solidity and strength.

I have more strength than what i really know and painting make my days meaningful and give me a work.

I hope you can find inspiration to paint yourself.

Self Studying Art Classes : " Seize The Day "

This is how far i got today in painting an angel.

I am not finished yet with the picture

and 

has to work a bit more on it.

But the day is seized into finding a way in the art out of everyday problems.

It makes life easier to paint 

and you can see a bad day have something more to it than what you're expectations is of the day.

My day became brighter and showed me that i produce something different than what my mood really says.

And it is an little angel being a little bit nasty.

I put out a music video of advenged seven fold " Seize the Day. "

You have to seize the day no matter how you feel and it can be done in a million different ways. 

And my day got a whole lot better of painting and studying art.

I am not the best painter but can improve by using my will to study art and that is what i am up for doing the next coming months together with writing.

I am a bit moody today but the sunlight shine through and i can say i have a totally okay day and maybe that is good enough.

Clown of The Day

This is the clown of the day - seizing the day and a bit romantic and qute.

It is for sale - so if you want the picture you can just send me an e-mail

Loving day to you all ! 

Red Angel

I have painted this picture in bright colors and it is the shape of my soul.

I want people to be happy with my painting and this has already got a new owner.

It is called " Red Angel " and is for curing anxiety and give peace and hope

and

to be always in hope for something new to happen.

The days are always in change and we must live with the changes.

I am going into a painting period and will present my pictures here on the blogg.

Always stay in hope for a better life and know that God is up for surprises

even in the art.

Go to an art exhibition and get surprised it alway gives you inspiration and new impressions that heals you're soul.

Have a nice and happy day 

Creative Writing Can Get You Out Of Depression

People might think they are the same everyday

and in troubles and the struggles in life depression can occur.

New thoughts can be looked on with writing.

You are often more creative than you think and a novel, a poem or a fairytale 

can get you into new thoughts about yourself and change the way you think and feel

Try to write to shape new thoughts

use you're talents and tell stories

even if they only will remain in the family

but you might get published one day.

Writer Digest can give you inspiration and new thoughts with creating new worlds and a new atmosphere around you 

and you come in contact with you're soul

So i recommend writing to get out of depression

You are always better than you think.

Good Luck !

A Little Fairytale " The Purple Glass Apple "

Once upon a time there was a little girl. Not like all others girls. She believed the world could be saved. She did all housework and planted a little tree in the garden to stay beside her to remember that days and years are new.
She was a little wise little girl. The years went on in playgrounds and in the street. But each evening she went to the little tree. She gave it water and watched it grow.
After many years the little tree was grown into a big tree. The branches and the leaves was beautiful and gave her rest from the sun.
She loved her tree.
One day an apple grown on the tree. And in all magic it was an apple of glass. Purple and very beautiful.
" Remember me always " Saied the tree.
She got a bit scared as new and surprising things often are. But talked back to the tree.
" How are you ? " Saied the little tree.
" I am you're best friend to show you that life has meaning and transform itself during the years. "
The little girl was thankfull over the tree. She picked down the glass apple and could see her siluette in the apple.
She had grown to a beautiful young woman. But she never forgot her childhood.
Beside the tree she grew into a woman. She got a husband and five children. The tree had grown into a large magical tree.
One day she was depressed about life she went to the tree :
" What shall i do to come out of a depression. "
The tree answered : " Come to me everyday. "
And so the young woman did. The tree gave her talks about the spirit. That it is like a tree. You transform during life and grow up to be an adult.
" I love you " said the tree.
" I love you to. " Saied the woman and the tree gave her a gift. Five apples to give to her children.
She gave the apples to her children and they got very happy. The apples was made of gold.
The children understood that the tree was magical and they took a swing to hang down from the branches of the tree.
One day the tree said : " Are you depressed still ? "
No i am not. I realized that the fairytale was just in my imagination, and i see how beautiful i can think.
The tree said : " There is magic in life in you're mind. And use it everyday to give people hope. "
The tree gave her a hug with the branches and the woman cried. She knew she was saved by the fairytale in imagination and that is something doctors and nurses don't understand. She started to be all herself again... knowing that the glass apple is real.

This was my first fairytale in the blogg. I write better in Norwegian, but the meaning is that it is found imagination in us that are unlimited and wanting to get out into the world. I have a purple glass apple. And know that i am not schizophrenic but an artistic mind. I hope you find spirit to find the diamonds within you and maybe start to write. There is so many beautiful people in their minds in the world. And we can't destroy them but make their resources to come out into the sun. In the autumn this year i will plant a tree for myself to remember that life grows in you and are not standing still.
Have a happy magical time to all the readers.

Paradise

The real life can be a struggle. But if we take a time to listen to ourselves and the tempo we want to live in Paradise can be found everyday. You don't need to be the best one and even you're biggest fear can be overcome by taking time and let connection with animals heal you. This horse " Frida " was a little bit aggressive towards me in the start ( she is with nearly all humans ), but after a while she started to get cosy and kind. She is not aggressive towards me anymore.

I have just relaxed all day and not done much. But days like these comes around. You can chose to have it boring or you can chose to have a good time. Choises is there all the time.

To find a good place to rest out i hope i have found now. Here is kind. or so i believe.

I am very kind and loving and love life. But sometimes problems occur and you start to question it all. In who to trust and who to not trust ?

But i live my life in the way i want even though i am hospitalized but it works also.

Thoughts can change in seconds and you can start to feel free no matter where you are when you are free in you're mind. 

Today has been a good day :-)

Daybreak Hotel

I call the institution i am at for " Daybreak Hotel " - some of us need to drop out of the societies school class once in a while. I have found my place by the sea here at the hotel.

I go down to the sea so often as i can - just to relax and find recovery from all i have been through. Life is not easy, but easy places is to be found all over the world.

Places to find rest and recovery and that opens the mind is sometimes hidden. This place i go to is very hidden - but a magical place for me when i am hospitalized. Sometimes the reality in hospitalizing is not so bad. I have a good day today. 

Who Control The Economy ?

I am reading and has ordered books about economy. 

But as i read something very suspicious and weird is entering...

What in the heck has happened to the world ?

People want jobs and why not give them and print up more money global ?

I dont understand why the countries don't work together but use billions on warfare to only get a pretty and gorgeous lady ?

I myself will rather laugh...

and start to wonder if my life is better in the psychiatric field than in the society today in 2015 ?

I start to laugh soon about all and write the novel the idiots about psychiatric patients wanting to love and have work... but who tell them they are not good enough ?

It is the same people they shall trust and show them care ?

I am just a big question... but the philosophers say it is then you start to understand ?

Gossip Girl

Everyday can be a struggle and i question a lot these days. And it is gossip. What if everybody started to talk ? ... And not just the ones presenting gossip ? Inbetween all what we hear and see the truth is there, and it needs to be found in this world. 

There is a new trend coming up ... i think it is called " Flawless " - a way of living the non perfect life, because in the society and it is by generations created. That we should live a perfect life. But what about the ones knowing that this is just a fasade. That under the carpet there can be dust and sometimes bacteria ?

I just wonder what happened if people cared more in kindness and love. And to not just create garbage with gossip. Everybody in this world has the right to life and people creating gossip is just not perfect. It is the lucky part that the ones creating gossip ends up like unsatisfied people and creating more gossip until nobody listens anymore. But what damage have they done ?

Maybe more than a psychiatric patient ?

I just wonder and feel a little angry on the people creating gossip to be popular and tell what is the news. 

People need to care and give more and create the loving planet in the society that earth really is.

I am kind - but wants the truth to be out there and when the medical system also creates gossip - what in the world shall you do ?

I just wonder how my life will go ?

The reality for me right now is economically questions and not something weird like a fairytale in psychosis. I have told the truth and has been medicated for it. 

All in all ...

I am just a big question on my life ?

The New Economic Question to Make the economy work ?

I am thinking a lot about economy - and the real question is

" How kind is mankind ? "

It can be will in people to end wars right now and build up a new economic system. People has to be kind and give away and lend to others - that way a new economic system can be build and the world saved for generations to come - i still believe it is possible :-)

Hillarious Good Band - Madrugada

One of my Norwegian favorites - they have created extremely good music :-)

A New World Economy ?

I have been reading about inflasjon and the market. I know that my theory about economy to print up more money to the poor in all the world will create new markets and new jobs. It can be done by giving out knowledge to people and government and work together for saving the world. If there is education in lifestyle and how much money you really need it can be done to end poverty and get a better global health. I am working on this for a while to get the economical system right. :-) It is just ideas presented - but i know it can work out good. There is more than 100 % :-)

Worldfund ?

It is getting shaped pretty weird for me and in a different way of thinking. I have been writing about economy and what if ?... a Worldfund had been established for global care of money and to give to the poor to create balance in the world. A Worldfund that takes care of the money for the world and give to poor people so they can get jobs and a better market. The society is so filled with beauty style etc... but what whit the people starving and only wanting a good happy meal and not another pair of shoes or a lipstick ? I think it can be done. A fellow patient is more realistic on my thinking... but i start reading economy and math because yesterday me and a patient showed that there is more than 100 % and we need algoritmer ( it is more norwegian ) to develop mathematic formulas for % thinking. I am very depressed but " working on a dream ". I want enough money to get security into my life and harmony. I hope you have a good laugh and a nice evening in this crazy world. I have started to say : " Crazy is the new normal. " :-)

It Is Wierder Now ?

Last night i spent thinking about economy. it is pretty strange for someone that don't have a clue on economy or money. But i think the idea i presented is easy and to give the poor people money and economy will create a different world. There will be more use of money and the production on things and groceries will be more asked after. It is getting pretty weird being me in a financial world. A fellow patient spent all night reading about economy and inflasjon for saving the world. I think the idea can be done if the world work together and starts being santa claus. It is still a while before it is christmas ( i had a pretty bad christmas last year ).
A totally new world economy can save mankind if the market sources don't raise the prices but are being held at a good level to give people aid. There is over billion people in poverty. I think printing up more money all over the world could have made a better and different world. And there would have been created more jobs.
I spend my days trying to understand economy and i might have a long way to go - but maybe new eyes and new ideas is pretty easy ?
That was the weird part of today - have a nice evening wherever you are in the world :-)

The Wierdest Thing

A coffee break can get you into thinking you never have thought before. I am not an expert in economical things... but i had a very weird thought for some minutes ago... I live in poverty and have to little money and it cost the Norwegian Society 5.7 millions nkr to treat me a year. It is 712500 usd a year. I have wondered a lot what had happened if they rather gave me the money or a job ? I could have had pretty much fun and eaten very well... i live for that people shall have a better life, and the strangest thought today was what happened if all the world got together and printed out more money and gave to the poor people ??? It can not only happen in one country. But if the market economy got changed with the whole world together. Maybe they had saved the world on one month or one year ?
It is just this kind of thoughts i get... and it is a bit different. But what is the economy and the money. If there was more money to all in the world and they sat prizes on groceries, health care and fuel on a different stage so maybe there was no more poverty in the world. I believe that it somehow can be done...even if i don't have a economical degree i can see for myself this happening and goodbye to poverty and yes to health ( i should have been talking about this to Mr. Barac Obama and UN ) - but i don't think this would have happened... just a crazy and weird thought... it was something different... but i believe it can be done without inflasjon. This is my everyday, new thoughts all the time, but i am not sure of that i am crazy for thinking global care thoughts ?

The Strangest Thing

You can sometimes feel that all life is stressful, chaotic, and full of clutter... and some of us can give up. I nearly did. But today it feels like it all has changed into meaning and a good life again with good emotions. It is so easy that only a walk in the nature can heal you and sometimes it seems like the right people occur around you and all fall into place again. Never Ever Give Up !!!
There is always a solution even though how hard it can be. I am at a little unit that is open and has only five patients. And it seems like the patients from the other unit want to be together with us. People can be different than what you think about them and more loving than you can think is possible. The strangest thing is that new friends occur sometimes from out of the blue, and gives you perspective on life.

We are born into this life to make a change i believe. I fight for the freedom and the life for mental ill people. The strange thing is that this kind of people are not strange at all when you get to know them. You get their story and start to understand that it can happen to any one of us. We need to take care of each other and sometimes the earth cries out for help. So be helpful... try to talk to someone you know is mental ill. Go on visit to them and show that you care, even if you are a little afraid. There is nothing to be afraid for. People love kind people and buy them a nice present. It don't need to cost much. It can change a life from illness to healing by taking a step towards mental aid and healing. It for the most is problem that we all have that creates a mental illness. But people seem to think they are the only one in the entire world with the symptoms. It is most likely something you self has thought about once, but the healthy humans tend to find different solutions. So maybe you can save a life today with a letter, a poem or a present to someone suffering. The strangest thing is that this can change the world. More care and more love. We are not alone on this planet, and with 8 billion people you need to understand that it is not the meaning that we shall stay alone.

In Youre Darkest Hours New Hopes Can Rise

I had my darkest hours for a few days ago. It seemed like my life was over. But loving people and especially my son gave me back courage. But sometimes it is enough just to let go and go with the situations. I was suicidal. But loving words and reactions on others kept me alive. I have been on the unit all weekend for care and help and was today moved to a open district institution. And have to build a life again. Late summer days wash my soul clean with a warm breeze and i feel like i belong here in life. But it is hard. I have been put under deprivative treatment from the doctors and some of the staff and i fight in court the right to live a free life. I work for the Human Rights to be heard all places and everybody is entitled the first command : " Right to Life " ( with all that is in it - but sometimes you need help, and i do now. ) The third command is against torture and deprivative treatment. But the lawyer i had did not do his work in court, so i might have to go further. But i am willing to take the steps for freedom to mental ill people. Because all people are different and entitled to life no matter how the situation is.
I have settled in in the new institution it is for people being able to take care of themselves, just needing some help with life. I realize i need this now after being torn down by another unit. I state my case : " All people is entitled to a new start . "
I was give this today and had had a good time, even though i can hardly walk and all i exercised back is gone. It is sad being treated this way and people think it is good treatment what i have been through. But it is not. It has to be stress reduction and not analyzing the mind all the time. Because we are soul also. And something good always comes along. I hope all suffering in the world will stand against bad treatment and bee entitled to be themselves. I listen a lot to Metallicas album " Load " and it helps me to chill out. The place i am at now is very kind. I think i stay here for a while, to see life grow again. Hope you stay in hope for people caring for you and telling you that they love you, there is always someone that does that.

Army Mother

My sons life has changed and so has mine. It is new days entering the stage of the world. But it is in the small spaces of life. I become a army mother this week. My son has gone into the army and i am so proud of him in these days of warfare and terror to fight it in peace and loyalty to the country Norway. It is different days and i don't know how the line or the life will go and i won't write much about it because of my sons security and his right to privacy. I respect that.

I fight in the court against doctors on advice from a Norwegian General that wanted to sign me out from hospital for over two years ago and i am still under treatment. And the doctors don't treat me good. Neither in the unit and not in court. Every person on earth is entitled to have a believe in God and hope for an everyday life to heal in. I go for the human rights to be held in hospitals and not deprivating treatment. I am so tired of all the medications that i sleep nearly all the time. But i still have some hope and courage left to go further with my case and against the evaluation from the doctors. They won't send me to another hospital that treated me better ??? And it is in the right of Norwegian Law to have free hospital right. You can choose what hospital you want. I don't understand why they keep me where i am at and they brag and say it is the best treatment in Norway and it is not. I know by practise. I fight for the rights to patients to be healed from mental crisis. I call it a crisis and not decease. I don't write more today but will be up with more news later on. I write a novel while this is going on so the truth can be heard. The most important thing is my son and there is where my heart is. The day of today i have spent writing poems to send to my son to keep in courage. But he is well of without me also. But a mothers love don't leave you.

Mystery

Some times something more reveals itself and a wise old lady in the family gave me something i chase all my life. My true journey started when my son was born and i was all mommy and it gave me back life to see a happy and peaceful child in my arms. And he still is peaceful and a grown man giving me good advices and reality check. We talk very good together. We are conversationers and love people. But now he is grown and i have to face a different world, and with Pegas One - the horse that saved my life with being for me the real Black Beauty there came back memories from my childhood. And something i forgot. The old wise lady knew that i was not happy as a child. I wrote letters to her and composed poems to her by the seaside. I was a dreamer. And i lied together with my brother listening to : " The never ending story " . The old wise lady gave me one day an ivory ball. And i did not know how valuable it was before i got back to horses. There is thousands of ivory balls in the world. But the one she gave me was very old and was so little. It was not bigger than a marble and had three balls. And she said : Noone will never understand the smallest ball ". She also said : " Guard it with you're life. " It got stolen and i remember what happened. And i know it exists today but i don't know where it is. She said : " There is only three of them in the world and it will help you as an adult. " I sat often with the ivory ball and dreamed, and my dreams got more beautiful than phantasia and with Pegas One i have tried to write the real story about my life and mysteries and that we can grow as humans on illness and show that you're biggest fear can become you're largest strength. I go when i am well again out on an adventure. To find back the ivory ball. And if someone should read this and know something please contact me. The old lady also said : " This is some of the mysteries by God, Jesus and the Holy Ghost - but i call the Holy Ghost the Holy Spirit. More i can't write right now i am in a hurry working with domains.

You're worse fear can become you're best friend

Sometimes life take a change you never thought you would take. And you can feel fear. You struggle for life and all you fear can reveal to become you're best friend and give you more love than you ever had before and even bring you closer to you're family with you're new experiences. I feared psychiatric treatment and patients with schizophrenia and other mental illnesses. I have believed so wrong. It is people like all other people and the strangest thing is that they show more natural feelings and are extremely intelligent and show me with their experiences that i don't live a boring life at all. But a rich life with interactions with humans and animals. The things you have feared can become you're closest friends and then you grow stronger. A reality check is often good to take. And sometimes you need to do it with other people. The best person to do it with is someone that knows you're whole life and love you for all its worth no matter what you say or do. Don't be so scared to people all over the world. It is friends in all people, but different kinds of emotions and different missions in life. I have decided to go public with my true mission in life and my wish since i was a little girl. It is Peace On Earth. I work for this in the small spaces and see that my work holds value. Even if it is just in the small spaces of life. Don't be scared of mental ill people - they can become you're best friend and even dream for you when you lost you're way and you're dreams. I have a good day and in the tunnel it is tagged with graffiti there stands " Tunnel Of Love. " There also stands Angel and angels comes in different disguise. The world is full of them if you look closer and if all the world could look closer and slow down they could see miracles happen and healing of all mental ill people and prevent it for the coming generations. Live in Peace - you don't need to have less fun. The paradox is that you will end up having more fun and even laugh at a anxiety attack. People with mental illness can be surprisingly strong and have the courage to stand alone. I don't stand alone, but have sortened out some of the missions in life by living more clear and with less speed. Peace to you - and have a good laugh together with the people always dreaming. There is no change without some looneys :-)

I have gotten free commercial by grafitti painters

Today i was at home and to the stable. It has been a fantastic day. On the road back we have to pass some tunnels. In the next last tunnel at " Lerstadveien " ( Lerstadroad) there is a tunnell and it was written on the wall with HUGE letters " Angel " - and something more i did not see because we passed so fast. I told about it in the unit because i laughed and have people i dont know saving me. And one nurse answeared : " All Commercial Is Good Commercial " - i dont know who has made this but i thank them for showing me that people care about me - even if i dont know them. It got me to think on younger days when i danced break dance and had a good and happy time. More up soon :-)

Garth Brooks is kindest to all mental ill womens

Today i listened to music i listened to twelve years ago ( i got a cell phone that is walk man phone and is 12 years old and is an ericsson ) - listen to Garth Brooks and what he sings about that the woman is " on bought side of the fence " - i did not understand it before now. And it makes my heart boost with love to Garth Brooks and take him back as a musician i listened a lot to.

To laugh a litle bit, we talked good and warm in the unit and a patient want to start a Bar like the one Toby Keith sings about in PS i love this bar. Enjoy two good musicians. I hang out in the patients bar when he starts it :-)

Happy The Budgie Saves Lifes !!!

I cant write much because i am hospitalised and i am reading nurse theory of evidence based treatment. My budgie is protected and in guard of my aunt child and she has tamed her and Happy belongs to her now. I have given her away. A good childhood is with my aunt child and she will understand her schizophrenic aunt when she grows up. This girl has suffered a lot and has had leukemia and is recovered. I have followed her with all my heart. And Happy is at the place i wanted her to be :-) Some secrets might never been told :-) Happy saves lifes. The budgie like Metallica more than Mozart, but loves most my aunt childs singing :-) Love life and God above he finds sollutions on prayers :-) Give the freebirds food and they saves you out :-)

Therapy Dogs In Action

Today we have had visits of dogs on the unit. It is dogs some of the workers on the unit owns and they are the kindest. I put out some pictures of them to show how good they are to us patients. They are extremely kind and protective dogs and i could lie on the ground between them.

This is " Balder " an AmStaff and Bull Terrier - he was extremely kind to me.

This is " Odin " an Husky and Pointer mix he is extremely understanding and kind and has been in on the unit as a therapy dog for many years.

The day has been good and i thank the unit to be kind to me and letting me play with the dogs and photograph them. They deserve an honor for their work. 

Have A Good Day

Poem : Waves

Silently whispering from the sea

that life on earth is here to be

Relaxed body by the beach

nursed by the sunlight

to become free

Every year the summer tells

loving words by natures chest

loving hearts in dreamers eyes

knows they found home

by the oceans side

loving humans tells no lie

the truth is this

that we are all kind

giving the sea whispering place in our minds

Let us love the world

for all its worth

that secrets is shared

and loneliness given bliss

by the sea there is noone to miss.

I Have Lost More Weight

This day is a new day for me. I have to face that i have changed a lot and is looking older. But i am still me and have had times that are worse than now. Today is a sunny day i have spent writing poems. And i will be back with a better picture of me to the blogg in a while. I am out of words this day - but for the readers - have fun in taking pictures. I get myself a better camera soon and will do some traveling next year. So i change the line in this blogg in a while. Have a good day and be up for surprises. You never know when you get a good laugh :-)

Poem : Miracle

All you are is a miracle

knowing you dont need

to be the best

Love is gentle

Love is real

A feeling a scientist cant reveal

In wondering

In how this earth

has 8 billion people

And all can feel love

How come war exists ?

I lay my love on God

hoping that one day the miracle is revealed

in that people can talk and show love

I pray for more love

so the world can face eternity

In that we are loved

and that mankind is honesty

End all wars with love

knowing that the best is God

In his perfection we can be

The first generation with honesty

to give away

to end all wars

Is the miracle yet to come

that people love

a bumble bee

sitting on youre hand when you are writing

about youre dreams

To show that God is near

and giving you all you need

Give and lend

to honest men

to see the wars end

before you get 110

The reality is this

we are only humans

and can be the best

by letting a wounded friend

rest on youre chest

It heals youre heart

to make you believe

that Gods precense is with you

from the day you give

Give love.

Poem : Starfish

Everyone is a believer

in something...

I believe in the Lord above

showing me that everyday

is in life to stay

Starfish i have never seen

but keep my dreams on litle wings

knowing that reality is good

In the ones still believing

that starfish really exists

and is showing you in glimpse

that the world is for free

and is youre ticket out of here

All you can be

you can become

But remember in the hardest days

that starfish is here on this earth

to help us on the way

to never forget

that true happiness is for free.

Poem : Beauty Fades - Reality Stayes

Somewhere along the road

all my love was revieled

Never to hold or to keep

Somewhere along the road

you pray for God

Beauty is all shining

with a glimpse of a personlaity hiding

Never to use make-up

knowing that true friends

stay with you in the end

No matter how you look

beauty stayes

in the light of youre eyes

Thank you for loving me

I hope to be

110

and stick with you until the end.

" Thank you my friends. "

Poem : " I Never Dreamed Of You "

" Tick tack toe " my love owerflowed

for a litle child of heaven blessed

made me do my best

Dreams I never had for a man

a single mother by the shorelines

never told her secret stories

One day a man came along

travelling all the world

to find a loving mother

doing her best

never telling why she chosed her way

away from the man

even if she loved him

Because a single mother knows

the secrets of her child

knowing the litle child will grow

in her arms

to a better man than she ever met

love, strength and will by heaven sendt

a teacher for his mother

to guide her through the world

and telling her the truth :

" The youth is the future. "

And in all its beauty

the litle man is grown

and his mother made her duty.

" You are loved Son. "

Revealing The Presence Of God

Yeasterday was an exiting day. I thought about new mathematchics because there is more than 100 %. The Universe is not developed yet, it expands all the time. I wrote earlier about the speed of light and the mass of light. There is new theories developing there also. To revieal the presence of God can be done with new mathematics and science in percentage counting. If you have one sees to a tree. It becaomes one tree. But how many trees come out of that one tree ? It can with the right enviroment become endless. There is something controling the earth and nursing it all the time and it is an extremly kind force. I believe it is God. And with studying all this I might get to prove that God exicsts. I believe strongly, so think about in all that happens in the world that we dont see. The presence of God is here, and i focus all i can and for the rest of my life on this study when it created fantastic beautiful thoughts. The world is a great place, so stay here forever. 100 % might not be 100 % but more. It is on how you count it and see the mass, and i might solve a new theory with the speed of light with all this. I write in a book about this in Norwegian because i write better and more humourus there. Have a great day in this special beautiful world and be up for suprises :-) God is always in for that :-)

Dont Be Perfect - Be Yourself

You are unique in youre own way. There is nobody like you in the entire world and you are always loved for all that you are. You have talents, known or hidden and take time to explore this chapther in youre life. All youre dreams can come true, if you only dare to be the true self of the person you are ment and chosen to be. There is a reason for our lifes and we need to hold out in all suffering to se what life shapes us to. We are like diamonds. Hidden treasures for the world. Everybody got talents, resourses and love to spread to the world. Hold on every minute of youre life and accept yourself. The true meaning is not to copy another person, but find out that you can make the best of who you are and then get more happy and secure in life. You get a solid identity that people can not tear down no matter what they do. Find youre spaces in life where you have time to dream and make choises for what you wanna do with youre life. There is always a sollution and unknown possibilities, even if someone refuses you. Just promise youreself to do youre best in a natural way. Not always trying to satisfie others. Help youreself to be youre best friend and thank God for that there is a reason for youre existanse and purpouse in life - even though it can be hard to find sometimes. Search and you will find. And sometimes people finds you. Love everyday no matter how hard it can be. Small moments of happiness can give you strength to carry on in the most impossible ways and make the road and the travelling possible. I hope you stay you - and find the best parts of yourself and love them, then you will find meaning everyday. Look for hope in all you see and take always care of friends that stays with you at bad days. Love exists for all humans. So love youreself and be youre best friend.

I MADE IT !!! The diet that works for all fat people :-)

I went home today and have felt so bad that i don't have had structures and measuring of my goals. But even with this i made it through. I am back in size Medium ( 10 ) and is looking in the body like i did ten years ago and i have been 100 kilos - 200 punds !!!
I have done this nearly without exercise and know that all people can diet down and i have done this with medication and a slow metabolism and the diet works good. But I am higher in muscles than for ten years ago and stronger in the body and have not lost my breasts. I love the diet !!! The man teaching me the diet was a 92 year old man i had as a patients when i was working as a nurse and he told me what to do because he was stronger than 20 year old men.  It is the Power Diet and it is based on eating fish and seafood. It makes you're muscles stay on and fat goes off you're body. I write a book about this diet and i say no to all protein shakes and bars because there is little science on what that does to the body. It was not in the 50`ties and 60`ties when this man was young. I am 40 years old and stronger then when i was 30 !!! It is incredible and i feel up for life. I am soon ready for a night on the city and dating again :-) I have had a very bad time and suffered a lot but know that the impossible can be done even when you are not making it very good. I have tried on jeans and clothes the all day and is laughing of being 100 kilos and going down. The strange part was that people treated me kinder when i was 100 kilos. I looked soft, cosy and kind. Now i look a bit tougher and stronger and hope soon i am fit for reality :-)

Eat fish and seafood and i develop a product in food if i make it through to sell to the diet that works better than protein shakes and bars and is more healthier. I am working with this together with a friend and i will front it myself. Have hope all you cosy soft people. I have been there, tried it and know the diet work. Wait for my book or send me a mail and i explain the diet more for you. A good advice. Stay a bit hungry in-between because food tastes better then. It is a lifestyle that make you strong and i know i am even though i am in a mental institution and none of the patients don't understand why i am there. Hold on and start today with seafood. I make products to the diet that makes you're body healthy and strong. Have all hope you can have and it is all worth it to diet down and you will also have good laughs :-) I am looking for a kind man that understands like Muse does. Crazy is the new Normal :-)

Garbage Clowns

This is the clown of the day - to brighten up the day and tell you to play more in life. Everyday can be a struggle but with an artistic wiev on life nearly all can be seen in humor. I lost my father two months ago and it was hard to let go and i thought i would be in grieve. But the strange part was that moments of fun and all his fun sides came back to me and i laughed a lot in grieve. People are remembered differently and when you say goodbye to someone you love the strangest moments can come back to you. I chose to meet life with a smile and the clowns keep me always in a good mood. They are out for sale - so if you want one - just contact me on e - mail.

Rainbow Breeze

I thought this should be the name of a race horse. I am back to horses and they keep me in spirit. I am planning in buying my own horse. But money decides and thats the truth that it often does. Money can tell people who you are in things you own. But poor people holding their identity no matter what is stronger than people with money. Happiness is not for money - but in my case with horses it is. I need to save money and in the time for that i paint. The pictures are for sale and this picture is 1m in the wide and 2 meter high. It is for sale to the one bidding highest. It is to make you heal and for happiness.

The pictures are painted in prayers and happiness and is to always be in a good mood and have a place to return to.  I have more work done and present this working now and then.

49 Millions American Starves - Here Is A New Sollution In Making Them Happy Again

This morning in the unit i was waching Dr. Phil and learned new things about neuroscience and the fact also was presented that 49 Millions Americans starves and lack daily food. I was in schoock over not hearing and seeing this before now in 2015 and wonder what the gouvernement in USA has done to make this come to an end, or to say in a kinder way : A NEW BEGINNING for all in poverty and lack of food. Poverty is a huge factor in the world. And when i saw this i got the idea. Why not do as me and my friends does. Some of us make food together to save money because when we make on our own we always has leftovers. And it could be the start of a new society. Where people get help for theire problems bought physical and mental and not be alone anymore, and children get new friends and has a richer childhood than to only sit inside and play computer games.
I had the idea of a new plan www.foodfamily.com but it was taken i think. But something in that way to make people eat together and give theire leftovers away. It is so easy. And the world is in poverty because of all the wars going on. USA need to take a new direction for theire people in poverty ( and so does also Norway ) Everything is  kind here and also towards USA. You can believe one thing and find out that it is the totally opposite. No country is perfect but the world needs to be more including. And helping someone can give you the ticket to youre life - that someone saves you when you need it. We never know our future. So make more parties is my sollution and make the world a happier place together with old and new friends. Poverty can end with all working together for a better world. And Best of Luck America !!! :-)

You can think a billion things at one time

I have thought a lot about how the brain and our mind function. We use by research not more then 10 % and has an endless capasity. I got a diagnose and realised that i had more talents then i thought. Like i could play the piano at the age of 37 without have played it before. And i draw and painted better. I have delievered exams to apply the citys art school this year and will go into art theraphy as a nurse and tell that the mind developed at all ages. It is not true that our personality is formed at the age of 3 years old. We develope all life and a new life meets us everyday. I have learned that people with alzenheimer can learn to remember with people never giving them up and train them with new impressions every day.
Today in the smoking room i got a new thought. And that is that we are able to think a billion things in one time. Just form a picture in youre mind like an artist and put as many things you want in that picture. And the picture formes to one thought with billions things in it. We are all incredible in the way we think. And to get the power over youre thoughts and not be afraid of them cures all mentall disese. To be an artist and a thinker can get youre life into ways you never believed. I never believed i would end up in a mental institution with the " thought police " - i love Muse for theire song Resistance. To shape beautiful thoughts can make youre whole life change. Only one good thought that you can hold in youre mind can cure you. I have impression from real horses in my mind and that cures me. I go to the stable to ride and overcome fright by horses that treats me good and dont make any fuzz. I live for seeing a new world formed by magic thoughts that go into art because it forms youre life. One picture can heal you or make youre life easier and form youre identity. To get people into art and find theire potential and talent can be done at any age. And i think of horses running out from water now. Our mind can work in the most beautiful way - without the doctor to notice because they just dont understand the developing mind. Every day is new in my life - like my experiences and my painting. The world is so beautiful and people beeing kind and loving the world gets closed in - i think it is about time that the psyciatrick field think new. That people do change by theire working and theire experiences to think thoughts never thought before. Think of all the most important and beautiful things in youre head all the time - or as often as you can and get a new life. It forms all youre identity and with coping with probblems and think beautiful you get healed or a better and new person. I have a good time and is soon written out of the hospital and will take pictures to my blogg. Love every second of life because you have only this life.

Happier Days I am Writing " The Idiots "

Life turns by the moments and i have better days. Today i was home and felt up for a marzipan cake and bought one and had coffe and cake together with a man working at the unit. He got surprised over the change in me when i was at home, because i was all me. To be hospitalized is the most boaring life on earth. I also found out by the doctor that i am given a diagnose because of real problems the doctors has not believed in, but i have a private psycologist that knows it is true, and i go back to her to get rid of the diagnoze. It is difficult to be nearly a sane person and get treated with schizophrenia. But i am really not. So the world can be a very crazy place. It is family problems that has given me the diagnoze and some people are playing games. I dont. I just want a peacefull life and go and play the lotteri to see if i can win some money to build or buy a house. It is allowed to dream. I write a novel about all the things happening so people can understand the truth. So when i go back home the crime novel i write " The Idiot " changed title to " The Idiots ". Dostovjeski wrote " The Idiot " so i cant use that title. Maybe i end up without no diagnoze going back to my psycologist because somebody plays St. Mary and is not. I have been fooled to hospitalization and diagnose and i really dont know why. To my family i have to be kinder that jesus christ to get in and be traeted nice. And i am a bit to crazy for life to go under that, and normal borders you should have when people control you for years. I did not want to get controled anymore. But got a diagnoze and got more controled but the private psycologist knows that i am not the problem. It is a hard struggle and i probably have to move out of the country to get normal treatment with people that understand different diagnosis in people. In my family i am not the only one that should have a diagnose. and i wonder what the psycologist tells about me. The crimenovel " The Idiots " took a new direction. When you dont get information in what has happened over three years and finally gets it you get in shoock, but i make it through and i dont give up easily to get my life back. I have been kind all my life and never been in any trouble with nobody else than a few persons in my family and they have played me hospitalised. St. Mary is not in my family but really good actors that hides seveare problems. " The Idiots " will be finished fast when i get signed out in some weeks. Life tends to give you what you need and that was a marzipan cacke and a cosy talk, some dreams about winning the lottery and some laughs over how good patients are because one wanted to sign me out today. He dont understand what i am doing here at the unit. ( ???? .... to be continued...my life is worse than Glamour and Dallas....phuuu.... i survive. ) ( I think i am still in my teens sometimes :-)))

A Better Day

It is morning here and the scenery and the nature is beautiful. My mood changed around of a friend and my son. I have so many that loves me and when they stay in there together with you everything is easier. Yeasterday was Saturday and i went to shop a jeans and some make up. It was a bit hard for me to get a jeans that suited because i have gone down in weight and is size 10. I have gone down from size 16. And is still going down. I got help in the store in one of the most special and beautiful young woman i have ever seen. She looked like Nelly Furtado only more special. She had a lot of personality and was the kindest to me. It helped a lot to get good service. I go back when i am signed out to tell that woman how special she is. I painted, wrote and did some artistic drawing of figure i saw in the dust at the computer screen and the drawings turned out good. I played card and hung out with my friend. So i slept well this night. We friends here at the unit helped also out a kind man that stayes in his room all the time because he hears voices and dont manage to be together with us. I helped him out with talking about my experience when i had those symptoms. I dont have them anymore. And the man sat  a long time together with us in the evening and i hope he had a good night. It feels good to help and i know a lot about hearing voices. I have once heard that myself but not anymore. So i can use my skills to others and help them out to dont hear voices anymore. It is not scary at all and i am braver than earlier and know that to work and be myself gets me happy. I asked the unit for group theraphy and they would start it when they saw the effect we patients have on eachother and that is good. I also learned a new card game yeasterday and i went to bed all right and woke up this morning feeling good. I walk better when i am in a better mood. Patients can help more than nurses because they have first hand experience. Be kind to all mentall ill. They suffer a lot and only dream small dreams in getting theire life back. Times changes - it is just to hang in there.

When It Hurts II

Days passes by and i recall memories. The medication make me weak and dizzy. I have not quality on life and it seems like my pased get me. I float back to better days when i was well and in stamina. I think about it all and tries to write a novel about the psyciatric field in a humourous way to make people see how bad the treatment is. I dont recall all my life and the psyciatric treatment drag me into a role where i am not ill, but depressed over my situation and only focusing here and now when i talk. It is no place to be. The doctors is in the believe that i am better. But i am only resigned with no forces to fight. I read, listen to music and paint to make the days going and only hope that a better psyciatric field is beeing developed with happiness to the patients. I walk as a bag. Short steps and very tired. It is no good treatment to be in the role of a passive humanbeeing without the control to use youre own will to reach youre dreams. It seems like i make it through. All i want is back to my appartment, be together with my good friends and write novels and paint. It is not a lifestyle that requires medication. Actually i understand very litle in how they treat me. " Turn My Head " i put out today, because i have a love story i cant remember all of. It seems like the years erase the feelings and the thoughts. Or maybe it is the medications. I hope all can have the reality to dream and reach theire dreams. I still dream - but very litle. It is just to try to hang in there as long as i can.

When It Hurts

Sometimes everything hurts. I have it like this now. It seems like my future goes in to medications that drains me out and make me to a bag of tiredness. I suffer a lot in the mornings, and it is far away from the wivvid girl with stamina that celebrated every coming new day. I dont understand how the doctor think. I am to much medicated and suffer a lot. Once in my life i went out running in the mornings with my dog, and now i can hardly walk. It scares me how the doctors think and how many people that goes away from you when you suffer from a mental illness. You end up nearly alone.
I wish and pray that society could do something. The treatment is to bad and i dont know how long i last in this feelings. It is no life.
Dreams is still there for art school and a life in joy, but it seems like million miles away. To end up like this is hard and people seem like they only want the perfect life. They dont want to bother with us with mental issues even though how kind we are. And i meet only kind people. I cried yeasterday and the only one talking to me and wanting to save my life was a fellow patient. So what do the people work in the units do ? Patients should be signed out when they work better than the nurses. I dont understand the system. I hope i get a better day. But it seems like my life is headed to a lot of suffering. I still dream on praying that somebeody one day understands that medication is not the sollution it take away all quality and joy of life. Take care of youreself and hope you never get mentall problems. Live all you can, because it might be to late one day. stay with friends that loves you and care for them. I hope my situation turns. And will be back for more later.

If We Only Dared The World Would Be Saved

Today i got a lesson in life skills by an old lady. I had my daily walk and had been to the hospital buying a magazine and a chocolate bar and i walked to a beautiful scene by a bench with good wiev. I sat there alone and after a while an old lady came walking. She saw me and walked towards me and smiled. She apologiezed for herself for walking not so good. I told her that in all ages you need exercise. I thought she should have known my story, but i did not tell that i am patient at a mental unit. She talked to me that she felt so bad after visiting a friend that was not so good at the hospital. And i helped her relieve the pain and she walked in better mood and walked better.
It learned to me that it is so litle in this life that helps out people having a bad time. And if there was a world full of " Helping Agents " that people could talk to when they not felt good the world would be a better place. I helped out someone in my way today and it felt good. The lady got to know nothing about me. I look well and i act well and have a lot of kindness in me to help out other people. It cost nothing giving other people love and kindness and it can help a lifetime. So reach out to the people around you no matter where you are. It can change the world for someone.

Runners High

Today i desided to go for it. I know i can`t be passive anymore. I have been walking and hiking and i have blogged over a year. It take time to heal and it has been a rough year for me. It feels like this also in my body. Today i exercised with the physical theraphist and later on i runned for a while. I have not been running for years. I still smoke but my stamina and breathing was good and the only thing i felt was a litle pain in my knees. But it will go away when i diet down. I have my picture as inspiration to go back to the stamina i once had. I was very good exercised and had a lot of energy. It felt good to make a new start and one nurse got so happy for me that she got more happy than me ???
I laugh a litle. But it is good to make a fresh start and see that it works out. No matter where you are in life you can start exercise and i have gone down 20 kilos in a year and have 20 more to go. So i think my project takes two years. It take a lot of will power but it pays of. I have side effects of the medications and that is that it slower down the body metabolism and it takes more energy to exercise. But i am doing it !!! I got runners high and good laughs of running and good feedback with the nurses. I need to buy new shoes and equipment and gear to make this goal happen to be all myself again - but i know and feel now i can do it and that is better than for one year ago. A lot has happened. I have moved, and is soon moving again, i have work in a stable and take riding lessons, i hike and i draw, write and paint a lot. So all in all i should be satisfied with that i have a good life. The goals has payed of. I am attending the art school in this city to the autumn and later on i take a ph.d in psycosis treatment and i have worked together with the staff on the unit with application on money to more outdoor treatment. So a lot happens around me. Always have a good spirit and never give up. There is always a good life waiting for you and i am having runners high and it feels good.

Dont Ever Give Up On Youre Dreams

I am heading to a new life.
1. I am moving to the city Aalesund and maybe a cosy loft appartment on 90 square feet, i go to watch it tomorrow or the day after. It will be huge for me to live there and it is very beautiful and good.

2. I got mail from a publisher that they are evaluating a fantasy fiction novel i have written to publishing. I might get a no - but people have read it here in the unit, bought men and women and they liked it a lot.

I am shivering in happiness and relieve to finally be on the right direction. I have wanted more to be a writer than a nurse, because i can write about nursing and not be working in first line. Today it all got a bigg fuzz in me of all happening and it was excitement i have not felt in years.

Dont ever give up - if it so has to go to the end of the world - but to calm you down - i think it is billions of lightyears before the world goes under ( actually i think it never will ).

Have a good day - and hold always on to the true person you are - one fine day it pays off :-)

New Line In Coaching - it got silent around me :-)

Everyday new thoughts about life can occur. Last night i solved a psycological riddle. I have been in pain and grieve over people only wanting things and get the best job etc... Often the goal is materialism and money. Psycological treatment only goes on thoughts and behaviour and i thought out load in the unit after thinking about goals : 1. What do i want to feel ?
The answear was easy. I want to laugh and stay social having fun. I dont want so much what others want. But i need some things in life as a job, a house and a vaccation once in a while. But i knew i was standing over a lifechanging question. I want to laugh until i die.
My first goal is to stay together with people i laugh together with and i have the simmilar humour and people that understand me. It is not difficult to make this goal happen. I fulfilled it right away. Here is humour but i cant write much about it because i need to protect the private life to other patients. But change youre thought to how you want to feel. Happiness is found in laughter. But the chace after happiness in only things dont give you happiness for life. People you laugh together with gives you a strong happiness. I need also to go after comics, and films and magazines etc to get myself to laugh more. It is easy to make this goal happen. Ask youreself what feelings you want to have and not what you think is a superious goal like money and the perfect partner etc... To give youreself time to sorten out what feelings you want to feel you can set up a new direction in life that dont cost much. The goals are often in reach very soon. Try it - because i think you will succed faster than you think and get youre dream life straight ahead. It got very quiet in the unit when i talked about that all the psyciatric field is wrong. I speak and write better in Norwegian and a medical doctor got very silent. Maybe we are up for a change in the psyciatric field that problems get solved faster. And by the way - something was wrong with my shower, four nurses tried to fix it. but a patient came in and sortened it out at once !!! We are not stupid and  lesson learned to all of the nurses. The patients asked afterwards : " Why are I on medications ? " Nobody could answear good on that. :-)