Happier Days I am Writing " The Idiots "

Life turns by the moments and i have better days. Today i was home and felt up for a marzipan cake and bought one and had coffe and cake together with a man working at the unit. He got surprised over the change in me when i was at home, because i was all me. To be hospitalized is the most boaring life on earth. I also found out by the doctor that i am given a diagnose because of real problems the doctors has not believed in, but i have a private psycologist that knows it is true, and i go back to her to get rid of the diagnoze. It is difficult to be nearly a sane person and get treated with schizophrenia. But i am really not. So the world can be a very crazy place. It is family problems that has given me the diagnoze and some people are playing games. I dont. I just want a peacefull life and go and play the lotteri to see if i can win some money to build or buy a house. It is allowed to dream. I write a novel about all the things happening so people can understand the truth. So when i go back home the crime novel i write " The Idiot " changed title to " The Idiots ". Dostovjeski wrote " The Idiot " so i cant use that title. Maybe i end up without no diagnoze going back to my psycologist because somebody plays St. Mary and is not. I have been fooled to hospitalization and diagnose and i really dont know why. To my family i have to be kinder that jesus christ to get in and be traeted nice. And i am a bit to crazy for life to go under that, and normal borders you should have when people control you for years. I did not want to get controled anymore. But got a diagnoze and got more controled but the private psycologist knows that i am not the problem. It is a hard struggle and i probably have to move out of the country to get normal treatment with people that understand different diagnosis in people. In my family i am not the only one that should have a diagnose. and i wonder what the psycologist tells about me. The crimenovel " The Idiots " took a new direction. When you dont get information in what has happened over three years and finally gets it you get in shoock, but i make it through and i dont give up easily to get my life back. I have been kind all my life and never been in any trouble with nobody else than a few persons in my family and they have played me hospitalised. St. Mary is not in my family but really good actors that hides seveare problems. " The Idiots " will be finished fast when i get signed out in some weeks. Life tends to give you what you need and that was a marzipan cacke and a cosy talk, some dreams about winning the lottery and some laughs over how good patients are because one wanted to sign me out today. He dont understand what i am doing here at the unit. ( ???? .... to be continued...my life is worse than Glamour and Dallas....phuuu.... i survive. ) ( I think i am still in my teens sometimes :-)))