Sleep Well

The day started with serious problem in getting up. I slept until 13:00 and was so tired i could hardly walk. It gives me experience i have never had how serious it is when you nearly have no will to live. You want to live, but thoughts are cluttered up. In past memories and a post traumatic depression after treatment. But i managed to make dinner and take a shower and wash clothes.

The weather today has been very good and i went to the nearby store for doing some shopping of groceries and food to the cats. People act differently but are in general kind.

I shopped jarn for nitting. I dont know the word in english but the autumn is here with darker evenings and it gives me time to knit. I am not so very good at it, but practice makes you better.

The cats have been out the all day and just come inside for food and water. They love the outdoor life here at the farm, and climb in trees and play around with each other.

It gets me in a good mood.

I bicycled two times today. Not so very long but enough to see that when i am in vitality and spirit i can make it better than i believe myself. It was refreshing to bicycle in the green fields.

I work with the little prince returns 

and write poems.

I see that in my worse days of life i can make things with love and that in my core there is a great love for all that surrounds me.

Ted is very kind and comes inside to check on me that i am doing fine.

He is the kindest cat i have ever had and he gives me comfort and healing.

They are farm cats and is expanding they're territory and is kind.

To see how joyful they are and how much they trust me is healing.

It is worth writing down you're mood when you feel better from depression so you know that you can survive. In all my despair of the last week, i did not think i would make it through. But i did and also managed exercise. I sit now with a croissant, coffee and chocolate and know by a heavenly relieve that pain and depression can go over. I know i will struggle until i am off medication, or change to a better medication that i can survive.

Thanks to kind people around me and my pets i survive.

I feel peace and comfort and relieve of pain.

The surprise in this is that it can give you the best moments of you're life when you get relieve in pain. Because you see true love and people that fights for you.