The Perfect Nation

I am thinking in the last hours of the night. When i have been awake missing our dog " One Step Closer " alias Toya to guard me and make me sleep. I sleep at daytime afraid that someone comes in the apartment at night. Sacred hours have been shared with the Lord above in prayers and in laughter of the Perfect Nation. I have a lot of humor. But don't laugh at what i am writing now. There is a struggle in Norway to be perfect and smart for all people living here. Even the crown prince works for the smarts people and that is good. But what about the people suffering with the same abilities but don't have the same possibilities in family and economy. They believe they are stupid and get diagnosis as ADHD etc. I pray for all the children, mothers and fathers suffering in this country called Norway that is profiled as the best country in the world to live in. But what has happened when they kill a single mother suffering from praying and fighting for that nobody hurts in this world and have all needs fulfilled ? I prayed for Bono and this song to make it through for years. But who really listen when the system of the creation of government create a war in society and in humans ? People die in Norway in the psychiatric of wrong treatment and it is people we can't loose. All is equal in this earth but not here in Norway. It is a rich country and everybody wants to be the best. Some are clever and are satisfied with what they have. But the society wants to be more and more perfect and it creates a role in people that they think they have to be perfect to stay in the society and get accepted or maybe get the best man or women.
I got ugly on purpose. I gained weight from 54 kilos to 97 kilos to get people off my back and stop to look up at me. They wanted to know all about beauty and body to be at their best. And what has happened when a isolated patients sits and treats nurses how to be at their best at questions from them. It made me feel like all is : " I want it all ! " It was different ages from young to elder people asking me for advice. I have worked hospitalized with nurses and patients and never got the real rest i need. I just want peace - and it is not psychotic to want and pray for world peace and it is not a diagnose. So if i get hospitalized of writing my blog and the truth i wonder what Norway really is. Nothing seem to work anymore. The doctors have been good to me lately but i don't know over time -they broke all my trust. I just have one single wish " Peace " for all mankind and not the struggle of being the most sexy and the most beautiful and the very best. I just wanted to be me and a mother to my son and work as a nurse. It is not the best payed job in Norway but i was happy. I just want to have easy days walking the dog Toya and get nursing from here and be together with Pegas One. I don't need all the world. But i want all people to live no matter who they are. It is an impossible question that shall get you hospitalized ?

I wonder so much about the perfect nation Norway because there was stolen from me a manuscript to a movie - so beautiful that the meaning was to treat suicidal people and give them life back. I am inventive and designed the computer " Eye-one " and it got stolen from me at a unit. I don't have a clue what is going on and nobody does anything. It has made me like a big question mark and i wonder why people steals from mental ill patients or the crazy people. Maybe i am one of the real crazy people that manage to live through this with a smile and laughter. But it hurts to be poor when you have all you're mind functioning hospitalized. Norway i don't understand but i walk in my little zone of Peace. And maybe i created world peace for myself ? Maybe i reached my goal ? I have ataraxia and are happy and joyful - but today i miss the little nurse " One Step Closer " alias Toya to guard me at nights. She is a dream and so loving that all the world can be if she and me are together. And is it to much to ask for in Norway to be left alone and just stay together with the people you love and welcome new friends in kindness. The world can be saved if all humans find inner peace. They don't want any war then and the bravest thing is to just walk away and then you will laugh a lot. I wish you peace of mind and knowing that the reality is that Norway is not the most perfect country in the world. There is a lot of struggles and difficulties in a lot of people and many people suffering. I just pray for that the peace will stay - because others get peace and joy from me. So the rest i have left in life i give to others in peace. And tomorrow i walk and fetch Toya to stay here so i can sleep so not the CIA-pretenders get in the apartment. I got clicked of an image on the internet an hour ago - it was a bad picture of a x-ray of a human brain. I don't like it at all because i own a lot of domains. I am a kind person - educated as a nurse and just asking the world for peace - together with Toya which is named after this song in U2 " One Step Closer " from the album Vertigo - and she made me knowing :-)